O/S disasters.... let us share...

CRANKY40

I'm quite a cautious person, so nothing much to report. I have however been the subject of some of my aunty's more interesting kitchen efforts.

When making milkshake in a beaker make sure the lid is firmly on the beaker, or the small person eagerly awaiting their first milkshake (me) gets a banana milk shower instead (may be good for the hair?).

Also, if pressure cooking a meal that contains meat on a bone such as chops, when you realise that you have forgotten to put the potatoes in, do not add potatoes and pressure cook again. The bones go like sand, and as your knife cuts through them, it's impossible to tell they're there. Sand stew, yum, lovely.

I was also served "rabbit bolognese" by an ex boyfriends mother. The rabbit had been shot by her husband, and a lot of time was spent extracting gunshot from each mouthful.

The last two examples rate as the worst meals I have ever had by the way. I love this thread.

newleaf

Hee hee! Newleaf's first attempt at rice pudding, many, many years ago I hasten to add. I put my milk & sugar in the basin and added the two tablespoons of rice as per recipe. Tut! that can't be right, I thought, giving it a stir. Chucked a bit more rice in. I like it thick. Chucked a bit more in for good measure, and then some more until I thought it looked 'about right'. Bunged in oven and spent the afternoon shovelling excess rice into the bin and gradually adding several pints more milk. Ended up with enough rice pud to feed the 5,000.

Fozz

This is really my neighbour's disaster, they had a barbecue then went away for a week. I was looking after the house, and went in every day to check on things. It was a really hot summer, and after a couple of days I noticed a funny smell in the kitchen. I checked the bin, nothing there, thought perhaps it was the wastepipe in the sink. When they got home, they found a chicken portion still in the microwave - the microwave had to be thrown away! Felt quite bad that I hadn't thought to look in there myself.

I've had a quite scary one, set my chip pan on fire, I was just about to call the fire brigade but DH put on a thick pair of gloves and carried the blazing pan outside - I still shudder to think what could have happened to him, very brave of him and it did save our kitchen. This was five years ago now and I only got brave enough to use a chip pan again last year!

sandy2_2

Our disasters always happen at Christmas....
Many years ago when microwave oven were very new and just did basic things like cook and defrost, OH and I (1st christmas together) sat down for lunch, so I though I'd put christmas pud in MW on defrost to warm thro ... 30 mins later there's a yellow smoke drifting thro to the dining room, pouring out of MV, Christmas pud was like and erupting volcano

Next year we had a new oven with a rotisserie gadget. Put the turkey on the spit (good game!) tightened everything, turn oven on and went to the pub, returned several hours later to find turkey wasn't as tightly on the spit as we had thought and wings and legs were flopping around, turkey was edible tho, but never used rotisserie again

The following year we were having a family party, OH was helping prepare the food in the morning (should have realised it would be a disaster) He decided to use the electic whisk to whip up some chocolate angel delight, used the whisk in a small bowl on high, yes you've been there too, chocolate and milk sprayed all round the kitchen.......

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

Glad I'm not the only one who has tried putting washing up liquid in the dishwasher...only I used it as an alternative to dishwasher cleaner, not just to wash the dishes...and I also happened to mix it 50/50 with Cillit Bang...

Well I've never used Cillit Bang before (the previous tenants had left the bottle behind when they moved out) so I didn't realise that it gets foamy too...

End result was me frantically mopping the foam as fast as it came out of the dishwasher, with enough to clean not only the kitchen floor, but also the shower room and bathroom floors too (I just squeezed the mop into the bucket and voila, instant floor cleaner )

Cooking wise there was the time I decided to do some scrambled eggs in the microwave as a teenager...only I left the metal whisk in the egg mix when I put the bowl in the microwave...cue lots of sparks and bangs from microwave so I quickly open the microwave door and grab the whisk...

I had an imprint of the whisk handle on my finger and thumb for WEEKS afterwards...

Then there was the time (quite recently!) that after a few glasses of wine I decided I was in the mood for some homemade biscuits...only thing was when I came to add the flour I realised I didn't have enough...having had a few drinks driving to the shops wasn't an option so I decided to make the rest of the flour up with cornflour...

Needless to say the biscuits came out rather flat, and somewhat solid...

Skint_Catt

newleaf wrote: »

Hee hee! Newleaf's first attempt at rice pudding, many, many years ago I hasten to add. I put my milk & sugar in the basin and added the two tablespoons of rice as per recipe. Tut! that can't be right, I thought, giving it a stir. Chucked a bit more rice in. I like it thick. Chucked a bit more in for good measure, and then some more until I thought it looked 'about right'. Bunged in oven and spent the afternoon shovelling excess rice into the bin and gradually adding several pints more milk. Ended up with enough rice pud to feed the 5,000.

A lesson learnt before I even tried it - I would have done exactly the same! :rotfl:

DdraigGoch

This is the funniest thread I have read in years! :rotfl::T

It's improved a rather grim day no end

My disaster stories tend to be somewhat lengthy as it's never just one thing ....

my earliest recollection would be making saffron rice to serve with chicken in a white sauce ... only I tasted the white sauce, thought it was a little bland and decided to change it to a deeply delicious tomato and pepper sauce. It worked. The rice was fluffy, the chicken tender and the sauce was a light but tasty success - the problem? No one could eat more than a mouthful - it was neon yellow and bright pink:rotfl::p What a waste!

DG

belfastgirl23

Soubrette wrote: »

Bicarb is not a direct substitute for baking powder

Sou

I found that one out too salty scones, yum.

DH still ate them tho

I also found out:

If you grow your own salad veg they need really careful washing. Or else you get salad with added insects ...

If you check razor blades for sharpness with the tip of your finger you end up with stripes. Ditto checking electric cooker ring to see if it's still on....

Skint_Catt

Soubrette wrote: »

Bicarb is not a direct substitute for baking powder

Sou

Oh my God I never knew this! How embarrassing (I don't bake much)

JenniO

This happened only yesterday and I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong. I was trying to make BUTTER.

I bought a used old style butter churn thing which is a kilner jar that turns round and round with a wooden 'churn' inside.

I poured in double cream from sainsburys and started turning it round and round and round. So did my OH. We sat there turning that thing for nearly 50 minutes and you know what we got?

Really nice whipped double cream..................

Why did it not turn into butter? I read an old thread on here I'm sure about people just 'shaking' double cream in a jar for 30 minutes and it turning into butter and buttermilk........

Any help appreciated as to how I went wrong.



I will say that OH did make beautiful HM scones and we had clotted cream, strawberry jam and earl grey tea for supper last night......god it was great.:eek: