Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

PasturesNew

Logged onto the tax return website... trying to answer the questions, which can be hard when they're not relevant or seem to be worded 4rse-about-face.

Apparently, my tax return is 1% done. So getting there!

Initial figures are showing I'm down £10k on interest income and £7k in other income. I'm sooooooo poor

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Malcolm, I echo LIR's post, only I'd say we empathize, as opposed to sympathise (some of us may well do both!)

Do you know, I dithered over that. I decided sympathise was certainly true, where as empathise is what I hope I do.




Feral cat told me in no uncertain terms she doesn't like the furminator brush today...she won't even look at me now.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

Do you know, I dithered over that. I decided sympathise was certainly true, where as empathise is what I hope I do.

Part of the job/training LIR. Have frequently been told that when advising people, you don't need to sympathise - & this can been seen to be condescending. But if you empathise, you understand, can relate, but also can maintain an objectivity to be supportive & practical in advising them.

It is all gobbeldigook in many ways though, as re-reading mine & Malcolms posts I feel we'd just put our arms round each other & mutter "I know mate".

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

Logged onto the tax return website... trying to answer the questions, which can be hard when they're not relevant or seem to be worded 4rse-about-face.

Apparently, my tax return is 1% done. So getting there!

Initial figures are showing I'm down £10k on interest income and £7k in other income. I'm sooooooo poor

At least you've made a start. Now it should flow.

I just made arrangements to pay my tax bill. Apparently tomorrow is the last date I could transfer money from my BS account to reach the revenue by the 31st!

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

At least you've made a start. Now it should flow.

I just made arrangements to pay my tax bill. Apparently tomorrow is the last date I could transfer money from my BS account to reach the revenue by the 31st!

Interest rates are so abysmal I don't bother removing money from my current account most of the time... so it's all in there. However, I've already paid up front and I can already see I've overpaid. So I will be getting some back

Having a quick look at things so far as I've complete it, it's saying I owe well under £1k - and I know I've paid out about £2.5k in advance, so should be quids in.

Expenses worked out more than I imagined. I don't really think about the cost of doing business, I just see the money coming in.... money flows out and it's all necessary so it just goes, but when you do a tax return you realise it's added up. Income - Expenses is looking like single digits left over, in fact, close to not paying any income tax at all.

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Part of the job/training LIR. Have frequently been told that when advising people, you don't need to sympathise - & this can been seen to be condescending. But if you empathise, you understand, can relate, but also can maintain an objectivity to be supportive & practical in advising them.

See, for me, I feel people saying they have empathy when in many cases they can't is presumptive. I'd like to think I can empathise with many situations beyond my experience...but in actual fact when people tell me they empathise when they just don't seem to is incredibly frustrating. It makes me want to bite people when they say they empathise about health etc when the worst they've had is athlete's foot, have no frame of reference and just ''don't get it'' despite believing they do (a lot of GPs do this lol) But....I also appreciate their good thoughts. I don't really think that many people are naturally all that empathetic. I'm not. But because I don't think its a natural thing for me I've always made active effort to try Its not this specific case....but I grapple a lot with my feelings and wanderings on the concepts of sympathy and empathy....its a sort of a pet subject to painfully explore for me...both in meaning and deed.

In any case, I feel confident in our intentions are only meant in the best ways,:) as I'm hopeful their recipient does.

LydiaJ

Malcolm. and lemonjelly

I'm so sorry for your losses.

Losing a child is such an unnatural thing - the wrong way round for the way life is "supposed to be". Every time I see late-nearly-ex's parents (or think about them) I am hit by the unfairness of the fact that their only child has died but my kids both survived the same accident. I feel so sorry for them, but so helpless to make any difference to anything. I feel helpless when I think of your losses too.

A nearly-ex-husband is different kind of loss from a child, and I wouldn't presume to guess how you feel or what will help you. I can say that being on here helped me. I could pick and choose which bits of the information I wanted to reveal and when. I could switch on or off whenever I felt like it. The people on here were "nice" (of course) to me through it. If I happened to be feeling completely different from the way I felt yesterday, then I didn't crash up against people trying to be kind according to yesterday's feelings, when actually my emotional pendulum was at a different part of its swing.

I couldn't have made the progress I've made without face to face friends, but the "nice people" were (and still are) part of my journey, and we are here for you, too, as much or as little as you want us to be.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

I couldn't have made the progress I've made without face to face friends, but the "nice people" were part of my journey, and we are here for you, too, as much or as little as you want us to be.

This, this, this.

Being able to read Lydiaj, and everyone else became a part of my journey. I learn from you. In a small way I feel ''bettered'' from just reading a lot of the nice people. Things are revealed differently online.

Its like when we say we see people in the supermarket/trains/towns and think...I bet Pastures is like that, or...oooh that person reminds me of Single Sue....though not Real Life friends...what Wageslave would say, I guess is ''I care about the pixels''.

edit: this ahas been bugging me over night...is it Viva I'm referencing with the supermarket thing? I can't remember!

vivatifosi

Evening all.

It's been a monumental couple of pages on here with a lot of people having to clear huge emotional hurdles. I don't want to say anything in case it comes across as trite, other than to say I'm very sad to hear of the situations in question.

silvercar

:silenced: