Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

skylight

I failed first time as well (indicated right at a roundabout, but moved into the left lane almost causing an accident!!). Second time round is much easier - you know what to expect.

He will pass! Get him to re-book the test ASAP (and get yourself to bed early for some sleep.)

Snaggles

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter Charlotte - Ruby is a lovely name!

beanielou

Sorry IA about Steves test.
Sure that he will pass next time.
Try not to stress about the money.
Hope you get on ok tomorrow.
Take care
Huggles

jadecatkins

Hi IA linked through from BW and just read whole lot. Sorry to hear about Steves test. Never mind he'll get there next time.

You are doing so well keep it up. Wanted to post a quick message though as we had dealings with Boxclever. Have you phoned them yet to cancel. They say you have to give them a months notice so you will end up paying another month to them.

Hope I manage to deal with my debts as efficiently as you.
Cat

immoral_angeluk

jadecatkins wrote: »

Hi IA linked through from BW and just read whole lot. Sorry to hear about Steves test. Never mind he'll get there next time.

You are doing so well keep it up. Wanted to post a quick message though as we had dealings with Boxclever. Have you phoned them yet to cancel. They say you have to give them a months notice so you will end up paying another month to them.

Hope I manage to deal with my debts as efficiently as you.
Cat

Hi fellow babyworlder! Ste called boxclever yesterday and they said exactly what you have, even though the first time he called they just said that he could cancel anytime and arrange collection :mad: So we've got another month's payment to go and even then they're not picking up the tv til the 10th May! Wish they would've told us the right information first time round! Grrr...

immoral_angeluk

Just got back from the docs and lo and behold I have anti depressants. Trouble is I don't want to take them. I can feel myself getting angry about it just thinking of taking them. It's like I don't want to accept that I've got a problem. Deep down I know something's not right, I don't seem to be bonding with K and I don't want to do anything with her or have to deal with her. When she cries I end up in a complete state if I can't calm her down quick enough and I feel so so sorry for her but all she wants is her mum to love her and want to be with her. It all seems to be focused around K as when she's asleep and I can just get on with everything I'm fine, but if I have to get involved with her for anything I start to feel bad again. In a way I think i just resent her for making things so hard and stopping me spending time with Ashli which is just an awful thing to feel and I feel so guilty. I think the whole situation has dragged up some feelings from when mum died as I suddenly feel really alone whereas before I used to be able to call her up for anything and she was only ever around the corner. But on the other hand I want to be by myself and just wallow in my own self pity, but I can't even do that because I've got to look after the girls. MIL came round this morning while i went to the docs and is coming around again in a bit, but to be honest I just don't want to have to deal with her and make small talk. I just want to be alone, but PROPERLY alone, ie no kids. Fat chance of that though...

I just want things to be back to normal! I've got to take one pill a day and go back and see the doc in 3 weeks. But I can't bring myself to take them and keep making excuses...

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Oh IA sorry to hear you're not yourself - big hugs. I know how you feel about the pills but they may make you feel a little better and you may only have to take them for a very short time - just to allow you to get back on top! I have 4 children aged between 19 and 4 (eek!!) and my middle boys were only 15 months apart and it was very hard, but it does get better and things WILL return to normal. Perhaps mil can take the girls out for an hour then you won't have to do the small talk!! You are so doing the right thing by talking about it though, bottling it up is not a good thing!!! Please take care and soon your sun will shine again.
xx

immoral_angeluk

Eveything's ruined. Ste's sister can't have Kaitlyn on sunday when we#re supposed to be going to take Ash to the safari park for her birthday because her boyfriend had made plans to go see his mum. This is all I need I'm just sat here in tears because I've let Ashli down and ruined her birthday. Everything was all planned and we were looking forward to going but it's just all gone t*ts up again. We haven't got room in the car to be able to take K as well and it was supposed to be Ashli's day with just her and it's just ruined. We can't expect anyone else to have K as noone else we know has experience with babies.

Why does life always kick you when you're down?????

dianadors

Sorry to here Ste didnt pass his test - my friend ran over a dog and killed it on her test!!!!

I have a top tip for PND - get your coats on and go out. Sod the housework etc. I used to get my baby in his pram, get my toddler wrapped up warm and go to a local childrens farm (nearly every day!). I used to pack a flask of coffee, and some sandwiches for us and stay out most of the day - and the weather at the moment is really lovely - so make the most of it. If you can persuade a friend with similar age kids to go, all the better, but if not go alone. Babies sleep much more in the outdoors, so you can park her up and play with your toddler. My friends used to joke about how much time I spent walking and outdoors with my kids (and still do today even though they are teenagers) but it used to make me feel so ill and lethargic staying in with the heating on. Believe me, you will feel so much better and your kids will benefit greatly.

skylight

I had a nice long (and more or less sensible!) post typed, then darling Emily decided to climb behind Mummy and bash the keyboard - knocking the system out. And I can't remember everything that I thought, so here goes!

The pills are only temporary. They are just another form of help for you with this PND. Why do you feel so anti them? Did you have a good consultation with your doctors over them?

And you are bound to feel upset over your Mum not being with you any longer. The birth of a child is the time you want Mum with you - but do you think that you dealt with her passing at the time? Bereavement can also hit at anytime - mixed with "baby blues" can make everything appear worse.

Just post as much as you like - lots of chat can help. Moan all you like and take on In Debt Agains suggestion - ask MIL if she can take out both girls for a walk or trip to the shop. A coffee and biscuit on your own for 20 minutes is better than nothing, so try to grab it quick!

Me time is difficult to get hold of - you have to ask for it, cos those around you will never know what you want or need, unless you ask for it. (And boy, do I have to do a lot of asking!!!)