Moral dilemma - Just don't know what to do

Mojisola

Just a thought - have you been getting a reduction on your Council Tax as a single person? Has this changed since he moved in? Is he paying you the difference?

moneypenny2k

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I think you should have a conversation with him about his long term plans and what he thinks his next move is likely to be. In the context of this you could ask him if he's thought about getting his own place and just say as a sort of 'in passing' that that living with you wasn't going to be a long term plan. If he doesn't get that as a hint then you're going to have to tell him clearly that you need a date by which he's moving out.

You've been a very good friend to him, now it's time for him to be a good friend to you.

Thanks very thought provoking answer

Thanks to everyone who's responded, I'm glad to get the reassurance that I'm not being unreasonable. I'll let you know what happens when we talk

moneypenny2k

Mojisola wrote: »

Just a thought - have you been getting a reduction on your Council Tax as a single person? Has this changed since he moved in? Is he paying you the difference?

To be honest I've not told them as as far as I'm concerned he's just a mate stopping for a while, not a resident. Would have to do so if he did stop, but I'm not expecting him to.

Mojisola

moneypenny2k wrote: »

To be honest I've not told them as as far as I'm concerned he's just a mate stopping for a while, not a resident. Would have to do so if he did stop, but I'm not expecting him to.

As he's been there since June, I think you'd have a job using that explanation to an investigator.

For your own protection, you should sort it out.

gill_81uk

Moneypenny - the council tax thing could be a way to broach it - ie it's been x months now so you need to declare that he's living there, therefore he needs to move on or come to a formal agreement with rent.

Bloomin_Freezing2

moneypenny2k wrote: »

To be honest I've not told them as as far as I'm concerned he's just a mate stopping for a while, not a resident. Would have to do so if he did stop, but I'm not expecting him to.

Seriously? Does he have post coming to your house? I'd say he was a resident, and a permanent one at that.

I hope you reach a point in this situation that you feel comfortable with, in that he either moves out (which is the preferred option) or he at least starts going halves with you on the bills.

moneypenny2k

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

Seriously? Does he have post coming to your house? I'd say he was a resident, and a permanent one at that.

I hope you reach a point in this situation that you feel comfortable with, in that he either moves out (which is the preferred option) or he at least starts going halves with you on the bills.

No, he's not had post coming here. I gather it goes to another friend's place.

I am going to talk to him this week and tell him he's got till the end of January to move out - that way he has plenty of time to sort something out and I'll feel less guilty. I hope

Thanks for the support everyone.

Morty_007

you could also ask him what his plans are for Christmas at the same time....people go to family at Christmas, and he should be no exception...unless he ASKS if he can share your Christmas, or is invited.

heretolearn_2

Sit him down, say 'You are a good friend and I was happy to help you out with somewhere to stay when it was such an emergency, but this has been longer than I'd thought, and we can't continue forever. I like to have my own place to myself. You need to find a new place of your own. Shall we say you'll move out by "date" (give him 2-4 weeks). I'm so glad you understand.' End of.

mackemdave

If you are on speaking terms with his gf why not have a girlie chat with her over the situation