O/S disasters.... let us share...

moanymoany

After reading about the wonderful and amazing slow roasted belly pork I decided to give it a go. I googled lots of recipes and distilled them into what I thought was a perfect way of cooking it.

Did it, the crackling was supposed to be a dream - ahem! I gave a piece to the dog - it chipped his front tooth. I bit on a piece and was convinced it had broken one of mine. The crackling was thrown out as I did not want to risk broken beaks if I gave it to the birds.

The meat was OK, defo not worth the effort! :rolleyes:

I won't mention the soft toffee textured marmelade or the 'very stiff' rhubarb jam and strawberry jam as they were edible and we ate them.

npsmama

Here's my latest: was diligently 'studying' this OS thread whilst drinking my coffee. Came upon a particularly hilarious post and spluttered my coffee over my laptop and woke the baby who had been sleeping.

auburnette

I had a great one in my university halls a few years ago; baking cookies. Found an oven tray which looked the right sort of size for them; happily put the cookie dough on the tray and in the oven. Checked back after 10 minutes to find the kitchen filled with black, TERRIBLE smelling smoke - what had happened? The tray I had used (despite looking every bit like an oven tray) was not actually an oven tray - it was made of some sort of plastic, which had completely melted and burnt away inside the oven. I can't begin to describe how terrible the smell was. I was terrified it was going to set the smoke alarm off and cause the whole halls to be evacuated...thankfully it didn't, but it completely wrecked the oven shelves which were covered in drips of burnt plastic that refused to come off once it had solidified...

I haven't had any big kitchen disasters since then, but I have a variety of little oven burns on my hands because I am impatient despite having a perfectly good pair of oven gloves...

Pitlanepiglet

Some of these are great, you've all had me in stitches at work this afternoon.

Hmm I think I've just had a disaster, but I seem to have turned it round

Planned to have fishcakes made with the second half of a pot of crabmeat (from Costco very good value!), got OH to boil potatoes earlier so that when I came home from work late I could bung it all in together....he dutifully boiled the spuds and left them in water, I drained them and lobbed in the normal amount of milk without thinking that the spuds had been sat in water for two hours so they didn't absorb the milk! I was left with something resembling mash potato soup, certainly not much good for making fishcakes.

So I shoved it all in a pyrex bowl, mixed the breadcrumbs in, added cheese and called it crab gratin

buxtonrabbitgreen

I have had 2 in the last 2 days. Was making stwby jam yesterday and left it too boil whilst reading a cookery book, and rather ironically it burnt. I still have the stainless steel pan in soak and still can't see the bottom of it.
Then today I went to the shop especially to buy a lemon to go in the cherry jam. Squeezed it, left it in a bowl on the unit, then threw it in the sink. So I had to use jif lemon, it worked ok though.

Aytoun27

Really enjoyed reading all these, I need a giggle at the moment.

As to me, well, I managed to forget to put the water in the breadmaker dough the other week. 'Don't worry,' I told the OH, 'it's meant to smoke a bit!'. Then I had to scrape all the burnt flour out of the pan.:o

L

10past6

This has to be one of the funniest threads I’ve read, thanks for the recommendation and to all those who’ve posted :A

moo2moo

We had builders in on a very hot day, topless short wearing builders. Unlike most ordinary white van driving builders this trio had a lovely navy blue example which was extremely hot inside. 2ish in the afternoon when it can't physically have got much hotter they retrieved from the van a ginormous can of expanding foam (the M.S.E. part of the story - economy through bulk buying). They then proceeded to climb up a set of steps and squeeze the trigger. Like a thing possessed the can exploded spraying the room and its contents with expanding foam. Being a practical kind of guy the one holding the can ran to the nearest door and tossed the can into the garden still spewing its contents everywhere coating everything in its path with blobs of expanding foam carpets, walls, furniture and builders. It also set very rapidly. One of them, obviously the one with the hairiest chest, had managed to get it into his belly button prior to bending over and getting stuck to himself.

Logic says you attempt to get off as much foam as possible from the affected person before it sets. Which is why the OH arrived home to find me standing on the drive in full view of passing traffic hosing down a naked buider (only at the point he removed his shorts did I discover that was all he was wearing). Builder is at this point very vigorously rubbing his hands around what appeared from the end of the driveway to be his nether regions. OH stormed up the driveway to be confronted by a very sheepish strawberry scented naked builder and me, and the other 2 builders, in fits of giggles.

I never did manage to get the expanding foam off the tumble drier or the windows. But I did discover that the only way to remove expanding foam from a hairy builder is to place under icy cold garden tap, hose down whilst scrubbing with exfoliator, dry and then apply hair clippers. Fortunately I wasn't the one who had to explain to his wife why he'd arrive home smelling of strawberries with a cleanly shaven belly.

FairyElephant_2

Moo2moo - I have just had to copy & paste your story & email to the guys in my office - I couldn't explain to them why I was laughing so hard there were tears streaming down my face!!! (and I am supposed to be working!!!!!!!).

I wish I wrote sitcoms - that is a scene which deserves to be televised! Or maybe the HSE should issue it as a warning about use of expanding foam LOL!

FairyElephant_2

OK - I have stopped laughing and got control of myself now......

USEFUL INFO I HAVE LEARNED IN LIFE:

1/ Do not microwave tinned potatoes on high - they explode. (I'm not talking in the tin - I do have more sense than that - I put them in a microwavable dish first!)

1/ a/ When you have microwaved tinned potatoes on high, and they are exploding - do not open microwave door...potatoes continue to explode, covering you in burning hot debris and spraying it all over the kitchen.

2/ Do not use clothes washing powder in the dishwasher (it was an honest mistake!) - the resulting foam is a nightmare to clean, and your dishes need rewashing as they are all streaky.

3/ Do not IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES spray the cat with 'catnip spray' in the mistaken thought that it is flea-spray. The cat will a/ run away and get on top of kitchen cupboards where she knows you cannot catch her, b/ attempt to lick all her own fur off (somewhat ecstaically!) c/ eat an enormous amount of catfood and then d/ sleep very very solidly for a very very long time, whilst dribbling lakeloads of slimy cat dribble.
Whilst this is very funny in retrospect, at the time it is very worrying and results in very embarrasing telephone calls to the vet!!!!!