Help me my life sucks

alisonvt

Hi,
I will be honest and say i have not read all the replies, i know the feeling i never have any spear cash, ans yes rent in devon is high my cousin just moved to paignton and i was shocked at her rent.
I am a single mother of 3 living on benefit, i have been signed off work for 3yrs 6mths now due to back problems, the children are 10, 13 and 17 my 17yr old does not work or claim i have had many problems with him but stick by him i am his parent and will be there, but at the same time i get no help at all for him even if he was claiming i would get nothing and what he would get is very little.
We live in the middle of nowhere with a limited bus service thats if it shows up, everthing is done on the internet so i use credit cards and always swapping balances for the best deals, but recently reviewed my outgoings and incomings as i know i am getting in a bad way, this was also to show my son where it all goes at 1st he took it in the next day asking for money.
My electric is £85.00 a month yes i know high, there is no gas in the village and the whole house is electric i have an open fire in the living room, a 4 bed house, electric fan heaters in all 4 bedrooms and 1 in the bathroom, 2 large storage heaters downstairs and electric fan in the kitchen also 1 in a small room downstairs, this winter i had no heater on upstairs except when bathing, so all i have had on is lights, cooker,t.vs ect and the 2 storage heaters, my bill was still £300. for a 1/4 and it was a reading, i do have errears on the so a small amount is for that.
I have no social life at all, not that i am ready for one at the moment, i have had a finace company out but when i looked through it with my mother i would be paying for the next 25+yrs for these depts, so i am trying on my own with little success, as i had a high vet bill although insured i pay the 1st £50.00 and this is the 1st time she has needed a vet, yes people say get rid of her, i cannot she part of the family now after 4yrs.
All i can say is take one day at a time, its all anyone can do and try your hardest not to get to worried about it which i know is not easy as i worry all the time.

THRIFTY_JO

Hello, I read your posting this morning.
I hope I can help. It sounds like an impossible job to keep finanically afloat.
Here is a couple of suggestions
1. Is your house insulated, loft and walls?
As you said you are on benefits and I assume it is your house, you will get reduced if not free insultation from you local council, check out their website. I insulated our loft, as we both earn the council wanted to charge us £200 and it cost me £50 from Wickes, the house is much warmer for it. There was a waiting list but the man who came out to give us a quote was very helpful.
This should help to reduce your heating bills by at least 1/3.

Are there any drafts sapping the heat from your house? Adding thermal liners to curtains and draft excluders also helps. No point in paying for the heating to go through the walls or out of the doors.

Energy effcient lightbulbs, cooking in bulk?

2.Council tax- I guess you have a reduce bill as you are on benefits, can you get a reduction for your son who is not working.

3. Teenage son.
Is he interested in going to college, working or is he unable?
He is an adult, he is benefitting from living in the house and you have tried to treat him as an adult by making your case clearly to him. I know teenagers can be hard work but will he still be at home when he is 25 if you don't push him a little bit. Maybe by putting up a wall chart with debts, who you owe, how much , how soon you can sort it out and a small list of essentials, utilites, food etc just stuck on the wall might help. He might not take it in straight away but you never know having to face the facts might stir him into action. Could you not get him to claim housing benefit to at least help you out?

A cheeky question and don't reply if you don't want to . You said you have two other children at home , do you receive a maintenance payment for them? If it is outstanding withthe CSA get your local MP onto it. Its coming up for election time and they all want to be seen to be helping.

3. Finance Company
You have already got to this site and already admitted that things don't add up. Good for you, its a brave step. Why don't you use the other parts of this site to help you make sense of it all? Start with something easier like the utililites comparison and work you way through it. Set yourself small but achievable goals, step by step. I'm sure you can do it.I guess the finance company would charge you for their service and bet their fee over 25 years would be a handsome sum.

Start with the debt- do an excel spreadsheet
amount owed to comany x, interest rate have a look on the budgeting bit of the site. Sorry I can't give you the link but it might on another debt free thread. Are you really getting the best deals on absolutely everything?
Try to move the most expensive ones, consolidate smaller credit card bills by switching on the 0% balance transfers to others so that the debt is sort of frozen for a set period giving a chance to get reduce the capital owed on that one then another one etc.

