Full Time Working Mum's - how do you do it all?

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ok sorry if repeating but have not got time to read all the other treplys lol loads to do before bed time,

now bear in mind its easier for me as i only work full time term time as a general rule and part timein the holidays

i try to make the meals up for the week on a sunday (with the odd quick meal in the freezer just incase)

all the heavy items and bulk stuff i shop online at tesco

xmas shopping id say 90% is done over the internet and i get great bargains too

i do a load of wash everyday so it doesnt pile up.

my children have to get thier school clothes ready and pack lunch box filled so i just add a sandwich (they are 11 and 8)

when we get in from school run or after school clubs the children have to help for twenty mins tidy up a different room each day and of a weekend thoroughly tidy thier bedroom before we go out or stay in for family time

i hate housework so do as little as possible, having a dishwasher for me is a godsend

i drop the boys to school and pick them up but they go breakfast club at half seven because i start at 7.45

fold clothes straight off the line or out of the tumble dryer to save on ironing

my hubby is also a godsend he is good at housework and cleaning the car

FBaby

I started a new job full-time when my daughter was 9 months old and had to travel for 1 hour 20 minutes every morning and evenings and she didn't sleep through the nights until she was 3.... it was very hard and looking back, I think I only managed it because I was young (under 30). I then had my son, started a new full-time (but local yeah! job) when he was 5 months old, then when he was 18 months old, I separated from their dad, so became a full-time single mom of two little ones, but I too managed. You learn to get organised and do in 15 minutes what many do in 60! You teach your kids to become autonomous and participate in chores because you have no choice and it does them good in the long run. You learn to really appreciate quality time together and make the best of them. As for the children, well mine are 8 and 11, and I couldn't ask for better children. They are lovely, mature, very sociable and excel at school. They certainly don't seem like children who have been traumatised in their earlier years. Saying that, they went to an excellent nursery that followed my principles and values, and I think it is an absolute when you are a working mum, you have to trust completely those looking after your children when they are not with you.

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

Wow! So many great responses, thanks everyone - I hope I've thanked you all!

I feel much better from hearing your responses, I was quite tearful on Friday when I got the decision from work - I can see their point of view in that someone else doing the remaining hours of my job could be difficult (I spend lots of time out the office and at meetings), therefore handovers could be difficult, but having worked their 7.5 years and advising them in February that I would want to reduce down to 25 hours and them initially saying it would be no problem, I do feel let down. From what I can gather, they are also trying to keep on the lady covering my job and they seem to be working around her needs as opposed to mine.

I do love my job, I have worked very very hard and consequently earn a good salary, and have good associated benefits. Jobs in my salary scale and above rarely come up in my organisation and as lots of big employers in my region are laying people off, not taking them on, I think I would struggle to find something of a similar nature. What also doesn't help, is that we really do want to move house, we only live in a two up two down, and with LO's stuff already (he's 7 months) there is no room at all, so me going back to work full time, although not what I wanted, will allow us to do this.

I have luckily found a very good nursery which is 2 minutes up the road, and LO is very very sociable and not a clingy baby - it will be me in tears when I drop him off the first few times not him!!! So LO will be going there 4 days a week and 1 day a week with MIL (near enough MIL anyway - me and OH not married, yet!!) I still feel incredibly guilty about putting him in childcare, he will be 9 months old when he goes, but I guess this is what most working mum's feel!

Any more tips and stories would be appreciated, you've all been so friendly and helpful, thank you.

Pink Shoes - hope it works out for you at work x

penguin83

My children are 7 and 5 and I have always worked full time - I must be the least organised person in the world too! I have also been studying for a law degree since 2008 so it is possible and although our hectic world wouldn't suit everyone it works for us! xx

ManicMum

To the OP - I don't know your finances but a lot of people I hear say 'I can't afford not to work' don't actually mean that. I think they just don't want to give up certain things or don't want to economise. I would think twice about going back to work full time. I have mainly been at home the last 7 years and fit in part time work in evenings/weekends and do some childminding at home. It can be very boring/frustrating at times but glad I have been here for my kids. I will never regret that. Will you regret working yourself round the clock and missing out on things?

Not trying to make you feel bad. This is something I feel passionate about. I think there is too much emphasis on money and material goods. We are not rich - we only earn between £25-32k and have 3 children.

Hope you sort it out.

starsandmoon

I went back to work when my daughter was 7 months old. I used to be full time but went down to 4 days and my daughter in a private nursery which cost a lot at first. When she started school I dropped to a 3 day week and managed to get a Sunday job as dont have to pay childcare and she can spend time with her dad. Money has been tight at times but its so nice being able to do the school run and have time for cleaning etc. Carnt have it all though, no holidays abroad, no Sky TV, older car but my work/life balance is great. Im also really lucky that my employer is flexible. I can change my days round if Im having a childcare blip (within reason and have to give them notice).

