Children who cannot feed themselves

RealButter

lauren_1 wrote: »

Just because he/she can drink from a juice bottle doesn't mean he's ok..babies can hold and drink from a bottle at 7 months but can they feed themselves? Not a chance.

Slightly off topic but my baby could feed himself from 6 months. Fancy name for it is Baby Led Weaning, but basically it's holding off weaning until 6 months then only giving finger foods or pre-loaded spoons etc. My son is now almost 10 months and can eat pretty much anything (by himself) and he doesn't even have a tooth yet.

Re the 5 year old being fed though, I wouldn't have thought this was typical for a child of that age. I'm sure (I would hope) that there is a good reason for him being fed in this way.

DevilsAdvocate1

I was at a birthday party with my children a few years back. My middle son was around 10 months old. Another child was there who looked 3 or so, but he was doing the same things as my 10 month old. I watched him for a while, and felt sorry for his family.

Somehow I ended up chatting to his mum. Turned out, he was born just 2 days before my son - hence why there were developmentally at the same stage. However, he had a genetic condition which made him huge for his age - he was the size of my oldest, who was 3 at the time, yet the age of my middle child who was 10 months.

It could be the same with the child the OP is talking about. He could have giantism and have really been 3. Children of 3 wear school uniforms to nursery.

D.

LibbyR26

If the OP's presumption is correct that the child is of a reasonable age and there were no medical reasons, I too would feel sorry for the child. It must be embarassing to be treated like a toddler and I can't imagine invites to go to friends' houses for tea rolling in.

That said, I can't say I'm suprised by the post. Friends, who are teachers, commented recently on an increasing minority of school children who are not taught by their parents to sit properly on a chair, use cutlery, or ask for things to be passed to them at the table. We are all in our 30s and none of us could remember it being an issue when we were at school. Maybe the difference is that, for us, eating a meal using our fingers in front of the TV was a treat, rather than the norm.

madtrekker

While I think it was perhaps a bit rude to judge this particular child and his family without knowing their circumstances, sadly there are increasing number of children these days who are "babied" too much for too long. There were several articles in the news around September time about nearly-5-year-olds starting school with record numbers still in nappies, unable to dress themselves properly, insufficient vocabulary to express their needs in class, unable to eat unassisted in the canteen and so on. A bit sad really.

Lunar_Eclipse

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

are there really healthy children over the age of 3 using pushchairs in the UK? I saw this for myself, but - is it common?

I honestly don't believe you're asking these questions for real and so shouldn't really be answering them, but I have a real bugbear about seeing healthy children in pushchairs! It's so lazy and controlling.

So yes, it's very common. It's convenient and minimises potential moaning about walking.

My personal view is that once a child is walking, they should walk. Obviously they can't walk far, or quickly, at the age of 1. But by 2 and certainly 3, I don't see the need for pushchairs if the child is physically healthy and developmentally able to communicate (ie understands instructions to hold hands crossing roads, stays close etc.)

Shopping did take a while with my 1 year old; she really hated prams. But we had the time.

bylromarha

OP - you're more than welcome to come live in my house where my 6 year old eats with his mouth open every meal time.

If we'd camcordered every meal time leading up to today, you would see our son being told several times every mealtime to close his mouth.

Are you a parent? Mmmm, thought not.

SingleSue

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I honestly don't believe you're asking these questions for real and so shouldn't really be answering them, but I have a real bugbear about seeing healthy children in pushchairs! It's so lazy and controlling.

So yes, it's very common. It's convenient and minimises potential moaning about walking.

My personal view is that once a child is walking, they should walk. Obviously they can't walk far, or quickly, at the age of 1. But by 2 and certainly 3, I don't see the need for pushchairs if the child is physically healthy and developmentally able to communicate (ie understands instructions to hold hands crossing roads, stays close etc.)

Shopping did take a while with my 1 year old; she really hated prams. But we had the time.

