Divorce Help

Loopy_Girl

mackemdave wrote: »

Sorry its 5 yr seperation that doesnt need consent...Two year seperation is just another ground like unreasonable behaviour...

My mistake...thanks for correcting and for the clarification

Errata

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Whatevs....

apologies for incorrect info but the OP playing the silly wee lassie wondering where it all went wrong cuts no ice with me

and if he's going for unreasonable behaviour then it actually will be the 2 years

Sorry, you're wrong again.

There is also a requirement for divorce to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and to do this the person must establish one of five facts as proof:

•Adultery of the other spouse; •Unreasonable behaviour of the other spouse; •Desertion by the other spouse after two years; •Separation with consent after two years; •Separation without consent after five years.

desperatelyinneedofadvice

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Whatevs....

apologies for incorrect info but the OP playing the silly wee lassie wondering where it all went wrong cuts no ice with me

and if he's going for unreasonable behaviour then it actually will be the 2 years

I came asking for advise on what to expect from the divorce, I am not playing the 'silly wee lassie' and I am not wondering where it went wrong, I am aware of what I did wrong, I am also aware that no one is perfect but thanks for helping

Bogof_Babe

Just out of curiosity, what's the difference between desertion and separation? Is it only desertion of you don't know where the other person is?

Couples going through a sticky patch will often live in different places, whether or not they both want to divorce. Could someone be petitioned for divorce after two years on grounds of desertion just because they (e.g.) went back to live with mother?

mackemdave

If you are using 2 year separation as grounds for divorce then this must be at the agreement of both parties....If one party didnt agree then the grounds are invalid.....You can live in the same house but live seperate lives...seperate lives means no cooking washing ironing sleeping together for one another....how the courts could monitor this is impossible its down to both parties agreeing that this has happened

wannabe_sybil

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Whatevs....

apologies for incorrect info but the OP playing the silly wee lassie wondering where it all went wrong cuts no ice with me

and if he's going for unreasonable behaviour then it actually will be the 2 years

I'm really sorry, because I don't want to be picking on anyone, but if the OP's husband is citing unreasonable behaviour then there is no delay and no need to wait two years. It can go through now. I know that this is perhaps not what the OP wants to hear, but I hope that clarifying this will help.

Separation - you both know where each other lives and are in enough contact to sort out children etc. You are just living apart, or separated.

Desertion - one party has just abandoned the marriage, left and not been in contact etc.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/divorce/index.htm

This is a link I have previously quoted, which is the court's own website.

Quote : Must I explain why I want a divorce?
Yes, you must be able to prove to the court that you have reasons (or “grounds”) for saying the marriage is at an end. The expression the court will use is that the marriage has “irretrievably broken down”.
The court will accept one or more of the following “facts” as proof:
• that your husband or wife has committed adultery and that you find it intolerable to live with him or her;
• that your husband’s or wife’s behaviour has been so bad that you can no longer bear to live with them;
• that your husband or wife deserted you at least two years ago;
• that you and your husband or wife have lived apart for at least two years and he or she agrees to a divorce; or
• that you and your husband or wife have lived apart for at least five years

I hope that helps.

OP - Your mind must be in a whirl. You may find it helpful to keep a notebook handy and jot down all the questions that are whizzing round your mind. In moments of stress your mind can go blank, so it is as well to be prepared.

Also, I suggest that you go to the Debt Free Wannabe Board and try and sort out where you are without any financial input from your husband, in a worst case scenario. You cannot rely on his financial generosity if you do not reconcile.

I hope all works out for you.

Loopy_Girl

Errata wrote: »

Sorry, you're wrong again.

I must be reading it wrong then.

What I am reading is that if he can prove unreasonable behaviour then he can get it after 2 years.

I must be getting myself in a muddle with it.

EDIT - just read wannabe sybils post and it's clarified it for me.

desperatelyinneedofadvice

Just a little update and some more questions if anyone can help....

I still havent managed to have an appointment with a solicitor but got one on Monday, I am hoping to be able to get legal aid.

Ex has sent me an email to say that as long as I dont make this take any longer than necessary he wont pursue me for court costs...my question is if i have no money can he do this anyway?

I think I have already said I only earn 13k a year and my debts are currently outstanding at £12,700.00?

He wants to buy me out of the house as he doesnt think there is much equity in it at the moment and has suggested I move out sooner rather than later i.e after christmas, My problem is I have nowhere to go, currently I have very little money left over once all my bills have been paid so will struggle to afford anywhere. Can I say to him I was x amount and I will leave it as that? for example, I currently have his car but he doesnt need it as he has a company car? so can I say to him, I want 10k minus the cost for the car and have that as well? the idea being that with the extra money i can pay some debts off and give myself extra money each month to have my own place?

Everything he has said has been with a view to getting this 'over with' as quickly as possible but obviously if i have nowhere to go I have nowhere to go?

Also he has told me that he is using the time I asked him to move out so that we could 'appreciate each other more' he has stated that he still doesnt know why i asked him to do this but it coincided with a friends break up and it appears i wanted to live th single social life....when in fact i asked him to move out because i had found a search he had done online about divorce within the first year of marriage and i was extremely hurt by this....is it worth stating anything like that if those are his grounds for divorce?

I hope this all makes sense but just on an aside.....how do you cope with getting over things? I struggle to not text him, like this morning I found a charge for cinema tickets on our internet banking and got really upset and rang him as the cinema was nowhere near where he was staying. He is adamant there is no one else but it just seems odd that he is doing it all so quickly.

Thanks

paddy's_mum

If there isn't another woman at the bottom of all this - somewhere, somehow - I'll eat my hat!

gratefulforhelp_2

He would say there's not much equity in the house, wouldn't he? Why not get some agents round to value it and take a mean. You will be better informed when you have seen a solicitor, but don't be rushed out of the house.

As for court costs, even if he persues them, he may well not be awarded them, so big deal that he might not persue them!