Memorygirls - The Matrix Reloaded

crickett1234

Good Morning Matrix.

Great news OO! Positive vibes for you and K for K

MG - naps are greatly underrated. I love them. I am also very good at them (seeing as I can fall asleep just about anywhere at the moment!)

I had a very successful evening last night - went home and cleaned the downstairs, whirling like a dervish while listening to my fabulous music on my MP3 player! Then i made dinner (chicken and veggie kebabs on lemon and coriander cous cous) and still had time to sit down and do some reading before hubby came home from work. He changed the sheets on the bed and took the bins out.

And this is where the evening took a turn for the worse. Of course, I had to thank him to the flipping hilltops for all his work... but did he say thank you to me? Nope. And he made the living room a mess again. If anyone knows how to domesticate a man - fast, for his own health and safety - I would be delighted to know. I have already tried living in a pigsty, having "talks" with him about it, telling him I am not his Mother and will NOT be clearing up after him henceforth... all to no avail. But my patience is beginning to wear very, very thin. I do not know where it says in the marriage contract "and the woman shalt be responsible for all cleaning and cooking and making the place look nice and the man shalt make it all a mess as soon as he enters the room". Sigh.

Sorry for the moan. Got my to do list to tackle today, and as I have a thumping headache, I don't think I will be using my headphones or my MP3 player. Hoping for a good work-y day to get things done. Then its home at 4pm to tackle the upstairs, put on some washing, do dinner (veggie risotto), feed the kittens, feed the husband, and then wait for a call from my best friend to have a chinwag and to arrange depositing the Easter bag for my goddaughter.

Okay folks. Have a great day; I'll check in later!

tellmeitsfriday

What was he like before you moved in together Crickett? x

Bitsy_Beans

Crickett - I feel for you. My H is sort of domesticated but his capacity to endure large amounts of mess is significantly higher than mine!!!! No advice am afraid as I am awaiting enlightenment to this situation myself. H is off all this week, I've not had chance to do any cleaning but have spent what time I've been at home picking up and putting away. I wanted an early night last night so at 9pm was going to bed. Didn't actually get there until 9.30pm as I washed up (H said he'd do it in the morning ) and had to go out in the garden, tidy up and get the washing in <sigh> OK he offers which is great but it's never to do it there and then.........

Memory_Girl

Change of plan for dinner ...............

I've found a third of a packet of sushi rice and an open packet of nori.

My "reward" for filling three bags today and sorting the office will be a plate of homemade sushi tonight.:j

Mmmmmmm - just as well DS1 is away because it is his favourite too and theres only enough rice for a greedy one:D

Better than Christmas

MG

crickett1234

tellmeitsfriday wrote: »

What was he like before you moved in together Crickett? x

Oh, he was much the same. If not a bit worse. I thought "I could change him".:eek: Nope.

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Crickett - I feel for you. My H is sort of domesticated but his capacity to endure large amounts of mess is significantly higher than mine!!!! No advice am afraid as I am awaiting enlightenment to this situation myself. H is off all this week, I've not had chance to do any cleaning but have spent what time I've been at home picking up and putting away. I wanted an early night last night so at 9pm was going to bed. Didn't actually get there until 9.30pm as I washed up (H said he'd do it in the morning ) and had to go out in the garden, tidy up and get the washing in <sigh> OK he offers which is great but it's never to do it there and then.........

Bitsy... sounds like your OH and my OH might very well share DNA!!! :rotfl:

I guess it is something I am just going to have to get used to. I just get so fed up of it. If I can manage to keep the bedroom floors tidy and put my dirty washing in the laundry basket and make a meal without half of it being on the kitchen floor or walls... then why can't he? :mad: Men are from Mars? If they are, then I sure as hell don't want to visit Mars cos it would be a real heap!! :rotfl:

redsquirrel80

I do not know where it says in the marriage contract "and the woman shalt be responsible for all cleaning and cooking and making the place look nice and the man shalt make it all a mess as soon as he enters the room". Sigh.

It doesn't! I don't have much advice on this as I always seem to end up with men who are tidier than me (that wouldn't be hard mind you as I'm not the tidiest person in the world, but I do try...). What worked for my parents though, when my dad made a comment that he did as much as my mum when he clearly didn't, was to write down what housework they actually did one week. They were both working full time and it turned out that my mum was doing far more, they agreed that wasn't fair, and to this day my dad now does a pretty much equal amount. So maybe challenge his thinking - why should you do more? (does he actually think you should do more or is that just the way things have gone?) Why do you say thanks to him and he doesn't to you?

tellmeitsfriday

My house rules:

If I cook, he washes up and vice versa.

I hoover carpets and clean kitchen. He changes bedding and cleans bathroom (I really don't like cleaning the loo, so that's fine)

He's usually at work on Saturday, so I do the washing and shopping. However, if I write it down he will do the washing on the day off he has on the week. He is not capable of thinking about doing this himself though, and must be reminded.

You say thankyou to them to massage their ego a little - imho it's a small price to pay for not cleaning the loo

These jobs are done properly or there is no chocolate!

Memory_Girl

Just done battle with Orange - geting out of a dongle contract (because it doesn't work) and getting a fiver off my mobile - so saving of £15 per month on current expenditure £10 dongle and £5 moby.

Off to increase the money to Big Horse Bank by £15 per month.

Its not a lot - but will help get rid of them sooner rather than later.

MG

crickett1234

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

What worked for my parents though, when my dad made a comment that he did as much as my mum when he clearly didn't, was to write down what housework they actually did one week. They were both working full time and it turned out that my mum was doing far more, they agreed that wasn't fair, and to this day my dad now does a pretty much equal amount. So maybe challenge his thinking - why should you do more? (does he actually think you should do more or is that just the way things have gone?)

What really irritates me is that when we "talk" about this, he always says that we are a partnership, we both work full time and we should both do our fair share of the work. But it doesn't happen. I once did an experiment. I was ill, so I spent a lot of time sat on the sofa. So did he. When I was better, I got up and did stuff, and so did he. So the trigger for him to get off his !!!! and do something was not that a job needed doing, it is me doing something. Which makes me madder than a mexican jumping bean.... because I feel like I can't ever have a rest if I don't want to live in a total hovel. Hubby says that "he forgets" to do anything if I am not doing somerhing. No pressure then! :mad:

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Why do you say thanks to him and he doesn't to you?

Because he expects to be thanked for it. I don't say anything, he keeps mentioning it until I say "Ooh thank you, you are so nice to me for doing that job". But even if I keep going on about it, he does not do the same for me. I suspect that is something about how he was raised. :cool::mad:

MrsMoo2U

Morning all and happy decluttering to all that are carrying on.
Raining here and another day working from home.
Crickett, sorry if this sounds blunt but perhaps you OH needs the thanks to be motivated whereas he can see that you just get on and do. If he goes on at you to say thanks then it is obviously important to him. It seems to be important to you too so why dont you try turning the tables and every time you do a job tell him what you have done, how long it took you and be blunt say straight out to him, if you had done that I would say thanks! Or alternatively say to him "do you like it when I say thank you for doing a job " - just after you say thank you - then tell him that you would like it too so could he have a think about it. Most men think very differently from us and they cant read our minds (much as we would like them to) they need telling and I think they appreciate having things pointed out to us. Worth a try?