Cremation

clearing_out_my_pockets

When it's my 'turn' I want to be cremated. I have lived next door to a church graveyard and it's so sad when you see the graves of people who have no living relatives to tend the grave I'd rather have my ashes scattered at a place that is important / sentimental to me and my loved ones.

travelgran

Can you change the image in your mind? The old idea of the Viking longship on fire and sailing into the sunset may not be 100% accurate but may help you see your grandfather as a respected older person receiving the rites to which he is due.
(Hope that doesn't sound too fanciful!)

Kate78

Sorry for your loss OP.

Maybe you will never understand why your granddad chose this, but you will know that you loved him enough to respect his last wishes.

Gleek

Have to say, I've lost a lot of relatives sadly (including my gran and my dad) and they've all been cremated, out of a good 8 funerals that I've been to, none of them have been burials and I know all the other relatives that I've known about who have had funerals around various parts of the world have all been cremated too.

The thought of being buried is a little creepy for me, I couldn't bare it if I knew that was happening to me.

So sorry for your loss lovely xx

Starrystarrynight

I'm very sorry to hear about your sad loss.
In common with some other posters here, I'd far rather be cremated. I can't bear the thought of being left alone in the cold ground, rotting away and being eaten by critters. Sorry if that's a bit graphic. I also couldn't have taken it if my Mam had been buried. She apparently asked my sister years ago, not to leave her alone after she'd gone and I'm sure the thought would never have gone away if we'd had to leave her and walk away from a grave.
Your grandad will always live on in your heart and mind.

RAS

Hi

Being a complete contarian....

I have already asked to be planted, preferably in a cardboard box in a woodland site.

I appreciate that it is something about which some people feel very strongly, huge years of fuss and grief were caused because one of my uncles could not bear a cremation and another thought burial was a waste of money.

xoxo, it makes me sad to think that you feel unable to see your GF now because he will be cremated later. If you see him, he will be the same now whether he is buried or cremated.

Have you told other member's of the family how you feel?

McKneff

Just another thought, i get the impression that yu have not been to a cremation before?

It isnt as if he is sent through the curtains and straight away cremated and his ashes come out the other end.

Cremation can take up to eight hours after the service depending on hwo busy the place is. So you can never know actually when it is happening.

Go with grandads wishes, it will be the last thing he asks of you.

building_with_lego

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Being a complete contarian....

I have already asked to be planted, preferably in a cardboard box in a woodland site.

So have I!
I feel that I would rather feed the ground than pollute the sky, but I've found the opinions of the above posters fascinating.

I can only say, talk talk talk, whether on here or to your family, and cherish your memories of your GF. RIP.

Filey

kegg wrote: »

some people dont like the thought of being put in the earth and becoming worm food.
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Strictly speaking a buried body doesn't get eaten by worms. Worms are not active at the depth bodies are usually buried.

A better way to look at it is as recycling. That's one reason some people choose a woodland burial, where the body is buried (at the usual depth) and a tree planted above the grave. In the fullness of time when the tree roots grow far enough down, the totally (by then) decomposed body will add its minerals and organic matter to the soil to be used by the growing tree.

Cremation and the scattering of ashes is a quicker way of recycling the same elements. unless of course they are kept on the mantlepiece in an urn.

Nothing is ever destroyed and gone, it just changes into something else eventually.

meritaten

I understand how you feel about cremation OP - I feel the same. But its the norm among my family to be cremated and I have had to go to many cremations. I find it a very cold, impersonal service and takes only a few minutes TG! once those curtains close then you leave (they dont actually cremate while mourners are there I believe). I usually just try to distance myself and dont think about the coffin containing anything.
If it was what the deceased wanted then the comfort is in carrying out their wishes.