Memorygirls - The Matrix Reloaded

EssexHebridean

Our deal with housework here used to be a pretty even split, although I do constantly have to ask OH to do stuff. I used to take the view that I "shouldn't have to ask" and that I didn't want to nag, but have now realised that he actually doesn't have a problem with me asking, and doesn't see it as nagging. Obviously in the past 6 months or so our situation has changed a lot in that I am now only working part time, as a result of this the split is probably now closer to 80% me - 20% him - he does things like the hoovering, makes lunches for both of us on the days we're both working, and takes the rubbish out more often than I do. I nearly always cook the evening meal, and do the bulk of the cleaning and tidying. One thing I have always got really frustrated about it his seemed inability to pick his dirty clothes off the bedroom floor and put them in the washing basket - recently though I realised that actually it was getting angry about him not doing this that was causing me more stress than just dealing with it myself. Don't tell him that though for goodness sake! Because of the difference in working hours I see our split as fair, but obviously this isn't the case in many households - it's a case of adjusting things to suit, but I don;t feel that there should ever be a situation where anyone living in a house feels that they shouldn't be expected to do anything.

Memory_Girl

UP early - thinking about the suggestion that we create a "skills bank" within the Matrix.

The more I think about it, the more phenomenal an idea I think it is.

Anyone else want to play? I will throw up a "I'll Play" thread over there and you can let us know - then maybe the talented MrF wil tell me what to do next.:D

MG

Off to have a think about how to earn 12 lots of £130..... oh yes and feed the wee one some breakfast as it sounds like he is up.



ETA: Theres a new thread open on the Matrix Nursery - get your thinking caps on.

Tescodealqueen

Was digging up the garden most of yesterday so missed much of the chatter.
Lara - hope that dinner was just a misunderstanding.


Hope that you all manage to resolve things about housework. I know that I get fed up of the clutter before anyone else so cave in and clear it - it doesn't seem to worry anyone else in the house and I get sick of the sound of my own voice nagging so I take easy way out.
I just now refuse to go into my DS room or if I have to, I give notice of a couple of days so that he does at least have a go at clearing up first.

I also know that the men won't dust as thoroughly as me, but I have learned to accept that and it makes my life so much less stressful.

After all what is a bit of dust (this from the girl who used to iron socks! - i think I have finally got a life)


Going out for the day so will check out the other side this evening

Have a good day all.

ClootiesMum

Skills bank sounds great - will have a look when I'm home from work

And if anyone uses SAS please let me know - I want to learn how to use it for work.

Claire - hop you have a better day today - please send hubby round - I'll deal with him for you :mad:

crickett1234

Well, whoever suggested the chart and stickers was an absolute genius!! I spent £7.50 in Staples and my house is sparkling!! I don't know why, but they seriously motivated him. And when I told him that whoever gets most stickers gets a reward (yet to be decided!), well he was like a whippet out of a trap! The rainbow coloured chart has 35 jobs on it (including smiling and hugging your spouse!) and all the jobs that need doing in the house. It is currently living on our dining table, but I am going to try to find somewhere else for it. Lets hope this continues.

(((((Clairewop))))) I am appalled on your behalf.

The dreaded desk moves are taking place as I type. I will be back at lunchtime!

greenbee

crickett1234 wrote: »

Well, whoever suggested the chart and stickers was an absolute genius!! I spent £7.50 in Staples and my house is sparkling!! I don't know why, but they seriously motivated him. And when I told him that whoever gets most stickers gets a reward (yet to be decided!), well he was like a whippet out of a trap! The rainbow coloured chart has 35 jobs on it (including smiling and hugging your spouse!) and all the jobs that need doing in the house. It is currently living on our dining table, but I am going to try to find somewhere else for it. Lets hope this continues.

(((((Clairewop))))) I am appalled on your behalf.

The dreaded desk moves are taking place as I type. I will be back at lunchtime!

Told you they were just big kids ... and I believe women have traditionally rewarded their husbands for cooperation in the obvious way

Hope the move isn't too traumatic... keep log of the problems. If it impacts on your ability to do your job properly (or the way you feel about being in the workplace) then your boss should care. Have you discussed it and talked about strategies to deal with it? Has your boss made clear to your colleague that your space and privacy needs to be respected? Don't forget the headphones...

ETA - CM - don't know how to use it. Lots of training (including e-learning) available, but I'm not sure about free resources. However, if someone does know, I'm sure some online/phone coaching is possible!

tellmeitsfriday

I am pleased the chart worked. Maybe you can add more things on - like extra levels on a computer game to keep the motivation levels high!!

Hope your move is as painless as possible. From what I know of university office shuffles, they are never quick, but also they never last long. I have moved 5 times in 21 months!!!!

Bitsy_Beans

greenbee wrote: »

I converted to repayment only as soon as I could afford it, and then started to see it disappear, which was very satisfying!

Yep know that feeling. When me and Mr Bitsy bought our first home we didn't earn lots of went for endowment type mortgage (only with a PEP rather than an endowment). PEP underperformed massively so when we moved we switched to a repayment as we were earning better. I get my little statement in January and I love the fact that the figure is reducing year on year.

Hmmmmm have NEVER considered overpaying it (not sure we can as it's fixed but still).......I wonder if I could convince H of the benefits :cool:

MrsMoo2U

Flying visit ladies will catch up later.

Just got this in my inbox - daily happiness project newsletter and thought of the matrix after the conversations yesterday http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2011/04/every-wednesday-is-tip-day-this-wednesday-9-tips-to-avoid-nagging-from-what-i-hear-from-other-people-it-sounds-as-tho.html

tellmeitsfriday

Most fixed rate mortgages allow overpayments. Some allow a percentage of your monthly payment extra, others allow a one off over payment each year (the best way to do this is to have an ISA and put your overpayment into it each month), others are totally flexible - where you can pay as much extra as you want, and even get the over payments back if you need them. The life of the mortgage is reduced so dramatically, because overpayments come straight off the capital borrowed - reducing interest payable on that amount for the whole term!

I took out a 30 yr mortgage 5 yrs ago - and i reckon I can pay it off in 15 years (from now) Infact that's why I am on DFW - the money saving tips on here are much better than MFW, and a mortgage is a debt isn't it

Even £10 extra a month can reduce a £100k mortgage by 18 months.