Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

vivatifosi

GDB2222 wrote: »

Several of you have been in the same boat, so is there anything I've missed?

It's worth checking with the adult care services department of your local council (online via their website rather than calling them if appropriate) to see whether they offer any interim help. If she's been unwell enough to stay with you does she qualify for attendance allowance, or whatever the latest version is? That may address some of the immediate care needs. One of my relatives has those dinners delivered that are advertised on TV and absolutely loves them, just has to get them out of the freezer and heats through, job done.

In my library, we keep a folder of things to do that people may find interesting and there is a couple of very active U3A groups if she has an active mind. Again its worth checking if there's anything that may enable her to meet up with more people locally so she's got more person-to-person contact.

GDB2222

My wife is very bound up with her uni degree course for the next month. After that, she'll be able to spend more time with MIL. It's difficult to arrange entertainment for her, as she refuses to collaborate.

I'll check out the local SS, alarm etc.

vivatifosi

GDB2222 wrote: »

My wife is very bound up with her uni degree course for the next month. After that, she'll be able to spend more time with MIL. It's difficult to arrange entertainment for her, as she refuses to collaborate.

That sounds like my Mum to be fair. She wants to find her own way, which is very difficult when she won't learn how to do the internet, so all I can do is tell her to visit me at work and look through things and see what she fancies. "olds" as I think Pastures calls our parents, can be very stubborn sometimes! Still, I guess I'd be exactly the same if I felt I was being told what to do by the "whippersnappers".

John_Pierpoint

lostinrates wrote: »

I followed the link to a ''test'' you put up and was interested to see I answered lots of the ''right''answers for being autistic.

Can someone put this link up again - I must have missed it.

Reminds me of a job interview where I was given a question and had to make instant decisions between two answers.

Unfortunately the questions seemed to be along the lines of:

When did you last beat your wife?

A1 Yesterday?
A2 Last week?

I asked what this was meant to demonstrate.
Got told to just answer the questions.

Didn't get the job.

It rather reminded me of the psychological experiment in the late 60's (?) where ordinary members of the public were prepared to torture a volunteer (actually an actor) with electric shocks, just because the white coated figure told them to carry on with the experiment.

lostinrates

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

When did you last beat your wife?

A1 Yesterday?
A2 Last week?

This is what all multiple choice feels like to me.


Right, went to get the visitors but they were going out with friends for a drink (ok with the adults) rather than wait I nipped home for the dogs.

Bossy asked if I'd do it again. I told her politely ''nope'' she asked why and I told her for one thing it wasn't really enough money to make it worth while. She told me how fair she was with money etc and she only gets quarter of what they pay the agency obviously thinking I was trying my luck, and then was contrite when I said that;s fine, just not for me. Then she sighed and said that she'd split the petrol with me. :rotfl: I dithered for a moment I admit.

But now there is a new moral question, the payment was ith no paper trail, just cash in an envelope. Now, that's fine (I'll declare ) but the people who took 8 and take that many all the time are getting a fair bit of cash in hand.

I hate cash.

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

But now there is a new moral question, the payment was ith no paper trail, just cash in an envelope. Now, that's fine (I'll declare ) but the people who took 8 and take that many all the time are getting a fair bit of cash in hand.

I hate cash.

I don't know the answer and I always declare, but isn't it possible to have people stay at your house and not pay tax providing you don't charge too much? I thought that was one of the Labour things.

ETA this one:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/TaxOnPropertyAndRentalIncome/DG_4017804

LydiaJ

Pastures,

You are my second Aspie cyber-friend. I learnt a lot from the first one (on another site that I don't belong to any more, but for reasons entirely unconnected with her - she was lovely). I am learning more from you.

Lostinrates is right. You are appreciated and valued here. And viva is right too. When anybody on here needs solutions for some kind of difficult situation, we need to be free to suggest whatever comes to mind, and they need to be free to explain whether our ideas fit and if not why not. It works best when nobody minds having their suggestion not taken up, but also the person doesn't mind having unworkable suggestions put forward. I think the summary is that we can never really know what it's like to be you, but we are able and willing to learn more all the time - not just what it is like to be you, but what it is like to be me, or lir, or viva, or Sue, or michaels or the Inspector, or anybody.

lostinrates wrote: »

But now there is a new moral question, the payment was ith no paper trail, just cash in an envelope. Now, that's fine (I'll declare ) but the people who took 8 and take that many all the time are getting a fair bit of cash in hand.

I hate cash.

Sounds well dodgy to me. You are better off out of it.

PS I have found a wasps' nest being built in my loft space - they are getting in under the eaves. That's another little job for tomorrow. How come all the websites are so coy about how much it will cost??

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

I don't know the answer and I always declare, but isn't it possible to have people stay at your house and not pay tax providing you don't charge too much? I thought that was one of the Labour things.

ETA this one:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/TaxOnPropertyAndRentalIncome/DG_4017804

Yep, know about that, I'm thinking especially of the ones who do it with 8 kids all summer. 11 trips I think would take them to the threshhold? there were 12 last year for this company, I understand there are two that the same core people do it.

fwiw I believe the rent a room scheme is a good idea. It gets good use of property and provides people with money. Two good things. Done well and legally. Cramming people in rooms etc is not good even if it is legal.

misskool

I need a gardener and a zillion pounds to make my garden look better. I am so behind in sowing everything and I'm invaded by stoopid creeping buttercup.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the nice weather

silvercar

PS I have found a wasps' nest being built in my loft space - they are getting in under the eaves. That's another little job for tomorrow. How come all the websites are so coy about how much it will cost??

Depends how brave you are/ how many wasps there are.

You can try and beat the wasps nest down if it is only small and not yet well populated.

You can something in Tesco for £4 that is meant to kill the wasps off.

Or you can call in the experts. Our local council offers a service and charges about £50. Private companies will charge anything upto £120!

Check your household insurance, if you have super dooper cover it may include removing wasps nests. Mine does.:)