When to stop going "home" for christmas?

Amethyst_ice

Hmmm evn more things for though im glad it is maybe helping people to share their experiences

Tonight there have been more developments in the family back home and not being nasty to them all but theres a lot of pressure on me to "fix everything" which is just making me want to have an enjoyable time for me this year. Since i was 12 and my parents divorced ive had to grow up quickly and be the mature one who fixes all the problems.

I think i will prehaps have it hear and try go home a few days after- saying that it will spread the holiday out for longer out of all of it though- i miss my fmaily doggy! Never have any quibbles with him on xmas day lol

id quite like a bash at making xmas dinner myself but i guess as ive not been round my bfs fam at xmas n he came xmas day night i should go...we'll see eh.

im liking hearing everyones stories by the way, thanks everyone, again xxxx

Tamster150

we did Lunch/day at my parents
evening at his parents
every year till we had children :rotfl:
but we would of loved to have stayed at home on our own!

Now my parents come to us Christmas Day & we do inlaws on Boxing Day.:T

ToNik

I have been living with my DH for 6 years(married this year)and for the first 3 years spent christmas apart. Me and LO from previous relationship went 'home' and I loved it. I have a huge family and couldnt imagine not seeing them. DH has a VERY controlling mother and just couldnt say no to her at xmas but there was no way me an LO were going.
In 08 he had an accident that prevented him from travelling at xmas so he had it with my family and couldnt believe how happy and fun xmas could actually be. MIL was not amused!! So last year he went down to see her on xmas day after spending morning with us and kiddys even though it was new babys first xmas.
This year as I will be 39 weeks pregnant there will be us 4, my mum dad 2 brothers older brothers wife and their son all round our house for xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day, I have been really really excited about the arrangements for weeks until reading this thread I realised we haven't informed MIL of plans yet. She is going to be livid and im starting to panic!!!


Oh my I seem to have rambled some what sorry!!

Amethyst_ice

hahaha its ok, not rambling!

Well ive decided what im doing-

me and my bf are going to spend christmas in our house Ive told my mum and she took it pretty well actually. I said i would probably try go home 27th for a few days.

I havnt told my teenage sister yet- dreading that a bit but going to focus on "spreading christmas out" and making it last longer!

Not sure plans for food..bf would like us to go to his sisters where his mum will be for food but i quite fancy having a go at cooking...but at least the location is sorted. Im a little nervous but looking forward to a lie in- i always have my ssiblings pulling me out of bed at 6am!

twirlypinky

always an issue in my family. We row every year and non of us want to go, but we all feel we have to. Once i have my own small people I'll be going no where on crimbo day - end of!

podperson

I have bitten the bullet and decided will stay home for xmas. OH actually looked a bit panicked when I told him, think he is expecting me to want to have massive plans for the day but just want to be able to have a quiet chilled out day rather then having to travel xmas eve, have a rushed, manic weekend and not get to see OH on xmas day as we can't both be away that long as we have no one to watch the pets. Instead will be travelling down on 27th to stop with parents, will try and talk them into having a 'fake' xmas then plus seeing friends for a mini get-together on the 28th - when I probably wouldn't have had time to see them over actual xmas since would all be with their own families.
Have to tell my mum tonight though and I know she's going to make me feel bad about it, she doesn't mean to but she makes a big deal out xmas and has said before she would be upset if I wasn't there. Am considering telling a little white lie and saying that I won't finish work until xmas eve so would struggle to get down on the train. Is this bad?

Amethyst_ice

podperson- sounds like you have decided to do exactly what i am going to do

dont lie, i just said that my bf has only christmas and boxing day off..we dont want to waste that by traveling 3 plus hours, nno1 to watch the pets and not happy leaving them alone..and will make christmas last longer coming home on 27th...go for it..i did and its not as bad as i expected! x

pupsicola

Been there, done that.

The first time I told my folks that my partner and I were having Xmas by ourselves they were not happy. They tried all sorts to make me feel guilty and try to change my mind.

Thing is you are an adult, living your own life, in your own place.
You dont need their permission to do what you want at Xmas.

If you put it to them the right way and sound assertive enough they may just accept it without too much hassle.

lizalloareds

We have Christmas at home and love it, used to go to my family or Oh family year about but you do get resentful having to drag the kids out, having Mum and Mil this year

RebekahR

We take it in turns. First year everyone at our house and then the next year we go to the inlaws. My side of the family come to us on the same year as the inlaws. They all have small houses so couldn't fit all of us in!One side of my family we wont see at christmas due family break ups our side.