Aspergers, EDs, friendships, people, and I'm lost

Lesley_Gaye

Hippeechiq wrote: »

All parents are flying by the seat of their pants, no matter what facade they present the world with, so when you have a quiet moment, I think you should re-read your post, and acknowledge what a damned fine job you're doing of parenting your child - and don't let anyone convince you otherwise

yeah, me too Allegra

I had my 2 girls at a stupidly young age and the whole time I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants and had horrible feelings that it was nowhere near good enough a lot of the time

I have no experience with parenting an AS child but I can certainly relate to that bit

Savvy_Sue

Hippeechiq wrote: »

Excellent, post Allegra :T

I thought so too: very clear, very moving, and it reinforces my conviction that YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB!

Hippeechiq wrote: »

All parents are flying by the seat of their pants, no matter what facade they present the world with, so when you have a quiet moment, I think you should re-read your post, and acknowledge what a damned fine job you're doing of parenting your child - and don't let anyone convince you otherwise

Hear hear.

also, something I used to say to mine, especially the Aspie, was "I know you don't love me, I know you think I am a terrible mother, but you know what? I AM THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD, because for you, I am the only one you will ever have, and no-one will ever love you as much as I do."

So, to each of you, remember and repeat regularly after me, YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD for your child, because no-one will ever love them like you do.

and no, you don't have to particularly LIKE your child when you say that ...

RAS

Totaly agree about flying by the seat of your pants. There are no rehearsals in parenting, whether your child has a disability or not.

Allegra

meritaten wrote: »

Allegra..........you are NOT a carp PARENT! you are a loving parent who is feeling out of her depth right now! you have so many issues in your post that it comes across a bit garbled but i think I get the drift!

:rotfl:See, meritaten, that's what my life is like at the moment - so many issues it's getting well garbled ! That's why I started the thread, actually - trying to put it all in writing is helping me make sense of it inside my own head, and you are right, identifying and prioritising the issues is vital !

The fact that so many people are happy to offer advice and support is an absolutely massive bonus - there is nothing like a fresh pair of eyes to help you when you can't see the wood for the trees....

meritaten

I think I forgot to mention in my post that my daughter has a nearly 12yr old son with Aspergers and HE was only diagnosed early last year - he doesnt have the same issues as your daughter - but HIS issues are many too! some serious some not so serious! and she went through the NT behavioural thing for years too! makes autistic spectrum kids worse in my opinion and if it aint working after a year or so (he was under the Behavioural Psych for over 5 years!) why dont they realise that it isnt Bad Parenting or Laziness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrr (thats one of my Hot Buttons!!!).
Sounds like you are doing something right! just keep calm, prioritise and discard what you cannot do anything about (like other peoples attitudes). GOOD LUCK and keep us posted!

lauradora

Hey guys,

Hot buttons i understand, I work with people with autism and aspergers and hear it all the time it never fails to make people mad :mad:

Allegra, eating disorders are very common in young females with aspergers. its very easy for 'normals' to look in from the outside and believe that individuals on the spectrum are attention seeking...again its very common.

i am by no means an expert but anything I can help with please ask

Heart_Shaped_Diamond

I am a recovered anorexic. It all started at an early age for me, and by the time I was 16 I was almost five and a half stones. I am almost 20 now, so still young enough to remember what it was like at your daughters age - despite the fact that I don't have aspergers. I'm really tired right now or I would add more to this post. But please, please, please do what ever you can to keep your DD away from pro-ana sites. They are very persuasive and if she doesn't have an ED (sorry, by the sounds of it, I think she may) she could end up developing one.

Have you ever looked at 'pro-ana' sites. Even a grown woman such as yourself could easily be sucked in to thinking you will be more beautiful, popular and an all round better person if you would lose just a few pounds. That's how they suck you in. And if your daughter is feeling lonely and in need of friends, she will be convinced it's the right way to go. Especially as people with aspergers are more likely to take things word for word.

Please keep an eye on her. Best wishes, HSD

weezl74

Just bumping your thread to see how you all are now Allegra?

Love Weezl x

Allegra

Thanks Weezl It's been a rollercoaster week, and I have been to busy and knackered to type, but we are ok atm Just grab the opportunity for a big thank you to all who posted since I was on last, and I'll write more soon x

juno

I'm aware this might sound silly, but as pro-ana sites are all about swapping tips to hide it, it might be worth you reading them to see what to look for.