Children who cannot feed themselves

polkadot

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Nothing wrong with him from what I could observe - no blowing of the nose, no wiping the nose, nothing to suggest any sort of illness. He was also talking and behaving in a normal manner, so no sort of mental disability either. And as mentioned, there was nothing wrong with his dexterity.

And I'm certain the child was at least 5 - he had a school uniform on! What was especially shocking about all of this was the eating with the mouth open - this is such a cultural taboo for us, and I thought it was the same in England?

Nothing wrong with me (from what most people observe), but I have cerebral palsy which means I cant use my left hand (although you'd not notice unless I said so).At 30 i got married and had my husband cut up my meat...he also had to get me out of my dress at the end of the evening because I couldnt deal with the zip.

People like you infuriate people like me to an extent that cant be described.
I'd bet that you would also be the person who left an empty buggy in the buggy park because "your child was so big and independent s/he wanted to sit on a "big chair"-but you'd not think further than to "knock down" the buggy to allow someone else (perhaps with a newborn) to use the buggy park.

ooobedoo

I have seen so many threads that PBS has put the most incredible comments on, I presume just to cause trouble and stir up anger and this is no different.

Ok...I get it...Poland is sooo perfect.....why are there so many Polish in England? If we offend you so much-why not stay away.

My friend's daughter is 8 years old and to the casual observer is 'normal' but she has extreme learning difficulties and wears incontinence aids. Maybe it is because the child is lazy or maybe it's just because you like contraversial statements and there wasn't even a child but you like to cause trouble.

My vote is on the latter..............why not spit your vernom at somebody else....maybe start with yourself and your bad attitude.

Supermom

My mother is Polish and has lived in the UK for nearly 40 years, she has always worked paid taxes and never once claimed any benefits unlike a lot of the recent Polish migrants who only came here to milk the UK for what they could get in terms of housing and benefits (I have seen the polish written handbook on how to claim as much as you can whilst in the UK, believe me this exists!!!)

She would never dream of being as insulting as the OP towards another person, she has manners and unlike the OP would never make such a generalisation about another person.

The OP is just plain rude and ill mannered, in fact if he had made such a sweeping statement about a person or people of an Asian/African back ground he would be accused of being racist!!!!!

He has no idea of the reasons behind what he witnessed, if anything it goes to show just how ignorant he is.
Remember in Poland up until recently children born with disabilities were stuck in children's homes and kept segregated from society. Maybe this is why he has such a ignorant view of what he witnessed??

Or maybe jut as I have seen in Poland (as well as other parts of the world) this was just a case of bad parenting?

wilykit

Omg, so WHAT if this child was being fed - as other people have said, there may be a reason behind it that is not clear to the naked eye. And who are you to judge? IF that's how they want to bring their child up leave them to it - they're not bothering you really are they? YOU chose to stare and that is rude.

Excuse me whilst I start a thread asking if ALL Polish people stare.....

Kaz2904

To be honest, it's highly likely that he couldn't feed himself. In this country we are so affluent that we have a whole generation of children who are growing up in poky little flats. They don't have space for a dining room table so meals tend to be eaten on the knee on the sofa.
We were in this situation when our children were tiny so we tended to eat foods that could be eaten without them making a mess all over the place or we would have 2 sittings. Children first being fed by parents and then us after.
Even now my DS who's 6 struggles to eat at the dining room table because it is at shoulder height for him. Unfortunately we can't fit a booster on the seat because he wouldn't get his legs under the table. It's a poor design and one that didn't even enter our heads when we bought the table (online) as it was a set. Due to this, we still cut his food up and generally feed him as we get to the end of the meal. He will get better and will get faster but I see no problem with helping him at the moment because he's really skinny and doesn't eat a great deal. As he gets taller he will reach better. DD is 9 now and she can reach so eats better than him. She does still have the elbow issue though because she still isn't adult height!

Fang_3

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I can tell you for a fact that there was nothing "special needs" about this child except laziness. It looked like he didn't know how to use a fork and knife - which is shocking!

Wow. When did you acquire such skills? Obviously you've studied medicine and psychiatry extensively, and then worked professionally in the field for decades? No?

jcr16

i'd say it not common, but it not that bizzare. every child is different.

i stopped spoon feeding all mine about 9 months old. as soons as they could hold the spoon then i let them learn. they all ate really really well. ok meal times took a while, but they never had any problems. My youngest is 2.5 and he eats all his meals with cutlery properly and has no problems what so ever. i don't even really need to cut anything up. and also my 7 yr old uses cutlery perfectly. i don't cook tough meat, so they don't have any probs when i cook say a joint of beef. however my 5 yr old really struggles. he doesn't have much strength in his hands so find it hard to put pressue on a knife and fork to even cut up fish say . this also is making it hard for him to write and draw. but he tries and he treis the best he can ,and tries every day and he never gives up. slowly he is getting better with it.

newidentity

PSB - as others have said, I think you are making wide generalisations here and just because you see one child being spoon fed does not mean all children are. YOu also do not KNOW if there are reasons behind this. Granted, there may not be but who are you to criticise? There are sometimes hidden reasons why a child is not behaving/being treated the way you would think acceptable.

My daughter is 3, when she turned 2, she broke her arm - badly. She had four operations and was in plaster for nearly 9 months on and off. I encourage her all I can, but she struggles with cutlery because of this and sometimes, just sometimes I help her at the end of the meal because she cannot manage herself. If this comment had been made about me and my child, I would be mortified and angry. She has been through a lot and is perservering using an arm which hurts, only to be judged for something beyond her (or my) control. Oh and if you saw her, she looks older than her age and if she wears long sleeves, you would not tell there is anything wrong.

Steel_2

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

I can tell you for a fact that there was nothing "special needs" about this child except laziness. It looked like he didn't know how to use a fork and knife - which is shocking!

Well if you think so it MUST be true.

And my nephew - who has hypermobility and cannot use cutlery properly as his finger joints bend back on themselves when he exerts downwards pressure on the knife and fork - is quite clearly a lazy little git.

How do you know that child didn't have hypermobile joints? Or had just had a cast taken off and had a weak arm? Or hadn't had an operation on its arm.

I really do hate judgmental people like you Polish. I'd love to say this was a one off, but you post this type of stuff all the time.

Steel_2

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

He seemed perfectly capable of blowing bubbles, of drinking from a bottle, reading a comic and other basic things. I've never heard of a disorder that prevents someone from using a knife and fork, yet doesn't hinder them in other activities. Have you?

Yes, it's called hypermobility. Or having an operation on your arm that leaves it weak. Or having cerebral palsy.

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

It's not as if the dexterity required to blow bubbles using one of those little pots of bubble mixture is vastly different from utilising a fork.

Am I reading this right?

You're saying a small child holding up a flimsy piece of plastic and blowing on it is not much different than for it to hold heavy, metal, adult-size cumbersome cutlery and exert just the right amount of downward force (and control that force) so it can cut the food up and prevent the cutlery and food from skidding everywhere?

Are you daft or what?