Speak to the companies you have problems paying and also write to them. Most of them are very understanding and would like to keep you as a customer.

There are plenty of others in the same boat and many other people have added plenty more than I have on the debt free pages.
Hope we can all help you

Thrifty Jo

Daddy_Bear_2

brisck1 wrote:

Yep you are right my rent must seem phenomenol to most
Ok here a quick, budget of my outgoings:

Income P.C.M
Work: £1037
Outgoings
Rent: £385
Car loan: £155
Mobile Phone: £30
Land line: £30 (includes internet broadband)
Food: £80
Petrol: £56
Car tax: £10
Council Tax £80
Electric £45
Gas £10
Social money £80 (drinks, cinema, etc)
Household(cleaners etc) £15
Contact lenses £10
TV Licence £10
Home insurance £15

TOTAL Left £61

The problem you have is that you are choosing to live on your own so you are carrying the costs of this. It is the same problem for me, I take home £1900 after tax in London and I want to live on my own but with £700 rent, £100 council tax then all bills I have no money left over either. If you shared your living accomodation with someone else you would halve the CT, TV, electric, gas and save on the rent so you would probably be nearly £200+ better off. I'm afraid it's the cost of living in this country now, living alone is a luxury that you choose but you won't be left with much money after your living costs. Therefore it's your choice, live on your own, have no money or share and do. People all over the country have to make this choice, it sucks but it's ultimately your choice.

babysaver

THRIFTY JO said "A cheeky question and don't reply if you don't want to . You said you have two other children at home , do you receive a maintenance payment for them? If it is outstanding withthe CSA get your local MP onto it. Its coming up for election time and they all want to be seen to be helping"

If Alison is on benefit and was assessed by CSA before 2003, she won't get any maintenance paid anyway as it goes towards the benefit.

If Alison hasn't been assessed yet though, she would be entitled to first £10 per week of any maintenance paid....

winkle1

Daddy_Bear wrote:

The problem you have is that you are choosing to live on your own so you are carrying the costs of this. It is the same problem for me, I take home £1900 after tax in London and I want to live on my own but with £700 rent, £100 council tax then all bills I have no money left over either. If you shared your living accomodation with someone else you would halve the CT, TV, electric, gas and save on the rent so you would probably be nearly £200+ better off. I'm afraid it's the cost of living in this country now, living alone is a luxury that you choose but you won't be left with much money after your living costs. Therefore it's your choice, live on your own, have no money or share and do. People all over the country have to make this choice, it sucks but it's ultimately your choice.

i second this - thats why I'm moving in with my sister next month - my rent is going to halve, plus we will share the gas, elec etc. Its going to be a pain and will take time to adjust (havent lived with my family for 7 years now!!) but it'll be worth it in the end - hoping to get out of debt this year (apart from student loan) and start saving to buy my own house.

Rudolph2004

i can only say i know how you are feeling, i dont have any "tips" as such for you but i was in the same position as you not to long ago, with a husband to keep too!lol. we have really struggled and we wernt in any huge amount of debt as such it just seemed byt the time we got in gas and electric and paid the bills everything was gone, most weeks we didnt even have money left to buy any food, We were feeling the same as you, thinking how, can all our friends afford to buy houses and cars go on holiday and go out? In the past 5 years we have only been to family partys, weddings etc, no nights out with friends etc, however after the discover of this site, i bought martins book and downladed the bugdget sheet, slowly but surely things started looking up, inbut were not totally out of the woods yet but we are getting there, we have just boked our first holiday, although its not untill next year(that gives us plenty time to pay it) and we have even managed to have a night out at new year and go for a few bar lunches since! All the advivce i can give to you is keep your head up, keep smiling and things will slowly work out(as long as you dont teke on any debt! lol.)