But how do you tell if a child is healthy or not?

My youngest son looked perfectly normal (if a little vacant), his legs seemingly worked but as a complex autistic with severe hypermobility in his ankles, he neither could cope or walk well enough to not be in a pushchair.

He used a buggy until around age 6 or 7, by which time he was better able to cope in the outside world and the oodles of physio and ankle braces had finally enabled him to be able to hold his own weight without them giving away too much.

But he still looked completely normal in his buggy.

Edit - eldest son was out of a buggy by the age of 3, middle son we struggled to keep IN the buggy from before he was walking!

Steel_2

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Sorry, but the child was perfectly able to place other things near his mouth. I'm still wondering what this mysterious illness is that prevents people from using a fork, but not using all sorts of other things. As I said - I watched him make the full range of movements with his arm, including even sucking his thumb at one point - so there was no "hypermobility" problems there.

You clearly have no understanding of hypermobility.

My nephew cannot use knives and forks without difficulty. He cannot cut up his food and he often cannot get food to his mouth on cutlery. He cannot write with a pen. He cannot wipe his !!!! properly. He has problems putting plugs in sockets. His ankles give way sometimes and he falls over. The list goes on.

However, he can get a cup to his mouth and drink. He can hold a book or a comic. He could suck his thumb when he was small child. He can use a computer keyboard, slowly and carefully with one finger, but he can still do it.

Why does he have such problems? Because his joints, in particular his fingers, bend back on themselves when pressure or force is applied. They are hypermobile.

Anything that generally does not require the application of force or co-ordinated control using his fingers can be achieved. That which does, cannot and he is helped, even though he is a big boy.

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

It's interesting how people are making excuses about the behaviour of a British child though - including the assumption that "Something must be wrong with him". I'd say it's rather nasty to assume that someone has an unseen disability just because they can't do certain things. The only "problem" was that he was either not taught or was so spoiled - one of the two. And I'd like to know if this is normal in the UK, not having seen it anywhere else.

That's because you are making the assumption that there wasn't. Truth be told, you have *no idea* and have jumped to a conclusion and are now trying to defend yourself against a considerable number of people who recognise your deeply flawed argument - "PBS saw it, thought it and so therefore it is so"

The fact that you still persist in your stance that you are right when you really do not know the circumstances behind what you saw...the fact that many people have come on here and given you testimony that their apparently 'normal looking' children are fed and helped to eat because of a range of physical problems and yet you STILL persist in the stance that you are right........it shows the incredible depths of your arrogance.

You are the reason people with subtle disabilities are judged so harshly. That judgmental, pervasive, ignorant belief that someone with a disability must be someone in a wheelchair or someone who has some kind of obvious disfigurement that would single them out.

My nephew's life has been made miserable and tearful for years by sh*ts like you who whisper and snigger and say "isn't it awful. A bit boy like him needing help to feed himself. There's nothing wrong with him. He's just a lazy swine." or the times my sister's ended up in tears because assumptions are made about her parenting abilities. The sideways glances in cafes and restaurants. The dirty patronising looks and the disapproving look from gits just like you looking down your nose and making assumptions. Alienating her and him.

And why the distinction that it was a British child? It could equally have been one of many different nationalities, including Polish - after all we have quite a large eastern european contingent in this country and have since the second world war. I take it you asked to see the mother's passport to verify their nationality? No? Oh right... so actually you don't know whether the child was British either.

Give it up PBS. You jumped to a conclusion, then jumped on here and posted it, and have been shown there could have been another side to what you saw.

You just don't want to admit you see it because it means you would be admitting you could be wrong.

Minniemavis

Well said Steel. Absolutely spot on!!

WhiteHorse

nottslass wrote: »

Really ? I've never ever seen a 10 year old in a push chair !!!!

Yep. Go to Manchester (or if you really want to plumb the depths, Oldham). Virtually all chav children under the age of 10 appear to have lost the use of their legs.