Rethinking your life....

seven-day-weekend

Stilernin, I too love Newcastle city in particular and the NE in general. No chance of us moving there though, for my husband it is too cold and dark in the winter, although he too thinks it is beautiful. But at the moment we are in Spain (full-time for five years, half-and-half for the last two), so that is our 'adventure' and then when we want to move on we will decide where to go at the time. Maybe Wales, which was actually our Plan A before we decided on Spain. Or maybe back to our home city in the Midlands but do short-term rentals in nice places!

pillion

mardatha wrote: »

I have the same problem Downshifter. I agree with all posters re life being an adventure & not being rigid - that's my philosophy too. But the problem is now that I don't know what I want to do, don't have a dream in my head at the moment ! :mad:
I "retired" with ME at 55, never once regretted it or wished I was back at work. But I'm finding it hard to find a new direction, seem to be aimlessly getting up and floating through the days. Quite happy-ish but there's something missing & I cant seem to find it.
I had problems with the OH when he took early retirement at 61 and went on pension credit. He was very difficult at first and I got him all motivated - he went back to his love of bikes and bought a Suzuki Bandit - but I can't seem to motivate meself !

mardatha wrote: »

We had the original Bonnie in 1968 I have a bike license too but wont use it again either, roads too busy and winters too long . But it's his thing, I'm still looking for mine ...

When my husband and I met over 30 years ago we both rode motorbikes, we didn't have a car, but I gave up bikes when I became pregnant. My husband always had a bike and used to say that when the children had grown up we would go off touring on the bike again. I used to humour him thinking "no chance" but the children have grown up and over the last 5 or 6 years we have travelled thousands and thousands of miles. To be honest it's probably saved our marriage. It's not so much the actual riding on the back of the bike for me, although I do enjoy that, but the amazing places we get to. He gets to ride his precious bike (a 1600cc Triumph Thunderbird) and I get to go to good places. Both happy and we're together. Perhaps mardatha you could identify places you would like to visit and then you could go together.

mardatha

yes. will do next yr !

Primrose

Important things to consider are how you will cope with your life when you are older, perhaps a little more frail, and perhaps unable to drive.
I'm not suggesting you make major decisions now, but do you live in a home that is easy to keep clean and warm, could cope with having a stair lift installed if it were necessary later, with a manageable garden and within reasonable distance of your GP and shops if you were unable to drive?

If not, bear in mind that you may need/want to move at some point, and that point should be before you feel unable to cope with the massive stresses that moving house or decluttering involves, and whilst you've still got the energy and enthusiasm to cope with the challenges involved.

Having more time and less money may mean a future change in your habits, perhaps learning new culinary skills such as cooking from scratch or breadmaking. Your social habits may change as you have time to join new groups such as U3A, Womens Institute, or take up walking or joining an exercise group, or a book club at your local library, or some other form of adult education.

Shaking off the shackles of employment is a wonderful thing if you've got plans ahead to fill your time so while you're still working, try and work out a plan now.

downshifter

I'm so grateful to everyone who has taken the trouble to respond to this, it's been great to read through everyone's experiences as well as the variety of views, all of which have helped me to focus on where I want to go over the past 10 years.

I already downshifted from my career around 5 or so years ago and now have jobs rather than a career, I can't believe that back then I was worrying about being in the 40% tax bracket - my income is now around a quarter of what I earned then! That will rise phenomenally when I become entitled to my state pension, which is one of the reasons I want to plan more, for when I have more cash in my pocket.

I've been making some short, some mid and some long term plans - these include finding either a job to replace one of my current ones, or alternatively extra hours at one of my present ones. I skate very close to the poverty line at the moment, and as rural living is incredibly expensive, could do with another £50 or so a month. I am also going to househunt. This house is perhaps just a little too remote so will look for something similar but slightly closer to civilisation. Those are some of the long, ie a year or more goals, - though as I adore moving house I may bring that one closer. More mid term, so in the next year or so, I intend to use my campervan more and go away for weekends, I've always loved this in previous years, but couldn't afford the petrol. I've decided to sod the cost, stick it on a credit card, and go away once a month on my weekend off.

Short term I'm going to lose 2 pounds a week, take 30 mins exercise a day and have a daily beauty treatment. I got that idea from another thread on here. It's brill and very do-able. I'm also going to investigate meditation a bit. Which is extraordinary for me to say as normally I would poopoo such things, or not for me anyway. However recently I tried it and found that my perspective about something that had been worrying me had changed and it might be interesting to look into a bit more.

I need to hone these and some others a bit and make them tighter and smarter with time scales etc on them, otherwise it would be too easy to not do them. And make sure they are written down. Another thing that would make life easier is not to procrastinate, especially in terms of work deadlines but have been working on that one all my life so may be beyond hope. Most of my ideas are within my own control, but there are others that could change my life, for example when my mother dies. Fortunately she shows every sign of living to a sprightly 100 (85, energetic, in love, healthy and bright at present) and along with my daughter is my best friend, but if she goes before me, my finances will change and I will buy a house, rather than rent, and give any other money to my children which I will love to do.

