Full Time Working Mum's - how do you do it all?

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

I'm currently on maternity leave with my first child, and was hoping to return to work next year working 25 hours a week. However, following a meeting at work last week, they have refused this request stating various business operational reasons and the upshot of it is that I need to return full time.

I'm contracted to work just over 36 hours per week so I have asked that I fix my hours (I currently work flexi time) so that I can drop my LO off at childcare and pick him up and hopefully have an hour or so with him at the end of the day before bath and bed.

MY OH works very long hours and has a very relaxed attitude to housework, therefore the brunt largely falls on me - although he says he will help more when I return to work. My mum and sister have been loading on the guilt about me going back full time and also keep banging on about how hard I will find it all.

Are there many full time working mums on MSE? Is it doable or am I biting off more than I can chew? Any tips , advice or just general thoughts would be appreciated.

euronorris

What do YOU want to do?

Did your work's reasoning seem logical, or do you feel you could challenge it?

Are you able to survive on your OH's wage if you decided to look elsewhere for a part time job?

(I'm not a mother yet, but those seem the most important questions for you to start with).

HTH

x

toffifee

I'm no expert but didn't want to read and run.

I went back to work full time after my first and my second and it's definitely doable, although it seems like a long time ago now (they are 8 and 6) so I'm struggling to come up with any tips for you.

I usually managed to get at least part of the week working at home which helps by saving on the commute time and you can also get a bit done now and then during the day (e.g. put a load of washing on while you wait for the kettle to boil). Is that a possibility for you?

It will be hard at first but you'll find your own routine. I've never been very house proud so dust and mess don't bother me. I now have a cleaner/tidier who comes once or twice per week and gives the kitchen a good clean and keeps on top of other cleaning around the house. I recommend looking into something like this if you can afford it.

Good luck and hope someone with more recent experience than me comes along soon!

spendingmad

I went back to work full time when my eldest was 2.5 (part time previously) and it was hard work, I then had a second child went back part time and eventually gave up to become SAHM when DD was 2.

Working F/T can be done you just have to be super organised. It may help if your OH can do the morning nursery run so you can start work early then finish early spending a good couple of hours in the evening with LO.

I think alot has to do with circumstances if you need to work, then you just have to get on with it and do it! Explain the situation to your Mum and sister and ask for their support.

Are there any other job opportunities which you could look at which would allow P/T working etc?

I am sure whatever to decide to do, you will do well, just remember to have some 'me' time in there.

LabLover

Im not a mum yet (12 weeks pregnant ) But will be telling my boss soon and ideally would like to suggest coming back to work , with more flexible hours , I currently work 9-5 mon-fri and dont get paid for my lunch hour (im salaried,but it works out I get paid 35 hours per week) So I plan to ask to change my hours mon-wed 9-6 and then thurs 9-12 and fri 9-12. This will mean I will be doing 30 hours. Its not ideal I would love just to work mornings but I do like my job and I know that this would not be practical in the industry I work in. I do worry that I will miss out on my childs life. My mum was a stay at home mum and I had the best up bringing. But I just cant afford not to work and part time jobs are like gold dust at the minute.Lots of mums do it , I suppose its just a case of adjusting your priorities

balletshoes

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt wrote: »

I'm currently on maternity leave with my first child, and was hoping to return to work next year working 25 hours a week. However, following a meeting at work last week, they have refused this request stating various business operational reasons and the upshot of it is that I need to return full time.

I'm contracted to work just over 36 hours per week so I have asked that I fix my hours (I currently work flexi time) so that I can drop my LO off at childcare and pick him up and hopefully have an hour or so with him at the end of the day before bath and bed.

MY OH works very long hours and has a very relaxed attitude to housework, therefore the brunt largely falls on me - although he says he will help more when I return to work. My mum and sister have been loading on the guilt about me going back full time and also keep banging on about how hard I will find it all.

