Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

Pobby

Oh dear Hamish.Why don`t you go back to HPC, you can can get your rocks off better than here. You have just exposed what a thicko you are, or totally insensitive. This thread is talking, in the main with personal difficulties. PN has a trying time, Single Sue, about 1,000 times a decent human being than someone I could think of. I think we are a little more supportive than your constant sniping at people. Oh yes, I am very ill. Been given the sack because of it.

My wonderful wife works darned hard and is supporting me, I deeply thankful that I have a wonderful soul mate.

Fancy taking the P"£$ out of that?

lostinrates

All are welcome on the thread so long as they play nice here. Hamish proved himself nice with a kind donation to a Nice Person cause I believe.

Anyway, speaking of nice people and support, did anyone else know that Inspector Monkfish is setting up a trust for his little girl?

vivatifosi

Morning all,

Take no notice of Hamish, Pobby. Sometimes people forget when stepping into the Nice People Thread from the more adversarial debate forum that we ask them to leave their jousting lances at the door.

Pobby, it sounds to me like you are trying to deal with too many things at once. Can you step back from sister's issues for a bit? The kids don't need their own homes straight away and will manage just fine even if they have to leave the nest, which doesn't sound imminent from your description. It may not be ideal in your or your sister's eyes, but they will do just fine. Please, please, please, if you are feeling pressured financially already due to your own situation, don't feel that you have to jump to support your sister immediately.

Also, thinking laterally, does your sister have to stay in the area and buy a 1 bed flat? There may be cheaper areas nearby which would enable her to buy a 2 bed place and have at least one child stay over, or possibly three bedrooms further afield. Can she get some sort of mediation/advice to work out the best way forward?

GDB2222

That's such good advice from Viva, Pobby. You sound like you have enough on your plate without taking your sister's worries on too. You can sympathise without taking on the responsibility. Incidentally, has her divorce been finalised yet?

vivatifosi

On a totally different subject, can I ask a question of all you scientists hereabouts?

Do any of you ever watch MythBusters?

I watched the Obama special last night with DH (a scientist) while his blood pressure rose steadily. As they were testing the theory of Archimedes's mirror-based death ray he was shouting at the TV, "use a heliograph" then while testing the centre of gravity of the car that they were trying to flip I heard a lot of muttering consisting of "too many variables" "need proper scientists on this programme" and "this is just an opportunity to wreck cars not test theories". I thought it was just a fun programme. What impact does it have on the scientists?

SingleSue

Goodness knows, I only know that the boys seem to enjoy it although eldest does pick holes in it (why or why did he not continue with his sciences at A level?)

On a personal note, I finally persuaded dad to apply for attendance allowance, things are all getting too much for mum and she is run ragged trying to do all what she used to, all that dad used to do too plus caring for him. We try to help out where we can but mum is old school and sees it as something that is her responsibility and not the children's..although she is not against paying for outside help.

They need to adapt their pantry, outside toilet and cupboard (the outside toilet is not independent of the house but you have to go outside to use it...and it hasn't been used since we were children playing in the garden), to a downstairs shower room and toilet, the need rails up the stairs to help dad, dad needs a rise seat...the list goes on but they don't really have the pennies to do the bigger jobs.

I am a little annoyed that the correct follow up procedure was not followed after his strokes, they released him from hospital thinking he would be coming back after the weekend for an operation, so physio, OT etc had not been in place, only for his operation to be cancelled as his condition made the op too dangerous....so no follow up to see if he could cope with the house, or help to regain the strength in his hand and leg.

It has been left up to them to ask for help rather than the help being put in place and dad being a very proud person, is too embarrassed to ask for the help....his view is that if the medical people thought he needed it, they would have given it, despite the fact he has fallen through the cracks due to the way he was released from hospital.

His GP was shocked there was no checks carried out, no physio put in place but now says it is too late for physio or other post stroke help...so mum is left with a husband who stumbles a lot, is dangerous in the kitchen because he gets confused and forgets about taps and gas ovens, needs help getting dressed and washed and has to be helped out of bed and chairs!

The latest blow to them is that dad is not allowed to have his licence back, they deem the damage too great to his brain, so the lion share (they get me to do the awkward/longer runs) of the driving is now down to mum...and mum hates driving.

Anyway, we applied online on Wednesday afternoon...and they rang dad on Friday afternoon! We don't yet know if he will receive it (told us we should know in 10 days) but by god that was a quick reaction from the powers that be. Mum has already said that if he does get awarded it, they will spend the money on a special chair for dad that rises when he does.

And if he doesn't get it? Well, at least they tried, they have lost nothing by trying.

GDB2222

vivatifosi wrote: »

On a totally different subject, can I ask a question of all you scientists hereabouts?

Do any of you ever watch MythBusters?

I never watch that stuff, mainly because the useful content in a typical one hour programme could be condensed into 5 minutes or less. For example, if there's something about waves, they have a little rummage in the cliche box, and there's a three minute shot of the presenter with his trousers rolled up wading through the surf.

LydiaJ

Sue please try to get your mum to get a second opinion about the physio. I think it's very unlikely that leaving it so long would mean that physio wouldn't help at all. My mum had physio in hospital and was discharged with a report saying her improvement had plateaued (sp?) and no further physio was needed. A month or two later she was seen by a physio who was shocked that she hadn't been offered more, and ordered an intensive course of daily physio at home for 6 weeks for her. At the beginning of the 6 weeks, she was able to get in and out of bed with two people using a hoist, and could sit in a chair, but not a lot else. By the end of the 6 weeks she could get in and out of bed with one person helping without equipment, sit, stand and walk with a zimmer, and go up and down stairs very slowly with somebody helping (if grab rails on both sides). Eighteen months on, she can still do all those things, even though (unlike a stroke) her condition is progressively degenerative. Tell your parents about her if you think it will help.

Also, it's certainly not too late for an OT to come and see about stair rails and things. The modifications that the OT organised for my parents house made all the difference between my mum being completely stuck downstairs, or able to go upstairs occasionally if she wants to, and so feeling that she still lives in the whole house, IYSWIM.

SingleSue

Thanks Lydia, will certainly pass that along. I think with my parents, they just don't like making a fuss...although they taught me how to make one well enough!

It's the reason they have made me the executor of their wills and planning on having me named as the person to make their financial and care decisions when they are unable to, they know I will badger people and make sure everything is done just right and within the rules.

I'm the 'sensible' and 'no nonsense' one.......

PasturesNew

GDB2222 wrote: »

How old are they? That makes a big difference as it tends to be much slower in older folk.

About 80....