Child would like unsuitable game for christmas HELP!

courteener

LadyGooGoo wrote: »

But you're not are you? As far as I can see, it's a couple of you double teaming one teenager.

Courteener I totally follow your logic. You convinced me. I hope you're doing Law. You would be great at it.

The inconsistency I have picked up on is the reason for getting them the 18 game is because we have no control over what he does when not with us, but we know for sure that he doesn't speak to randoms on the internet.

Thank you LadyGooGoo. Law is one of the subjects I'm studying but I don't know if I'm going to do my degree in it yet.

You're right about that inconsistency btw.

balletshoes

kafkathecat wrote: »

Primarni, do you have children? Because that really isn't what it is like at all. My son plays in my open plan living room. If his friends aren't online he doesn't bother with the headset. If children are otherwise vulnerable it could be a problem but it isn't the cause of the problem iyswim.

it can be like Primarni has indicated though - when my DD at age 8 started playing online games like Club Penguin etc which has a chat facility, I had to explain to her that people can pretend to be anything they like when they are chatting online, so she was only to reply to folk she actually knew in person (so she had to ask her friends at school etc what their Club Penguin screen names were etc). She is not allowed to use the laptop out of my sight, and never has been.

My daughter is quite a sensible girl, but in my opinion, you do have to point out that online strangers are the same as real-life strangers, and should be treated accordingly.

kafkathecat

Lady Googoo there are 16 pages of comments here and almost all believe children and 8 games = bad parenting. I am not here to attack anyone I merely wanted to give a different point of view based on my experience. I didn't expect a pat on the back but Courteener has repeatedly twisted my words (a useful skill for a lawyer) and I have tried to address this but have now given up. I have been told my mindset is based on a faulty premise I can assure you that it isn't I guess I just have a different view of human nature to the majority. I don't have a problem with that. I will now leave this thread.
Oh and by the way, I am studying Law.

Lunar_Eclipse

Anyway, Why do you beleive that my allowing my child a game is taking the "easy" route to parenting.
[/QUOTE]

I think it's because many people, myself included, can't imagine why any parent would want their child playing games like COD, ie given the choice of all the activities out there, is this really a worthwhile one we hope our children (or partners!;)) choose? This is completely different to saying 'I don't believe it makes them violent' or words to that effect. My comment is related to whether one sees it as a positive leisure activity and I assume most people honestly would not.

Thus by this rationale, games such as COD must be allowed for other reasons. Perhaps peer pressure (no-one wants their child to be the only one not doing something so common) or effectively not wanting to say no to a child (otherwise known as picking different battles.)

In reality, it's much harder going against the grain than allowing something most people think is okay. That's why one would see it as the easy option.

By the same token, I wouldn't allow my 11 year to watch something like EastEnders. It wouldn't do her any harm, but as her parent, I believe it's hardly something to encourage. She hasn't asked (yet?), but I know some of her friends do since their parents think it's fine. That is different though, since it doesn't have an '18' age rating.

And whilst I haven't seen the Serbian film mentioned, I do think sex (via !!!!!!) is a more natural instinct, particularly in males, than violence (via games) so would generally have less issue with that, than violent games which I just see no reason for.

wannabeasupersaver

In response to the OP I most definately would not buy that or other games like it for a child that age. As a parent I don't want my child to play that kind of game and as a teacher it saddens me to hear my 5 year olds taking about them. I have quite a boy-heavy class this year and the amount of them who are playing these types of games amazes me. Yes, video games etc alone does not a violent person make, but they definately influence young children in a very negative way. Ive noticed that the children who do play these games accept violence and suchlike as the norm. I see it and hear it in the games they play in the playground. It's also killing their imagination as when you talk to them about character ideas for a story for example they are unable to come up with anything that isn't violence/horror related. I know boys have often been keen on guns and the such as they grow up, but in my opinion it's definately getting worse, or at least it is in my class of 5/6 year olds.

pigpen

courteener wrote: »

Just thought I'd add this to the thread.

My friends and I have all experienced this, but it's the very first time I've seen anything in print about it it.

Does your son or boyfriend or husband do it?

http://uk.io9.com/5783056/im-an-anonymous-woman-gamer

I was howling at that article..

