PLEASE HELP :( unsecured debt of 35k

ciscokid

I HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM, thats the point.

But my gambling problem is limited to £10 here and there....I don't understand where you can just get 27k in a matter of months to gamble...especially if you are already in debt...please tell me where the magic giving tree is....

laisbojar83

ciscokid, you dont know the OP full circumstances.. thats the bottom line. How, when, who or where he got the resources is none of my business or yours.
What needs to be addressed here is the fact that He needs help, guidance and, my personal opinion, pay what he owes. Not judgement or someone calling him names.

I hope you understand it now. I am going to bed.. this is exhausting.
Regarding your gamlbing problem, also needs addressing. A tenner here and there is just a step away from a hundred tomorrow everywhere. I really hope you can sort it out as well. Good luck to you x

And good luck to James x

mel12

This thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1090463 is for support around stopping gambling, and also has some info on tools like internet gambling blocking software.

Good luck

Norfolk_Jim

Jamese wrote: »

Yea thats right i basicallt gambled it all away.... got a serious addiction problem with it - and now its worse than ever because you cant even watch a football game without 3 or 4 adverts per break showing about betting on this betting on that its unreal.

I have no option anymore but to contact my creditors and tell them the freeze the interest and i wont be able to pay them anything for now - thats all i can do. I have no assets i have nothing to my name, so unfortanately it looks like ill have to deal with them harrassing me... but i cant give them anything!!

Anymore help i would be much appreciated for it

Jamese, listen up, I'm not at all unlike you. I have been a big time gambler in the past and it runs in my family - one uncle was a professional high stakes gambler, my BIL came close to losing his family and lost his job through gambling - I was the one who found him having attempted suicide after his wife left him and took his kids.
IMO - Gambling is evil. It's an evil industry and frankly they are not dissimilar to drug pushers to us addicts (Unless you have a gambling problem readers - you wont understand why I think gamble sites are like drug pushers and you dont need to - you carry on with your recreational punting and leave us addicts alone on this opinion please) You've already experienced how the governments relaxing of the laws means you have TV adverts inticing you to gamble during every sports programme - I feel your compulsion too - And I suggest that if your not a gambler you wont understand the problem.

Look - when we are gambling we are not thinking straight but there must come a time when you are thinking clearly

When you are next thinking clearly and probably regretting the gambling PLEASE consider these actions

1) Accept that the lost money is gone - you will NOT win it back.
I usually sing myself the old Ace of Spades song "You know you're gonna lose, and gambling's for fools"
You can not beat the maths. The more you gamble the more certain it is that you will suffer loss. When you are winning you think it will continue but it wont - over time you WILL lose. If it was not so there would be no online bookies or casinos, they'd go out of business. But they are doing very nicely - nicely enough to push their product and our drug of choice on TV. Think about it, those adverts cost a packet and need covering. The iticement to bet now MAKES THEM money = We lose money. Have a lightbulb moment

2) Consider joining a help group like GA. For sure, someone who is not a compulsive gambler will have trouble understanding our world and our problem. But other gamblers will and they dont take any BS either. Sometimes you need a wake up call and a reality check.

3)While Sane ; Contact every online bookie and casino and bingo site you can and PERMANENTLY exclude yourself. Some will do it straight away, other less responsible (huh) ones will make it a bit harder. It's hard to do - like pouring whisky down the drain - but the less sites you can visit the better.
When the madness grips you I know you can find new ones all the time but again, when sane, exclude yourself at those too.
Go to your local bookies (With a critical friend to make sure you only go in do this and go out again) and ask them to Exclude your custom as you have a gambling problem.

4)You will feel like !!!!!! after you do this. You will think you have made a huge mistake and wish you hadn't done it. Thats the withdrawal symptoms buddy.

5)Find something to distract you from the next time you feel the need to gamble - Thats why GA AA have buddies who you can phone and who will keep you on the phone till it passes. Probably, like me, you have a compulsive personality? We are at risk from things like gambling that others can take or leave - so find something relatively harmless to take its place. I go on internet forums like this one if I feel the urge and there are many others where you can eat up the hours. Also by doing the stuff advised on here and trying to help others, its helping me to tackle my debts - Which I'd add are not because of gambling - I came to my senses before I'd ruined my finances - but there but for the grace of God go I.

6)Good luck for the future - It wont be easy - I hope you quit this life destroying addiction and stay free (I'm afraid there is no cure - you'll need to avoid it forever) for the rest of your life

The people here will mostly give you good advice. Be aware that if you follow it your lot will improve - but one bender on blackjack will undo all your hard work

Remember - You can not beat the mathematics (And gambling is all about mathematics) - The more bets you place, the more certain it becomes you will lose. If this was not true - the gambling industry would not make the many BILLIONS it does worldwide, because theres a vast army of punters out there who are looking for that miracle way to win, that does not exist - so stop looking.

Kefte

Good Luck Jamese, my brother has a gambling addiction and fallen off the wagon several times. His most recent were Mobile Phone gambling sites, he gambled away about £30,000 worth of money [inherited from our late Mother], but they constantly text him and try to get him to join back up again. I understand how hard it is, and have seen first hand how quick money can be gambled away. I agree with all the posts that not only do you need to tackle your debt but your gambling problems.

ciscokid

How would any of you feel about an online casino that looked and felt just like the real thing, and had all the same incentive as the real thing, BUT you couldn't withdraw any money you won. And any money you had won would be reset every month, but whoeever was able to win the most each month would receive a token bonus to go towards the debt. For everyone else who had lost, every penny you had deposited and lost would then be split each month between your debt (bit like a debt management plan).

