Children who cannot feed themselves

nomnomnom

my sister still ties her kids shoelaces and he's 11... she also puts his toothpaste on his brush for him & cuts up his food.

Jewel_2

OP - busy on your business trip were you?

You see very few adults being 'fed' so I wouldn't worry about it too much on behalf of the parent, and I would just get on with what you were in the UK to do.

Jet

I have a friend who still does this with her 11 yr old, not because her 11 yr old can't do it, but because she won't eat very much and my friend worries about her, so occassionally I will see her spoon feeding her daughter a few mouthfuls before she tells her she can leave the table.

The girl is very young for her age, I can't decide if the mother has made her that way or if the mother is treating her this way because she is young for her age!

toolazy

i think that maybe they were in a hurry and maybe the kid is a fussy eater,so to make it fast they were feeding him.

jellyhead

nomnomnom wrote: »

my sister still ties her kids shoelaces and he's 11... she also puts his toothpaste on his brush for him & cuts up his food.

Hmmm .... at 11 mine couldn't tie shoelaces (his fine motor skills are poor) so I got him velcro or slip-on shoes to avoid the need for shoelaces to be tied in public. Doing them up for him myself didn't work because in year 7 (age 11) they needed to put football boots on and lace them up. The boots are narrow so there was no chance of him putting them on without having to loosen laces and open the boot as wide as possible.

Your sister might need to teach him to do it himself if he is starting high school. Mine had to learn how to tie a tie too (it's easiest to cheat by learning how to slide the knot and loosen the tie, so they don't need to untie and re-tie it each PE lesson).

He still (at 14) makes a mess with toothpaste, food etc. but he needs to practise. My youngest is struggling with his fine motor skills too, and school are making him do everything himself so he can learn how to do it faster. Given the chance, a lot of kids will let mummy do everything for them - both my boys are lazy toads and would probably still ask me to dress them in the mornings if I let them get away with it

bylromarha

onlyroz wrote: »

Have you ever been to Disney Land (Florida)? There were some *huge* kids being pushed around in push-chairs, so tall that they had their knees tucked under their chin. I appreciate that it's a long day for the poor dears, but my son managed and he was 4 at the time...

Could that be because DisneyLand have a pushchair queuing system in place and allow you to queue jump? I know Alton Towers had a great system when my 2 were little where we as parents walked straight onto rides. I remarked it was worth keeping the pushchair just for the occasional trip to AT when kids were older

eckythump

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Nothing wrong with him from what I could observe - no blowing of the nose, no wiping the nose, nothing to suggest any sort of illness. He was also talking and behaving in a normal manner, so no sort of mental disability either. And as mentioned, there was nothing wrong with his dexterity.

And I'm certain the child was at least 5 - he had a school uniform on! What was especially shocking about all of this was the eating with the mouth open - this is such a cultural taboo for us, and I thought it was the same in England?

Well firstly the school uniform doesn't mean he was 5,my son started the Nursery class of his school and was wearing the school uniform from the September after his third birthday.

My son is very tall for his age but could eat using cutlery from quite an early age.
some of his friends were well behind him but children develop at different ages.
I agree with the mouth open thing,big no,no for us but D.S did pick it up when he started school.
we quickly nipped it in the bud.

savingcaz

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I can tell you for a fact that there was nothing "special needs" about this child except laziness. It looked like he didn't know how to use a fork and knife - which is shocking!

Sorry wasn't going to jump in, does seem strange that he was being fed HOWEVER, How do you know for a fact there was no special needs? do you know this child? did you ask?

Also in the uk children go to nursery from 3 years old and wear a uniform at most school nurserys! Therefore he may of only just turned 3.

My Daughter has only just turned 2 and feeds herself but we sometimes feed her too. To see her in public and hear her speak you would think she is a lot older *although she's quite dainty and has only just gone in 12-18 months clothes*

I just don't see what this has to do though with a public forum,like i said in less u know or asked if there was anything wrong with this boy u can't know for a fact. I'm quite shocked that you are being so judgemental at something so insignificant?????? :eek:

moomoomama27

I think the OP is a very judgemental person indeed! Sorry havn't read all the replies, so if I echo others then apologies.

OP - sometimes you cannot see the disability, sometimes to the narrow minded, and ignorant it is not apparent to see if there is a problem just by looking at a child.

I suggest that in future, rather than gawping at other peoples families, you mind your own business and leave them be. They are not hurting anyone at all. Even if the child was a perfectly healthy 5 yr old, it's still none of your business how others choose to parent. As long as the child is not being harmed then I don't see the importance.

It's a bit like the parenting police, who set age limits for others by their rigid standards. Who cares about bottle, dummies, kids being fed until whatever age their parents/they deem appropriate.

lostinrates

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I think the OP is a very judgemental person indeed! Sorry havn't read all the replies, so if I echo others then apologies.

And indeed, I have been brought up to understand the test of good manners is the tolerance of others' lack of them. Thus even if there was an age appropriate behaviour or ''manners'' issue we've pretty much all failed by responding,lol.

If a child of school age were eating a meal in school uniform on a school day I would presume it is lunch, and thus if the child were school age might well be out of school for a health or traumatic reason (although on might wonder why its been taken shopping). Out of school hours I'd presume a child is probably quite tired after a day of learning and is possibly being taken out as its the only time his parents have to do what they need to, and as the child is shattered the child is being lovingly ''babied'' a bit by a parent who knows they are asking a lot of a tired child.

If a child is behaving reasonably quietly in a loud distracting place when tired from a day at school, or off school for a reason..which is rarely good news, then I think the parent is probably getting more right than wrong.