I hope I will be able to find this thread in 10 years time, when I'm approaching 70, or even 80, as some of the ideas would be perfect for me to think about then, but not when approaching 60.

Thank you again, please continue to share your ideas and plans, it's great!

Ds

ani_26

Hi all, i hope you don't mind me joining in with this thread. I've been following with interest, and there are some very inspiring posts, here.

I'm exactly at the stage where i've got to rethink my life, such as it is, and i must admit, well i've not really got to the stage where i can actually rethink my life. but with the advent of 2011, i've got to start moving somewhere. No year can be as bad as 2010. Because i've had no choice in the matter. I lost virtually everything i had, my pride, my dignity, my home, and probably 80% of my possessions, including furniture and a lifetime of memories. The only thing i have left, which i own, is my car.

Its funny reading about you bikers, as i feel exactly the same about my car. I may only be able to sit and look at it, soon, but at least i still have it, and maybe one day, it will give me pleasure, again. So get out on your bikes, and enjoy the freedom.


So, i too, have to rethink my life, and goodness knows where i go from here. But i'll continue reading, to maybe give me some inspiration. I too, lived in the sticks, and i've had to move away, but maybe its for the best, as i try and readjust to my new life. I do tend to think of myself as ' old ' but maybe i should stop being in this mindset, because after all, it is only a frame of mind. As a human race, we are all living much longer now, which means for some, having to work much longer, too. Gone are any plans for my early reitrement, because i've already passed the age i had in mind for my retirement.


But i've had some good news for the first time in ages, this week, and maybe it is cause for celebration tomorrow evening, because although i'm as ' poor ' as anyone possibly could be, right now, there is now some relief , as i'm being given a chance to move on from my situation, which is cause for me today to scrape together some odd change that i had and ' treat ' myself for the first time in ages to a bottle of Mr T' s cheap £ 1.50 plonk, for tomorrow evening. You've no idea how far i've come, to be saying this.


But i wish you all well, and a happy 2011, and i look forward to reading all your posts.

Nohope

mandi

Nohope wrote: »

Hi all, i hope you don't mind me joining in with this thread. I've been following with interest, and there are some very inspiring posts, here.

I'm exactly at the stage where i've got to rethink my life, such as it is, and i must admit, well i've not really got to the stage where i can actually rethink my life. but with the advent of 2011, i've got to start moving somewhere. No year can be as bad as 2010. Because i've had no choice in the matter. I lost virtually everything i had, my pride, my dignity, my home, and probably 80% of my possessions, including furniture and a lifetime of memories. The only thing i have left, which i own, is my car.

Its funny reading about you bikers, as i feel exactly the same about my car. I may only be able to sit and look at it, soon, but at least i still have it, and maybe one day, it will give me pleasure, again. So get out on your bikes, and enjoy the freedom.


So, i too, have to rethink my life, and goodness knows where i go from here. But i'll continue reading, to maybe give me some inspiration. I too, lived in the sticks, and i've had to move away, but maybe its for the best, as i try and readjust to my new life. I do tend to think of myself as ' old ' but maybe i should stop being in this mindset, because after all, it is only a frame of mind. As a human race, we are all living much longer now, which means for some, having to work much longer, too. Gone are any plans for my early reitrement, because i've already passed the age i had in mind for my retirement.


But i've had some good news for the first time in ages, this week, and maybe it is cause for celebration tomorrow evening, because although i'm as ' poor ' as anyone possibly could be, right now, there is now some relief , as i'm being given a chance to move on from my situation, which is cause for me today to scrape together some odd change that i had and ' treat ' myself for the first time in ages to a bottle of Mr T' s cheap £ 1.50 plonk, for tomorrow evening. You've no idea how far i've come, to be saying this.


But i wish you all well, and a happy 2011, and i look forward to reading all your posts.

Nohope

What a wonderful post Nohope. Enjoy your Mr T's . You deserve it :j

downshifter

Nohope wrote: »

Hi all, i hope you don't mind me joining in with this thread. I've been following with interest, and there are some very inspiring posts, here.

I'm exactly at the stage where i've got to rethink my life, such as it is, and i must admit, well i've not really got to the stage where i can actually rethink my life. but with the advent of 2011, i've got to start moving somewhere. No year can be as bad as 2010. Because i've had no choice in the matter. I lost virtually everything i had, my pride, my dignity, my home, and probably 80% of my possessions, including furniture and a lifetime of memories. The only thing i have left, which i own, is my car.

Its funny reading about you bikers, as i feel exactly the same about my car. I may only be able to sit and look at it, soon, but at least i still have it, and maybe one day, it will give me pleasure, again. So get out on your bikes, and enjoy the freedom.