I have always felt that if repaying your debt was as quick, easy and as fun as depositing money to an online casino for a quick gamble, I would have been debt free a long time ago. Just stopping full turkey when you are addicted to gambling won't work, the same reason just stopping smoking doesn't work. When people try to stop smoking they get patches, they try fake cigarettes, etc. etc.. How about a fake world where you can lose yourself and get all the rush and enjoyment of your usual world, but at the end of the month, you can take comfort in the fact that you actually just paid off some of your debt. And who knows, maybe next week you could win the star prize progressive jackpot which will write off one lucky persons debt in full (it could be you!). This should keep you coming back. When all your debt is paid off your account will close and you should then be able to realise that you never paid off your debt by gambling but that you paid it all off yourself, and got to see and appreciate how much you could have really lost had you spent all that time gambling at a normal casino (all of the information on how much you gambled, how much you could have lost etc. could be summarised for a wake up call). I think a charity could adopt this model and make quitting gambling/repaying debt a bit more fun...a bit more educational (gambling shouldn't be seen as pure evil...I managed to turn my last tenner of this month into £250 and have now taken care of my kids christmas, thanks to gambling...but smart gambling (which didn't mean sticking that £10 on red a few times and hoping to get lucky each time....it was hard work and there was always the chance of losing it all...but I stuck to my own system which usually works well for me, and only fails when you start making hedging bets to cover previous losses...the math of gambling in casinos does mean you will lose in the long run, but you can not lose every time....and there is math to back that up aswell!...the trick is to maxmise your wins but minimise your losses...but simply doubling a bet on red each time after theres been 6 blacks in a row is not smart betting...the odds of it being black or red never change, its still a 48.6% chance (never 50/50, if it was 50/50 you would break even in the long run)

dantheman2010

ciscokid wrote: »

I HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM, thats the point.

But my gambling problem is limited to £10 here and there....I don't understand where you can just get 27k in a matter of months to gamble...especially if you are already in debt...please tell me where the magic giving tree is....

You are in no position to question others with the amount of different stories you have told in your time on here especially when you are in £15k worth of debt and cant afford the payments, you cant even afford to heat your home for your children yet you still find £10 to gamble with near enough every day. You selfish person.

dantheman2010

ciscokid wrote: »

How would any of you feel about an online casino that looked and felt just like the real thing, and had all the same incentive as the real thing, BUT you couldn't withdraw any money you won. And any money you had won would be reset every month, but whoeever was able to win the most each month would receive a token bonus to go towards the debt. For everyone else who had lost, every penny you had deposited and lost would then be split each month between your debt (bit like a debt management plan).

I have always felt that if repaying your debt was as quick, easy and as fun as depositing money to an online casino for a quick gamble, I would have been debt free a long time ago. Just stopping full turkey when you are addicted to gambling won't work, the same reason just stopping smoking doesn't work. When people try to stop smoking they get patches, they try fake cigarettes, etc. etc.. How about a fake world where you can lose yourself and get all the rush and enjoyment of your usual world, but at the end of the month, you can take comfort in the fact that you actually just paid off some of your debt. And who knows, maybe next week you could win the star prize progressive jackpot which will write off one lucky persons debt in full (it could be you!). This should keep you coming back. When all your debt is paid off your account will close and you should then be able to realise that you never paid off your debt by gambling but that you paid it all off yourself, and got to see and appreciate how much you could have really lost had you spent all that time gambling at a normal casino (all of the information on how much you gambled, how much you could have lost etc. could be summarised for a wake up call). I think a charity could adopt this model and make quitting gambling/repaying debt a bit more fun...a bit more educational (gambling shouldn't be seen as pure evil...I managed to turn my last tenner of this month into £250 and have now taken care of my kids christmas, thanks to gambling...but smart gambling (which didn't mean sticking that £10 on red a few times and hoping to get lucky each time....it was hard work and there was always the chance of losing it all...but I stuck to my own system which usually works well for me, and only fails when you start making hedging bets to cover previous losses...the math of gambling in casinos does mean you will lose in the long run, but you can not lose every time....and there is math to back that up aswell!...the trick is to maxmise your wins but minimise your losses...but simply doubling a bet on red each time after theres been 6 blacks in a row is not smart betting...the odds of it being black or red never change, its still a 48.6% chance (never 50/50, if it was 50/50 you would break even in the long run)

Convenient that you were banging on about needing a loan for Christmas, as your kids had no Christmas presents, and now you have magically gambled your way out of that prediciment. Have you managed to gamble your way out of not being able to heat the home your children live in?

ciscokid

dantheman2010 wrote: »

You are in no position to look down on anyone, you are in £15k worth of debt

WRONG

dantheman2010 wrote: »

and cant afford the payments

WRONG

dantheman2010 wrote: »

you cant even afford to heat your home for your children yet you still find £10 to gamble with near enough every day. You selfish person.

I forgot you have access to my bank statements and know how I am spending my money every day.

dantheman2010

ciscokid wrote: »

WRONG

WRONG

I forgot you have access to my bank statements and know how I am spending my money every day.

I believe you posted a thread stating you needed £15k to consolidate all your debts as you cant afford the repayments of them all separately.

I also believe you posted a screen print of your online bank account screen showing £-999 in one account and £0.00 in another.

You also said you tend to gamble £10 per day.

You also said your home is not heated as you cannot affor it and your partner and children have to be huddled in bed just to keep warm.