Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

PasturesNew

Pobby wrote: »

My wife, my goodness, if I ever loved her it is no more intense than now. ...
Then this, her partner for 40 years becomes a nutter. Yet she still does the daily toil.

All women really want ... (real women) ... is to know that you love them, to know you're not a liar or a cheat. That's it. Real women don't need money, or flash cars, or gifts... just a nice, steady eddy - somebody they can love, that'll love them back - and stick around, without lying or cheating.

Somebody that'll just be there today, tomorrow, next year, forever. Reliable and dependable.

Being a nutter's not a problem..... so long as the nutter loves us

PasturesNew

misskool wrote: »

OK, guessing from this, they found a lump or a bit not in the right place. So it's not panic stations yet as there are those that are benign.

The first thing to do is that they will schedule a biopsy where a small needle is stuck into the area and they will take a bit of the lump out to check.

The appointment for that should take less than 10 days, RING any number you get a hold on. Sorry, the NHS is diabolical when someone old gets ill. If you can't face it, I will ring and bug everyone for you until you get the first available appointment. These things take a short time.

Then they will examine the tissue and decide if it is cancer or not. Chemo is an option without surgery if the lump is small and the biopsy shows it's not too aggresive and if the doctor thinks the patient may not survive the surgery well.

If this is too public, PM me.

There was some scan, CT?, in the week - and this was the results of that. So I'm guessing that was a biopsy... there was liquid to drink the night before.

PasturesNew

vivatifosi wrote: »

Hi Pastures. I missed this bit out in my note because I was under the impression that cancer had already been diagnosed, however this is a very important point from misskool. Most lumps aren't cancer so if that's the stage your family are at, please bear this in mind.

It has been diagnosed. The word 'advanced' and 'spread' were also used.

Pobby

Firstoff, once again for your suppoert and advice.Viva is of course right.

So sorry to hear this PN.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

All women really want ... (real women) ... is to know that you love them, to know you're not a liar or a cheat. That's it. Real women don't need money, or flash cars, or gifts... just a nice, steady eddy - somebody they can love, that'll love them back - and stick around, without lying or cheating.

Somebody that'll just be there today, tomorrow, next year, forever. Reliable and dependable.

Being a nutter's not a problem..... so long as the nutter loves us

Absolutely. Pobby, your wife is supporting you through this because she loves you, and because you've loved her for years, and the two of you are a partnership. Your health issues and your job problems are misfortunes that have hit the pair of you, not wrongs that you have done to her.

You clearly want to do what you can to repay her for her love, kindness and support. Well, do as PN says and keep loving her. Also, keep telling her how much you love her and appreciate what she's doing for you - everyone (men & women) likes to feel that their efforts have been noticed and valued.

Also, remember that mental health problems are scary for the partner as well as the patient, so keep talking to her. This whole thing will be much easier for her if she feels you are keeping her in the loop and telling her how you feel.

Just do everything you can to maintain the atmosphere of "us together against the problems" rather than "me dealing with my stuff in my bubble and you dealing with your stuff in your bubble". And if you ever feel tempted not to tell her the worst bits to "protect" her, then tell her everything straight away. Any decent woman would rather face any difficulty head on with her man beside her than worry in the dark wondering what's going on and being unable to find out.

tomterm8

PasturesNew wrote: »

It has been diagnosed. The word 'advanced' and 'spread' were also used.

Did the word 'Stage' come up at any...uhem... stage?
As in Stage 2 Whatchamegotit or whatever.

PasturesNew

tomterm8 wrote: »

Did the word 'Stage' come up at any...uhem... stage?
As in Stage 2 Whatchamegotit or whatever.

Not much information is remembered/forthcoming by the old... but I've not heard the word uttered. It's all pretty much, so far, a "non event" - the sum of what us/the family have been told by the old is about 12 words. "I have been diagnosed with 'c' of the ... and it's advanced and has probably spread to ... and ...." that's all I have to go on. No idea if he was told/forgot, told/wasn't listening, wasn't told.

lostinrates

Don't know where my post went...
so here goes again.

Does anyone remember me thinking about hosting a student or two? I decided against because with traffic and times into the place you had to collect and drop off there was not going to be much in it for making some pin money.

So imagine my surprise anwering a phone to a very bossy woman telling me to pick up my guests at 8pm tomorrow.

''What?''I asked
''Your French students, the ones you wanted'' says Bossy
''Um, are you sure you have the right person? I enquired but I didn't confirm and I decided I didn't want them because it will cost me as much as you are paying to keep them and in petrol''
''ut I left a message on the phone that you were to have them'' Bossy sounds cross now.
''But you didn't check my house is clean and habitable or suitable'' say I frantically wondering which room to start housework in...its been a gardening couple of weeks.
''We never home check. Can you have them, or not?''

I'm wondering what the consequences to ''not''would be...'' Is there any where else for them to go, please?''

''No'' says Bossy, sensing a chink of hope''And its too short notice to find anywhere''

''You're telling me. OK then, 8pm''.

I feel cross and flustered and worried that I haven't been checked so that means the students aren't known from Adam either. I forgot to ask how I would be paid and when....and I'm trying to think about what to feed them at the same time as hoovering and swigging lemsip and getting DH to take electric heaters we never use to the spare bedrooms. I really feel very cross but they might be lovely or interesting people. The worst I can lose is a weeks groceries and some pride....right?

vivatifosi

Don't know if anyone is looking for a new phone, but with Tesco mobile have a great deal on Android handset (HTC Wildfire) for £15 per month for 750 minutes, 500 texts and 500mb data. Have transferred mine today.

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

...

What a hideous woman. I've been in a situation where I've 24 hours to go, 4-6 still to place - and nobody on my list that will/can take them... so, with 24 hours to go I've pulled out all the stops to find, meet and assess new takers.

As you're a complete n00b, she should have at least seen where you live.

Her systems (if she has any) are all wrong.

Do you know if you're getting boys or girls? Any requests like "no dogs" or "vegetarian"?

I threw together a database and when I got the list of students I went through matching people exactly. Some hosts would only take boys, some only girls. Some could take 2, some 3. Some had dogs, some didn't. A couple were vegetarian families. I then matched those to the list, so everybody got what they wanted.

Once I knew who was having who, I put names to the students - and produced a merged letter to the family giving their full names and any 'requests' such as "no dogs" or "vegetarian".

I'd then type up the full itinerary for the week, day by day, so they knew where they were going/what they were doing.

I then matched the kids to the families and introduced them and handed over a letter.

Job done.

Sounds to me like: [a] she's never done this before she's not up to the job.

Everybody also got a full list of all the trip dates - and whether I thought they were hosting or not for each one. Then I'd phone them 2 weeks before and drop a letter in the post that day.

There were ZERO c0ck ups on my watch!