Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

skylight

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Eveything's ruined. Ste's sister can't have Kaitlyn on sunday when we#re supposed to be going to take Ash to the safari park for her birthday because her boyfriend had made plans to go see his mum. This is all I need I'm just sat here in tears because I've let Ashli down and ruined her birthday. Everything was all planned and we were looking forward to going but it's just all gone t*ts up again. We haven't got room in the car to be able to take K as well and it was supposed to be Ashli's day with just her and it's just ruined. We can't expect anyone else to have K as noone else we know has experience with babies.

Why does life always kick you when you're down?????

Right. You have not ruined her day. She is too young to be bothered. She will be just as happy with a birthday cake and a sing song with Mum and Dad (as well as her baby sister) than a safari trip - a trip that you can make another day or weekend.

She will be happy because Mum and Dad are happy and spending time is important - not with how much money you spend on them (I know you don't go overboard!!!!!)


Out of interest, why can you not fit in K into the car?

tigzem

Aww IA, I know it's tough for you, maybe try the pills (think takes couple of wks to work) and see if makes you feel brighter, it might make all the difference?

Keep talking, even if just on here, it all helps, big hugs xxx

immoral_angeluk

charlotte664 wrote: »

Right. You have not ruined her day. She is too young to be bothered. She will be just as happy with a birthday cake and a sing song with Mum and Dad (as well as her baby sister) than a safari trip - a trip that you can make another day or weekend.

She will be happy because Mum and Dad are happy and spending time is important - not with how much money you spend on them (I know you don't go overboard!!!!!)


Out of interest, why can you not fit in K into the car?

K will fit in the car but the plan was to take MIL as well as Ash is very much a nanny's girl and there isn't enough room for Me, Ste, MIL and 2 car seats.

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Eveything's ruined. Ste's sister can't have Kaitlyn on sunday when we#re supposed to be going to take Ash to the safari park for her birthday because her boyfriend had made plans to go see his mum. This is all I need I'm just sat here in tears because I've let Ashli down and ruined her birthday. Everything was all planned and we were looking forward to going but it's just all gone t*ts up again. We haven't got room in the car to be able to take K as well and it was supposed to be Ashli's day with just her and it's just ruined. We can't expect anyone else to have K as noone else we know has experience with babies.

Why does life always kick you when you're down?????

Bummer - what about mil? You really haven't let Ash down though she has the best mum in the world - just take a brief look back at all that you've achieved over the last few months. YOU ARE A SERIOUS STAR, AN ACE MUM AND A BRILLIANT MSE'r and don't you forget it!! Ash will have a wonderful birthday just being with you will be fun enough whatever you decide to do! sister-in-law the problem not you!! can't she babysit without the bf?? Ash love you K loves you and Ste loves you (+ people on here who know you love you too!!) and in the grand scheme of thing thats what count!!xx

immoral_angeluk

in_debt_again_and_stupid wrote: »

Bummer - what about mil? You really haven't let Ash down though she has the best mum in the world - just take a brief look back at all that you've achieved over the last few months. YOU ARE A SERIOUS STAR, AN ACE MUM AND A BRILLIANT MSE'r and don't you forget it!! Ash will have a wonderful birthday just being with you will be fun enough whatever you decide to do! sister-in-law the problem not you!! can't she babysit without the bf?? Ash love you K loves you and Ste loves you (+ people on here who know you love you too!!) and in the grand scheme of thing thats what count!!xx

I just wanted her birthday to be special and for her to be able to look back on pics etc and know that her mum and dad loved her enough to take her places and not have K dictating everything. SIL's boyfriend had planned for them both to go and obviously it looks like he comes over her own family.
I just feel so so sorry or Ashli as she has a mum who just can't seem to do anything right for her recently.

skylight

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

K will fit in the car but the plan was to take MIL as well as Ash is very much a nanny's girl and there isn't enough room for Me, Ste, MIL and 2 car seats.