Dora2010

Hi,

I have a 2 year old daughter and currently work 4 days a week. This will increase to 5 days in February.

I have a strict regime which enables me to stay on top things and must admit my house is always tidy (cannot stand mess!). My daughter's toys are in a large box and she only takes several out at a time. We teach her to return the toys before going to bed (with our help!)

I attend church and run the children's ministry on a Sunday and am also in a choir where we meet for practice every Saturday for 2 hours so lead a busy life.

Tips
1. Make personal phone calls (if possible) during your break at work or on your journey. This way your evenings are free for 'family time'. Also if you have a Blackberry or Internet access on your phone, send emails whilst out.
2. Putting items away immediately (however small) after using them ensures your house is always tidy.
3. Bulk cook. At present I cook chicken/fish/red meat to last for the whole week. In the evenings we only need to cook rice/pasta/ potatoes. Cooking a full meal will take too much of your time.
4. Note all events/appointments in your diary/phone and plan well in advance.


Evenings
Bath daughter, give her a meal and milk and then play with her for a shirt time before bed. Then I pack my work bag, daughter's nursery bag and hang out all our clothes. Our packed lunches are made and placed in the fridge.

Mornings
Hubby and I get bathed and fully dressed before waking our daughter to bath and dress (we wear dressing gowns over our clothes when bathing daughter!). She eats breakfast at nursery which saves time. If we are running late she takes a bottle in the car.

Housework
One load of washing every evening - pack away the following evening
Clean bathroom after having a shower twice a week
Hoover once a week and sweep several times a day due to daughter dropping bits on carpet
Dust weekly
Clean kitchen daily after evening meal
Iron on Monday morning - will change to Sunday evening when I return to work full time.:(

Remember the house will be tidier as there will be no-one home in the days to mess it up!

You will be fine and will adjust to this change.

onlyroz

I am a mum of a 5-year-old and a nearly 2-year-old, and I work a 37 hour week. My son started full-time nursery at 9 months and my daughter started at 6 months. I don't feel guilty at all, and there's not a chance that I'd want to be a stay-at-home-mum. I spent 7 years getting qualified to do my job so there's no way I'd give all that up to be a full-time mum.

Child-care wise, it's easier to juggle when the child is a pre-schooler because most nurseries are open 8AM-6PM. Once the child starts school things get more complicated because they need picking up at 3PM. So far I've been collecting my son and then continuing to work from home - but from January I'll be in a new job and I'm going to be paying a child-minder to collect him from school 3 days a week (hubby picks him up the other 2 days).

A few things to remember - flexible working doesn't just mean working part-time. It can also mean working flexible hours to suit your child-care arrangements, e.g. starting or finishing earlier/later. Also remember that your partner has just as much right as you do to request a flexible arrangement, again whether that's going part time or adjusting his hours.

If you've got a good career then keep it up. You don't want to find yourself right back at the bottom of the promotion ladder if you've worked hard to get where you are now.

Quenastoise

I went back to work full-time pretty early but I was lucky to have a husband who was pretty hands-on.

The other important thing was that I had (and still have) an employer who is pretty flexible. In the early days it was "can I come in a bit earlier and work through my lunchtime because the baby was sick last night", last week it was "can I shoot off this afternoon because the school called that the boy fell down the stairs ?". Be prepared for conflicts, and children falling sick the day you have a deadline to meet, etc. A support network/reliable childcare provider/backup system is a necessity.

Don't worry too much, it's a matter of being flexible/organised and to be able to compromise at times. The early years are the hardest, it gets easier when they are a bit older/sleep through the night, etc.

Foggster

clw1 wrote: »

I work full time and have a 2yr old and although sometimes you feel like you never stop it is manageable.

There are a couple of things that I do to help:
- Get a cleaner - a cleaner for 2.5hrs per week costs me £22 but means I rarely have to dust, hoover, clean bathrooms etc. This means I have a little more time in the evenings and a lot less stress as I only need to put away toys, clean after cooking etc and for me I hate cleaning ! I justify it by saying that working full time rather than part time covers it.

- shop online for food - I do mine at lunchtime at work which saves time in the evenings.

- do washing through the week - we put a load on every morning so there isn't a huge pile at weekends, also we try to do other house chores in the week so weekends are free for family stuff.

- I get hubby to drop my LO at nursery in the morning so I can go to work for 8am and leave at 4pm - gives me an extra hour in the evening either to do jobs or play with LO.


.

This about sums it up for me too.

I invested in a slow cooker and with a bit of bish bash bosh of a morning I can throw together a delish hot pot in about 10 mins! :rotfl: