When to stop going "home" for christmas?

Raini

I moved out of home when I was 19 and haven't been back for Christmas Day since and that was 8 years ago! It's mainly because they live in Birmingham and I live in Essex so the logistics of being with them would be difficult with OH & my work etc and we aren't a terribly close family. The last couple of years we've seen my family the weekend before Christmas and had 'Fake Christmas'! Which is actually really fun, we go out for a meal somewhere (so no-one has to cook) and then give silly little secret Santa token gifts to open then and wear silly hats or Rudolf masks etc! Christmas Day is just me & OH & the puppy, Boxing Day is spent with MiL2B, and the day after is spent with FiL2B and OH's step mom. My MiL2B works on Christmas Day and has for the last 20 years, I think next year she won't so we will probably have her over to ours on Christmas Day instead.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, really just wanted to say that it's about doing what you want but also compromising with your partner. I'll be honest if my OH wanted to spend Christmas with his family or no-one i.e. not my family I wouldn't be too impressed. So maybe you could find a compromised for everyone? Sometime with your family before Christmas & then sometime with your OH's family afterwards xmas day just the two of you ... or something along those lines?

euripidesralph

I do sympathise because I went through this before I met my husband, I went home as a matter of course but it was so stressful with all the niggling that it began to put me off christmas. Fortunately when I met my husband, I had one year of it being our first together, then last year it was our first being married, and it sort of broke the pattern, they sort of assumed this year that I wouldnt be coming,

And if Im honest I think we were all relieved to break the pattern, you may be surprised at their understanding

Hope it all works out for you

zzzLazyDaisy

I don't spend christmas day with my family and haven't done for a long time - mainly because everyone is in different parts of the country and all are too far away to go there and back in the same day.

But we do get together in the run up to christmas, and have a 'mini christmas' which is fun. I have one with my Dad and sister, one with my son and whoever he happens to be going out with at the time, and one with my DIL and my grandchildren. We have a christmas lunch (either out or in depending on where I am - with the grandkids it's a chinese takeaway!). We exchange little token gifts and I leave their christmas presents to be opened on Christmas day.

It's relaxed and fun and it works for us.

It also means that I am free to spend christmas day as I please (which usually means going out to spend the day with friends and then coming home to my own home and curling up with my cat to watch a DVD... I must be getting old.... !!)

Esqui

I'll be 23 this Christmas...and I too have been with my boyfriend for 2 years!

I will be going to my Mum's after work on Christmas Eve, and staying for Christmas. And I suspect I will continue to do it for ever. That's what Christmas is for!

red_devil

we dont get together with family on the actual day due to family bust ups, distance, and people not wanting to get together and be fun a load of old stick in the muds. Boring lot.

Sometimes we go to my parents on the 27th/28th for a day.

lilmiss1982

I've lived away from home for 10 years, I have a husband and two kids and still go home for Christmas:)

Giggles_Fairy

Inmy eyes when I move into my own home is when I will stop being at 'home' with the family as that isnt my home anymore

jcr16

in my eyes xmas is about being with the ones you love.

why not just ahve a xmas with you and yoru partner on the day. then maybe boxing day see his family , but see yoru family maybe the week before.

hubby and i always had xmas at his parents. We would go over to theres about 10 in morning. but when our eldest boy turned 18m, we decided to be host's. ( our house is bigger and just alot easier for in-laws to come to us). then from 2007 our inlaws have alwasy slept xmas eve so they can be here to see kids first thing in morning.

they have said at any point we want just an xmas at home by ourself ( us and our kids ) just say. but tbh it would break the kids hearts not to have them stay.

having said that i think next yr we staying with them.

trinity_enigma

We all used to get together on Xmas day but last year everything changed. My Dad had sold the family home and moved in with his gf which was too small for us to go and stay anyway (I have 1 sister and 2 brothers). Their house is not designed for family, just for them.

My dad pretty bluntly explained that they wanted xmas day to themselves and that we would do something Boxing day instead. Which stung a little bit. I went to my bf's family xmas day instead- which was a blessing in disguise because I didn't get asked to do anything all day (especially not during the climax of the Dr Who xmas special!)- not that I didn't offer of course!

This year we are going to stay in a cottage for a weekend a couple of weeks before xmas. It works out best for us as my sister works in a hotel, my brother a restaurant- they find it hard to get time off work and then my other brother and me have partners who have their own families.

We live close to my bfs families so just pop round for a bit and enjoy presents and drinks and then pop off back home for some time for ourselves!

wendz86

I am 24 and this is the first year I am not going home but they are all coming to us. OH only had Christmas day off so is easier for them to come to us. He is going to visit his family a week or so before.

If it would be easier to have your own Christmas at yours do it!