So dump MIL. As its her daughter who has let you all down, she should be understanding. You can still have a good family day out and K won't really notice if Nanny is there or not.

moonlightpjs

Hi IA
Was just checking in to see how you've gone on at GP's and now my heart really goes out to you. You've got to think of the AD's as just a pill - as in you would take Anadins or whatever if you had a headache - they are just there to make you feel better. The pills will just help you get back on your feet and with a bit of luck you won't need to take them for long. You'll be amazed at how much better things seem after a couple of weeks of taking them and then you will be able to deal with things in your own time. Just think that one pill is a step forward to recovery and then the next and so on and so on.

I think its normal to feel guilty about not spending as much time with your eldest child when you have a new baby - I did and Sam was 7 years old when I had Mollie - try and keep some time just for you and Ashli - even if its only an hour a day, Get Steve or MIL to watch/take out Kaitlyn and maybe go for a walk with her, read some books or watch a DVD. What about swimming, could you take her to a mum and tots swimming session. Most lesuire centres do them and I don't think they are that expensive and it probably would help you relax a bit - only suggestions though - you know best.;)

Its normal with PND that you just want to wallow and be by yourself so don't feel bad about it - if you don't want to talk to your MIL then just don't- ask her to take the kids for a walk then you could have a nice bath or a sleep for an hour or two. You do need help so take it when its offered it doesn't make you a bad Mummy, quite the opposite - you just need time to recharge your batteries, god knows how I would cope with two little ones - it doesn't bear thinking about :rotfl: Also, just remember that Kaitylyn won't remember any of this and if you get right, her first memories of you will be happy ones!!! Its important though that you do have some time for yourself so take any help offered by your MIL.

You are a normal Mummy who just needs a bit of help like many of us, just think about it - you'd ask for help if you broke your ankle or had chicken pox wouldn't you? Its just the same, its a chemical thingy in your brain and you will get better. You are not a bad person or a bad Mummy (in fact I think you are fantastic and a great role model )

Keep posting and chatting - just if you need a moan or whatever- just get it off your chest!!!
Thinking of you xxxx

pk2007_2

hi IA
sorry to hear things have not gone well with steve's test and A's b'day plan. can MIL take her own car and A with her so all of you can go?
re the PND - it's normal to feel the way you are feeling; might be helpful if ur MIL can look after K for 1 hour while u get some 1 to 1 time with ashli. call your HV again and ask what help is available. maybe u just need to have a chat with her.
i do hope you will start feeling better soon
good luck

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Yes what about safari park with mummy and daddy, mil have k, then nanny can take her out for the day (or even spend the day with her at her house maybe a sleepover?) during the week or next weekend - then just like the queen she has 2 birthdays!
I think you're feeling seriously guilty about Ash having to share you, I went through that, my eldest was 5 when I had my second son and he had been the centre of our world then suddenly a screaming person arrived (at Christmas too) and I felt so guilty it hurt, I loved my new baby but felt so sorry for the eldest he suddenly had to "grow up" and share us and our time! But overtime (and it does take time!) we all got used to one another and felt like a family again!!
Take a deep breath, go in the bedroom and punch the pillow, cry if and when you need to and then give Ash and K a big hug - you know you want to!!
But mostly remember you're THEIR MUMMY and you're the BEST MUMMY IN THE WORLD!!

moonlightpjs

charlotte664 wrote: »

So dump MIL. As its her daughter who has let you all down, she should be understanding. You can still have a good family day out and K won't really notice if Nanny is there or not.

I Agree.

Leave MIL at home!!! Its your daughters birthday and for all 4 of you to enjoy. Why should you have to feel like you have let Ashli down (which you haven't by the way) when you can all go along and have a lovely day by yourselves? It doesn't matter is shes a Nannys girl - shes your girl first and foremost. You've tried so hard to make the pennies work for Ashlis birthday - it will do you the world of good to get out for the day and relax.