old lady next door put money in our christmas card

meritaten

dont give her money back! not unless you are sure that she didnt mean to give it to you! if she hasnt done this before then quite honestly I would ask her outright if she meant to give you £20? then take it from there!
if she did then you could take the kids out and take some pics and print them out - then get the kids to make thank you cards! I am sure she would be thrilled!
and a little hamper never goes amiss! neither does ten minutes or so now and again for a cuppa with her ..........perhaps she would just like a little company?
or send the kids round when they have a recent history project (they always do WW2) for her stories about this time? as the ad says Priceless! and it may benefit your kids too!

Wilma33

Don't give it back or spend it on her - That is so rude! Spend it on a day out for the children. Then pop round for a cup of tea and take some mince pies and an xmas card and tell her what a lovely time the children had. If the children are old enough then ask them to make her a card or write a letter. If they well behaved then take a child with you.

lor6126

wow, so many replies, here is the full story. We moved in just over a year ago, neighbor lives downstairs. House and garden was a nightmare (ours)We have spent the last year doing the place up. She regularly appeared with a spade or whatever when we were doing the worst of the garden and got stuck in, lol.
We take stuff down sometimes, ie homemade soup, some cigs if been on holiday, and clear path etc if icy, but she does plenty as well, takes parcels in and puts bin out if we away, althou we all keep ourselves to ourselves. She doesnt drink and spends all her money on her garden, but i know she only has an old age pension and no family, was never married.
Our kids are grown and we are not struggling, i think she just appreciates having quiet neighbors who would be there if needed, tho she would never ask,she would eat anyone who suggested she needed help.
we had only just met her last xmas so cards and pressies never arose.
Thinking of using the money to buy her something like nice flannelette sheets? and flowers if any left over.
We could always tell a white lie and say we bought something nice with her money. lol
Think its a compliment as she can be a right old tarter if local people rub her up the wrong way altho we find her fine.
what do you all think?

sal-ad_daze

I think you should buy something to put in the garden (maybe put it towards a bench or a seat of somekind if you have room?) so she sees it and can appreciate it, especially as she helped you in the garden.

****kara****

I 2nd buying something for the garden, how about some ornaments or pretty pots etc?

travelgran

Please don't just give her the money back. That would be a real slap in the face! Flowers or a plant perhaps/

Counting_Pennies_2

That is so sweet of the lady to give you the money. Often people just don't know what to get, and so pop in some money in a card.

I would definitely say get her a gift, not out of guilt, but as a way of setting a small tradition between you both. A nice plant sounds a lovely idea, especially as she is in to gardening. Really not sure about your flannelette sheets idea, that is more a house warming gift than a nice present. I would be horrified if I received sheets as a gift from anyone other than my mother in law.

I would say she sounds somewhat lonely. I wonder if something nice to look at, or chocolates to chomp on would be better.

Perhaps in the late spring when the weather is better you could invite her to join you for afternoon tea in the garden you have both been so bonded over. A nice pot of tea and a cake to cut and share might be a nice way to keep the friendship and help her out spending some time with her without it looking like charity.

Broomstick

I immediately thought 'something for the garden' too. Do her windows overlook your garden? How about a bird table or some quick fruiting bushes, then she could see them and share in the enjoyment too (or help you eat the fruit). Another thought is, why don't you ask her to come to a biggish garden centre with you to help you choose something, then you could always treat her to some tea and cake with it?

B x

pupsicola

If you use that money to buy her a gift it may be tricky when she asks you what you spent the money on.

Its hard to get the tone right on these forums, when you cant speak to someone face to face. But are you sure she cant afford it? I would accept her gift and whatever you do with it send a thank you card. Buy her a nice gift and card and just continue being a good neighbour

ailuro2

When you see her I'd thank her to her face, and tell her what you're going to buy with it - maybe a bird house that would be educational for the kids, and that she would maybe enjoy too, if she's able to see your garden too?:)