can you help resolve a disagreement please

sarah182xxx

yes deffinately my mum/dad/ grandma/auntie an uncle etc always buy for my boyfriend xmas and birthdays and i think i would be very upset if they didnt. we have been together 6 years but dont live together yet (saving up). he buys them gifts too for birthdays and christmas which they always like and are thankfull for xx

claire1234

yes defo buy something,
even lynx or few beers - it really is the thought that counts

ive been with my fella for 6 years, since year 1 my dad hasnt bought anything for my fella
the thought would have been nice for him to be included.

whispony

Absolutely yes it shows you care and take an interest.

Doom_and_Gloom

Yes buy him a gift.
I do have to say I find it odd that you are only thinking about it now they have been together 4 years and are living together. My parents bought a birthday gift for my partners birthday (that was 5 months after we got together). Maybe only I see it as odd because for all the boyfriends I have had my parents would buy birthday and/or christmas gifts if I was with them for those events. It was never anything big/expencive though if I hadn't been with them long.

LEJC

How is your daugher viewed by his parents...does she get a card or present from them?...I think that if they are in a long term relationship it is right to acknowledge that and at least send a card and a small gift if you feel that it is appropriate.
Presents and cards ar'rt exclusively given to just family members..what about friends..whilst you may not buy them all presents its nice to acknowledge their birthday with a card why treat your daughters partner any less than you would a friend...If it were me I would certainly give a card and or small gift to your daughters partner.
Is this stemming from the fact that your husband never sends cards unless its necessary?....men and women I'm afraid often have differing views on this until the year that you "forget" to send him one.

Enterprise_1701C

I buy both my childrens' partners small Christmas and birthday presents. They seem like family anyway.

*debbie*

Another yes! My parents have always bought for my DH, even when we first met, and same for his family, they have always bought for me. My brother and his sister do not always buy gifts for birthdays, but do if it is a big birthday.

My darling mum has always made advent calendars (with small gifts in) for my 2 kids, then did my neice when she came along, and now has even done one each for the 2 boys I foster. 5 advent calendars - a huge commitment! I think one token gift for a boyfriend of 4 years is not too much to ask!!

sarah*a

definately yes! 4 years is a fairly decent chunk of time to be with someone so it's not like they are a brand new couple who might not work out.

My OH's parents bought me xmas gifts from the first year we were together and so did mine for him. The first year it was small 'gesture' gifts (xmas bottle of favourite beer etc) but by the second xmas when we had been together 18 months we were both included as 'one of the family' by both sides.

also - if you will be seeing them over the festive period an even bigger yes! There's nothing worse than someone being completely ignored in the present stakes when everyone else is knee-deep in shredded wrapping paper

You, of course, could take your decision from what your daughter does - do your gifts come just from her or from her plus the bf? If you get gifts from them both then maybe you should buy for them both - even if its a joint pressie??

youluckypanda

Definatly! I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and his parents gave me gifts and treated me as one of the family right from the start. Its helped me to get to know them and they now feel like part of my family. Equally I buy them all gifts for their Christmas and Birthday.

Fuzzy_Duck

I agree with others posters that it's strange you're only now considering giving him a present. My parents have been buying my boyfriend a present for his birthday and Christmas since we started dating, and his parents have done the same for me.

The fact they live together and have been together for 4 years suggests to me this is a serious long term relationship and giving him a present (doesn't have to be expensive) would be a great way of welcoming him into your family.