Are there many full time working mums on MSE? Is it doable or am I biting off more than I can chew? Any tips , advice or just general thoughts would be appreciated.

its perfectly do-able - but if you're houseproud, you may have to accept it won't be as perfect as you're used to. I've seen posts from others here with this sentiment (and I totally agree with it) - your child won't remember an untidy lounge or a bit of dust on a shelf, they'll remember quality time spent with you and their Dad.

Do a bit of tidying away, the dishes when you're finished eating, and run around with the hoover if it needs it. Slosh some bleach down the loo and wipe around your bathroom taps. Leave any heavy cleaning until the weekend, and get your OH to take responsibility for looking after your little one for a couple of hours on a Saturday or Sunday so you can do it.

Enjoy the time you have with your child, they grow up so fast.

pinkshoes

I had my first child 4 weeks ago, and am having the same issue. I'm about to put in an official request to work 3 days a week (so 25 hours), which I'm thinking they will probably reject.

If they do reject it and want me to work full time, then I have no idea what I'm going to do, as I'd be out the house from 7am until 6pm, and really don't see the point of having children if they're just going to be left with a child minder all day... My only hope is that I know they're currently struggling to recruit people with decent qualifications and experience, so MIGHT just let me do 3 days a week.

I'm expecting a no though, so currently trying to figure out what to do, including re-training and a change of career to one with flexible hours!

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

I'm a temporary SAHM mum, but our finances dictate that I need to work full time.

I returned to work when me DD was 9 months old to 40 hours a week. I was fortunate in that my mum cared for her at our house so didn't have to factor in a child care run. Mum also helped out with the housework for me, ie doing the ironing.

It's definitely about being organised, pack your bags the night before, decide what you're wearing and get it out as well.

mum2twinsx2

I work 30hours over three days. I use to do alot more before having my children. I work two days in office and one day at home, today is my working from home day.

i think you have to look at it from two different views, firstly whats best for you and your baby and secondly for your household financial needs.
I like going to work even though i have four children, it gives me `me time.` Dont get me wrong it kills me alot having to leave them especially if one of them is upset, but i know they settle quickly. I know in long run it is better for us all to provide better financial stability.

Ive just learnt to be super organised. As much as i would like to rest when kids are in bed i tend to do housework in evenings on the days i work. Doing this enables me to have freedom on my days off do what i want with the children, rather than thinking i have this that and the other to do. its just keeping on top of it all.

Top tip, is prepare everything the night before for the next day.

I jobshare so means 4 weeks over the year i have to work five days, it pretty much turns our routine upside down.

I would definantly challenge there decision if you think it is possible. Maybe give it a whirl, if it doesnt seem to working out then take it from there.
How many days are your hours spread across??

galvanizersbaby

Hello OP

I went back to work fulltime when my 2 kids were tiny and was a single parent for a good proportion of that time.

It can be done if you are well organised.
Also helps if you have some other form of childcare other than your usual paid childcare for when your child is sick/can't attend (could your mum help?)

I tend to do my food shopping on my lunchbreaks and occasional evening housework but the majority gets done on a Saturday morning.

My two are 8 and 6 now and we have all survived

jfdi

Of course it's do-able!

My DS is 23 now, but I had to go back F/T when he was 6 months old (less Mat Leave back then).

My OH worked really weird hours & I was on flexi, so I got a f/t childminder en route between home & work. Very occassionally OH could help with drop off, pick up - but not often.

I had a few days 'dry run' before DS started in childcare - up at 6, coffee etc for me, then shower. Get DS up, breakfast, quick tub, dress & out the door for 7.40.

Evenings were in reverse. Childminder gave him a snack tea, but 'proper' meal was home. Didn't bother with much other than meal stuff during the week - although sometimes popped to library/shops in lighter evenings. Weekends were for shopping & cleaning.

The first 3/4 months you'll be knackered - but then the routine beds down & you'll cope easily.

Good Luck!