old lady next door put money in our christmas card

ERICS_MUM

I would keep it, thank her nicely and then tell her what you have spent the money on (not too frivolous but so she knows you enjoyed a treat). A small gift for her would be nice - bake her some cakes/biscuits and wrap them in festive paper or a cake tin. Hyacinth in a pot to scent her home, scented candle, small box of posh chocs etc. If you have young children perhaps they could make a christmas card and thank you letter for her.

Errata

Knock on her door and tell her you got a nice surprise when you opened her card, but did she mean the £20 to go with someone else's card she was sending out?
If you didn't get £20 last year, and the year before, and feel you have done nothing to deserve it, then it looks like it's out of character for her and could well be a mistake.

tiamai_d

My wee old neighbour used to do the same. We would take the kids out for a nice walk, buy a hot chocolate and a scone or cake, make a day of it. Then write a letter to tell her what we had done. At Christmas we gave her a mini hamper of early grey tea bags, shortbread, tunnocks tea cakes etc. She passed away a few years ago and her neice came in to tell us that she had kept the letters! I used to feel bad keeping the money but if she kept the letters then I like to think that she got some enjoyment from it. I know she never had any family of her own and she did enjoy seeing the boys playing outside.

BitterAndTwisted

Accept her very generous gift graciously. Please don't return it as that would be very rude indeed. If you wanted to return the compliment a small gift would be appropriate but if she lives alone why not invite her round for tea to present her with her little gift?

zaksmum

jamespir wrote: »

id send her a card with the 20 quid back in it

Definitely send her a card with the £20 in it. Maybe in different notes? Like say 2 £10 notes if she sent you 1 £20 note, or 4 fivers?

Or a shop card (tesco, Asda or whatever) with £20 credit on?

After all, it's no different from ordinary present buying really, is it?

My grandsons often get asked to kids birthday parties where it's the done thing to put £10 in a card for the birthday kid...and God help the mother who doesn't put £10 in YOUR kid's birthday card in return:D:D:D!!

digitalphase

Aww what a lovely thing for her to do, you must be a good neighbour

I'd put together a Christmas hamper; bottle of wine, chocolates, biscuits, fruit, sweets etc for her to thank her

rak2

I agree with the ideas to give her a small gift of things she would use and if you have kids do something with the money and get them to write a letter.

Years ago I got quite a few free tickets to the Millennium Dome and I gave some to someone I didn't know that well, but she said she'd use them.

Later I got hand drawn cards from all three of her children (whom I'd never met) thanking me and it seemed like they had a great time.
I was really touched by that and still have the cards.
I think your neighbour would love something like that.

I also think that she wouldn't have put the money in the card if she hadn't wanted to give it.

esmf73

i'd either get her a hamper of yummy things - or give her a book of promises (you can do both). 12 promises - mow the lawn, afternoon tea, shopping trip to local supermarket etc. Very touching.

mackemdave

tiamai_d wrote: »

My wee old neighbour used to do the same. We would take the kids out for a nice walk, buy a hot chocolate and a scone or cake, make a day of it. Then write a letter to tell her what we had done. At Christmas we gave her a mini hamper of early grey tea bags, shortbread, tunnocks tea cakes etc. She passed away a few years ago and her neice came in to tell us that she had kept the letters! I used to feel bad keeping the money but if she kept the letters then I like to think that she got some enjoyment from it. I know she never had any family of her own and she did enjoy seeing the boys playing outside.

Very touching...got some grit in my eye while reading it;);)

Brighton_belle

please don't give it back or spend it all on a gift, as that will be just as bad: honestly, it gives those of us without family a lot of pleasure and a sense of connection to life to give a gift to 'younsters' struggling or with kids. She may have been helped when she was young and is passing it on.
Allow her that happiness and dignity of choice.
I understand your embarrassment but she must feel attached to you in some way. Use it on something special, or going out and then you can tell her all about it: she would love that.