old lady next door put money in our christmas card

lor6126

as above, advice needed, we cant take £20 from a pensioner, no matter how skint lol, but what can we do without offending her. Shes very proud, if i take it back i dont think she will be very happy with us. any ideas welcome.

GlasweJen

Hmm, a difficult one. Could you use the money to make a hamper of winter food essentials to give her as a gift, preferably stuff you know she uses?

laurenjs88

Maybe buy her a present with the money? then she'll be getting it back without realising?

gingin_2

Why give it back if she wanted to give it to you and you know she would be offended?

Do you have children? I'd take them out with the money and then get them to write and hand deliver her a nice thank you card/ note/ picture.

You must be a good neighour

skintbuthappy81

Personally I would keep it as she has given it to you for a reason and would maybe be offended if you try and give it back. Do you buy her a gift? if not then why not buy her something in return, it doesn't have to be expensive just a nice gesture.

jamespir

id send her a card with the 20 quid back in it

Tropez

I would echo the suggestions here - buy her a present with it or make up a hamper. Taking the kids out with it and getting them to write a thank you card is also a fantastic idea as it might bring her joy to see that her gift has brought some joy to your family.

katieclampet

No disrespect, but just because she is old, doesnt mean she is poor. She maybe has lots of money, and is kind, and likes your family. Rather then buy you something, she maybe just wanted you to treat yourself. Buy her a small gift back. She sounds a lovely neighbour

katie

aeb_2

Do you do things for her which she appreciates? Maybe it's her way of saying thank you

Is there anything you can do for her in return in the New Year?
Shopping
Gardening, cutting the lawn, weeding
Taking her to the doctors or collecting prescriptions, hairdressers, etc
Hedge trimming
Give her 'extra' fruit or veg if it's 2 for 1 and you don't need it

Little things to do but she would be grateful

Mojisola

katieclampet wrote: »

No disrespect, but just because she is old, doesnt mean she is poor. She maybe has lots of money, and is kind, and likes your family. Rather then buy you something, she maybe just wanted you to treat yourself. Buy her a small gift back. She sounds a lovely neighbour

katie

I'd second this. She may have a good income of her own; she may have inherited some money.

Unless you know for sure that she can't afford it, don't upset her by trying to give it back!

pinkclouds

You can't give it back because you *will* offend her and it would be awful to cause her such upset.

I agree the best resolution is to give a gift in return - but definitely not money. Also, if you don't already do so, there are various kind neighbourly acts that can be done e.g. digging up weeds in her garden, clearing her drive/path when it snows, etc.