My OH plays WoW and has mainly female characters everyone thought he was a girl.. when they were on vent a few weeks ago they were all horrified they had been trying to flirt with him and he turned out to not be female... one of them went 'argh! Xan is a man.... argh!!' it was hilarious..

barbiedoll

I wouldn't buy my son drink or cigarettes but he does play COD and he does chat to strangers. He tells me who he's speaking to and I go and check on him, if anyone is rude, insulting or a bit weird, he knows to cut them off. We've spoken about it, he knows that there are some strange sorts out there.

He showed me a Youtube clip the other day of people chatting whilst playing the game and he was laughing because one (a woman) was swearing and insulting the other. She was getting really riled at the other gamer and as he said, she sounded like a complete idiot. I've watched him play the game, along with some of the kids at his school. He's making lots of new friends in this way, one of them came to our house tonight. He knows some of the older kids now too and it seems as though it is one of those games that has really captured the imagination of the boys who play it.

It may be violent, but boys are violent, many of them love fighting, wrestling, and being competitive with each other. I haven't noticed my son taking more interest in guns, blood or war, he is just a normal boy who loves sparring with his mates, playing tennis and football, and climbing walls, trees and lampposts (don't ask!)

My uncle told me that when he was a kid, during and after the war, he and his mates used to climb into bombed out houses, dig out what they could use as a pretend sword or gun (usually a tool or utensil from someone's wrecked kitchen) and happily play there all day until a policeman came and cleared them out. The highlight of their day would be finding something with blood or worse on it. Boys are bloodthirsty, horrible creatures! They can't go out on their own, exploring or having adventures, in case the local pervert decides to swoop. You can't blame them for enjoying a bit of gory stuff on their computers.

Tropez

pigpen wrote: »

I was howling at that article..

My OH plays WoW and has mainly female characters everyone thought he was a girl.. when they were on vent a few weeks ago they were all horrified they had been trying to flirt with him and he turned out to not be female... one of them went 'argh! Xan is a man.... argh!!' it was hilarious..

The link wasn't working for me but is this the same article - http://www.kotaku.com.au/2011/03/im-an-anonymous-woman-gamer/?

My partner played WoW with me for a while and everybody seemed to think she was a man. We heard them all - GIRL meaning "Guy in Real Life" or MMORPG meaning "Mostly Men Online Role Playing Girls".

She ceased playing a couple of years back, primarily due to work, but also due to the varying levels of abuse that can be found in that game. It is somewhat of a shame that online interactions are generally not taken into account when rating it (especially odd given it is an online-only game) as that PEGI 12 rating they parade might shoot up somewhat. I would wager a lot of parents would be disturbed if they saw the level of vulgarity and obscenity on display in what is supposedly a relatively child-friendly, cartoonish fantasy game. Red Dead Redemption would seem almost poetic and sophisticated in comparison.

pigpen

My 15 y/o plays WoW too. with time restrictions and all the parental controls in place.. rude words are filtered etc and he can't go on vent as it isn't installed or allowed in the settings. OH keeps an eye on what goes on and what he is doing and h is very well supervised.. he knows how to put people on ignore and is about to be taken on level 70 instances with OH and a couple of people he has known online for years and has met a couple once or twice.. (inc at least 5 women).. so while well above the age limits for playing we are very careful with what he experiences. He has some learning difficulties and a development delay so this is a way for him to interact with others outside of his little world. So far, he has not had any issues.. apart from this current bunch of monsters he is trying to kill and loads come at him and kill him first.. he is quite distressed! He doesn't appear to interract with anyone other than OH and that is usually to beg help or gold

He also played assassins creed for a brief period before he got bored, once the younger ones were in bed, with us in the room watching.

DS3 is 12 and has a character on DS2's account and plays very rarely and doesn't do the chat thing at all and is supervised 100% of the time and tends to just run about looking at things.. he is a bit odd.

Tropez

pigpen wrote: »

DS3 is 12 and has a character on DS2's account and plays very rarely and doesn't do the chat thing at all and is supervised 100% of the time and tends to just run about looking at things.. he is a bit odd.

Hey, to be fair, that's pretty much what I do on it. Jump around Orgrimmar on a giant cow. I left the city once... got killed by a boar... never again...