So, i too, have to rethink my life, and goodness knows where i go from here. But i'll continue reading, to maybe give me some inspiration. I too, lived in the sticks, and i've had to move away, but maybe its for the best, as i try and readjust to my new life. I do tend to think of myself as ' old ' but maybe i should stop being in this mindset, because after all, it is only a frame of mind. As a human race, we are all living much longer now, which means for some, having to work much longer, too. Gone are any plans for my early reitrement, because i've already passed the age i had in mind for my retirement.


But i've had some good news for the first time in ages, this week, and maybe it is cause for celebration tomorrow evening, because although i'm as ' poor ' as anyone possibly could be, right now, there is now some relief , as i'm being given a chance to move on from my situation, which is cause for me today to scrape together some odd change that i had and ' treat ' myself for the first time in ages to a bottle of Mr T' s cheap £ 1.50 plonk, for tomorrow evening. You've no idea how far i've come, to be saying this.


But i wish you all well, and a happy 2011, and i look forward to reading all your posts.

Nohope

I'm so glad you reminded me, that's the other thing in my master plan - a few treats! My big treat, and I'm aiming for it, is an ipad! I'd love one but the 5ps in a jar have a long way to go yet but you've got to have a carrot to dangle somewhere in the future. And I can empathise with your tesco wine - I'm the sort of person who feels as if I've had an extravagant treat if I buy Fairy Liquid rather than value washing up liquid! Nearly did that yesterday but managed to exercise self discipline and paid 34p instead! So treat yourself!!

Interesting that quite a few people have mentioned their marriage breakups as trigger points for doing something different, that happened with me too, I'm still not sure why he has ended up living in a mortgage free house, taking early retirement this year with more money than he knows how to spend (what????!) and I'm in a rented house, on the breadline and never will be job-free but still - I'm free of him and that's what counts!!!

Any chance you could change your user name, No Hope? I strongly believe whatever thoughts we surround ourselvelves with, become self-fulfilling. So I refuse to think of myself as old or I will become so. On the other hand, I'm aware that always being positive and optimistic can be a tad insensitive - a friend of mine has been telling me about another friend whose husband was made redundant and whose dog died -both just before Christmas. However their house that has been for sale for ages also came under offer. Knowing they had wanted to move to France for ages, but couldn't afford it and didn't want to move the aged dog, I couldn't help blurting out that this was great, they could fulfil their dream now. I can't help it, the silver cloud lining side of things always blurts out of gob before brain engages!

Anyway, my stars for today say 'If it feels risky, do it'. Usually that is absolutely me, so will adopt it as my life motto!

Have a lovely NYE, enjoy the wine and it all starts afresh tomorrow! I'm babysitting for 6 under sixes tonight, so that's £50 which will buy food and petrol for a week - yay!

DS

ani_26

Hmmm treats. Something that has been missing for a long time. I have started on my cheap plonk, and its disgusting, rank. You've got to laugh though, and thats a huge achievement in itself, for me.

Its sad there are so many people living on the breadline. As for the washing up liquid, its more cost effective to buy the fairy liquid, because it lasts longer, but on the other hand, if you don't have the pennies in your wallet in the first place.


Change my username? Thats a tough one. Because its synonymous with how i was feeling when i joined this site, and how far i've come in this process. Maybe i should change my name. I don't know. Maybe i should now start a new diary. Maybe i should leave mse, altogether, and put this chapter of my life, behind me. But i entirely empathise with what you are saying, and now having such a negative username is self perpetuating. Its just been said on the tv, you're supposed to put the past where it belongs, and look to the future, on new years eve. But i still think your past moulds your future, your very being.

Have fun babysitting tonight and i hope your thread continues and you can, look back on it in ten years time. I will continue to follow this thread with interest.


With love and hope for a peaceful new year for everyone


Nohope

hobbledehoy.

I reached my 60th birthday in June 09 and by December had retired from work. OK money is not as plentiful, but with 1 car instead of 2, work costs etc gone, we manage OK. I took all of my pensions and with other bits and bobs, we find it works out fine.

I have no long term plans other than spend as many years as I can with my wife who I have neglected for 35 years due to going to work.
We now live a very simple way of life, and enjoy the simple pleasures.

As for me, I have taken on two charity positions that keep me busy.

Also I have decided to get back into the music industry after 40 years +. Bought myself a professional electronic drum kit, amp, speakers, & mixer.
At the moment it's just the three of us, bass, drums & keyboard - looking for at least one guitarist + vocals, though we do borrow one from another local band as a favour.
It is as though time has rolled back to 1965/70. We practice once a week in the village hall for free, in exchange we provide live music for the 'babyboomers'!! On top of that, play in our local village pub once every 8 weeks. Our combined ages at the moment is (190yrs!!). We play for nothing, just the fun of being back on stage again after all these years. If we do get a contribution, it goes to the local RNLI who do a fantastic job locally. Mind you playing in front of 100 or so is a little bit different than the 1000's we have played for in the 60's!! Plus we have guest friends that join in when they are in the area.

Bored - No not likely.
It was the best thing I have ever done to get out of the rat race.