P.s I have an orange sim card, so if you did fancy a night at the cinema(as long as its a wendnesday, PM me and ill txy you the code thing that you need, its two for the price of one i thik, so get a mate to pay and you go free!

margaretclare

Daddy_Bear wrote:

The problem you have is that you are choosing to live on your own so you are carrying the costs of this. It is the same problem for me, I take home £1900 after tax in London and I want to live on my own but with £700 rent, £100 council tax then all bills I have no money left over either. If you shared your living accomodation with someone else you would halve the CT, TV, electric, gas and save on the rent so you would probably be nearly £200+ better off. I'm afraid it's the cost of living in this country now, living alone is a luxury that you choose but you won't be left with much money after your living costs. Therefore it's your choice, live on your own, have no money or share and do. People all over the country have to make this choice, it sucks but it's ultimately your choice.

I hadn't thought of it this way, but certainly - the 2 of us are much better off since we got together 7 1/2 years ago. We're on retirement income (basic pensions plus annuities from previous careers) so it's not phenomenal (just short of £19K a year between us). But we live comfortably although simply.

Is this the reason why so many older people, especially women, are living in poverty? Just because they live alone - no other reason?

I agree about insulation. We live in a 2-bedroom bungalow, I've lived here for nearly 15 years, a 1930s bungalow has needed modernising and the very first thing we did to it was insulate the loft really thickly. A couple of years later and I used my redundancy money to replace windows with new uPVC double-glazed units at the back and sides (the front had already been done).

Another money-saving idea is getting your water on to a meter and use showers rather than baths.

You may not be able to contemplate it at present, but if you replace any appliances make sure they are as energy-efficient as possible. Over the last couple of years I've replaced a fridge-freezer and washing-machine with 'A' rated (the most energy-efficient possible). Our old fridge-freezer used to build up ice which of course meant it was working harder, using more power to stay cold.

Any teenagers or adult offspring at home should be paying their share. Maybe this is a generation thing - we were expected to, it doesn't seem to happen so much now. I hear people say they live at home and it costs them nothing - they still manage to get into loads of debt just on their own personal spending when their food, lodging, laundry etc is all free!!

If you're on benefits the DWP actually assume that teenagers are contributing, even if they're not.

You've had some good suggestions here - good luck!

Margaret

westernpromise

margaretclare wrote:

I hear people say they live at home and it costs them nothing - they still manage to get into loads of debt just on their own personal spending when their food, lodging, laundry etc is all free!!

I suspect that it's exactly because all those things are free that such people get into debt.

chi-chi

Hi,
I read your post with interest plus a few of the replies. I'm in debt myself and just about to post a query of my own! However I have a few ideas which might help, I don't know whether they have been covered already.

Your electricity seems mega-high. Ditch the key meter asap, it will make a difference. Pay as you go mobiles are great - if you don't have the money, it doesn't matter. £15 a month on cleaning stuff is very expensive, excluding soap powder, I don't spend that in a year (but cleaning is last priority for me!) Are you claiming your 25% single occupancy discount for council tax?

The big expenditure on your list seems to be your car. I realise cars are more important to some people than others but I really believe in driving a disposable car. £115 a month on a loan seems heart breaking. Mine cost me £600, it's a 13 years old Vauxhall Cavalier, it's not exciting but it runs smoothly. Yes it's needed repairs but I see time and time again, people with newer cars also pay out for repairs, quite often more than mine. On the subject of repairs, finding a cheap mechanic is a god send. A small, back street garage, recommended by a friend can save you a fortune.

Have you looked into housing associations? At least then you'd have the right to buy after a couple of years. Availability of social housing differs hugely around the country, I don't know what it's like in Devon.

Lastly, it may be scant consolation but the way you are living is typical of this country. This is a very expensive country to live in, it's not called Rip off Britain for nothing. Most people seem to be struggling just to cover their costs each month which is why people are leaving the country in droves.
Hope there is something helpful here.

SKINTO_3

brisck1 wrote:

Thanks for the advice anyway

I wonder if there is some way I can get out of this 12 month deal?

Hi just a thought I work for a mobile phone company and I hope you are with the Carphonewarehouse if you are there complete insurance has the ability to cancel your contract after 3 months, this may be a way to get out of it. Have a look