Feeling like I can't cope

SingleMumOf2_3

I tried him on formula for 3 days but it made him worse. So I worked hard to get him back on the breast.
I have no caffiene or pop or dairy in my diet and try and eat healthy. But again have seen no difference.
I do baby massage on him the one for colic daily but it doesnt get any wind out.. not sure if I am doing it right.
He gains tons of weight, and seems healthy otherwise. Just driving me mad cos when hes at his worst nothing will soothe him. And I have to just hold him and listen to his crying and screaming for minutes or hours until he settles a bit.
He is not on infacol etc as I have already tried them and they didnt work. He is on lactalose at the moment, which seems to have helped him poo more but he still crys every single day for up to 8 hours.

fernliebee

Sounds like my DD! She is a few weeks older than your little one and the last week has been heaven- she has been sleeping 8+ hours a night (from waking 7-8 times, to not waking at all!!) And she now only cries a fraction of what she used to. I also have a 2 year old to entertain, and have had the same feeding trouble as you describe.

Lifesavers for me have been- baby swing- DD loves it so will usually calm down in it, but also if I have to leave her for a min (bathing DD1/ taking her to the toilet etc) then it means I don't feel as guilty as she is being swung iyswim.

Wrap sling- winds her for me and when I have to get on with stuff I have hands free.

Feeding wise, I found I was feeding her everytime she cried which actually made her worse, babies translate any movement in their tummy as hunger so the wind bubbles were making her think she was constantly hungry. While I don't time feeds, I try to try everything else first and feed as a last resort iyswim. It means she is pretty much going 3 hours between feeds rather than every hour and this has helped regulate her tummy troubles and she gets her wind up so much better. Also sounds random but have you tried eating lot's of grapes, it helped when DD1 was constipated. Try to keep your calories up if you aren't getting much rest to recharge you need them to get through. Porridge is good, and flapjack for a snack. Lot's of fruit or any food, just to keep your energy up. Also try taking a multivit if only to keep your vitamin levels up, look after you as without you your boys needs won't be met.

Another issue I had that was stressful to me was every feed I was getting covered in milk and so was DD, as she was off and on all the time, spraying milk everywhere. Quite embarrassing! I now feed her with a muslin tucked under so I don't get soaked and this helped me relax and has helped our feeds so much. Something so tiny made a lot of difference.

Does he take a bottle of expressed milk? I haven't tried it yet but I was on the verge of starting to express one feed a day to get a break from how stressful the breastfeeding was.

Accept all offers of help, don't feel you aren't coping by accepting help- seriously you are amazing doing it on your own, I thought I was going insane and I have a very supportive, hands on DH who gave me loads of help and I still felt a failiure/ mess/ crazy etc. You are doing it all, and it is a stressful situation do what you can to get through it, if it means making comprimises then do it. Personally I went through everything I could do and what I was and wasn't willing to compromise on and decided that out of everything I just wanted to BF so 'gave myself permission' to do/ use any other methods available to help her/ myself to cope. As I say things are completely different this last week or so and even if it is a phase at least I have recharged my batteries.

As others say pooing once a week is fine for BF babies so I would try stopping all meds (under Dr's advice obv) and going back to basics. Doesn't sound like they are helping anyway.

hitatotatus

Do you have your mum/sister or any friend near who can help? My mum came for a short while which allowed me to get some sleep. Is there anyone near you? Don't be afraid to ask for help.
The massage should be round and round clockwise on his tummy or stroking from left to right (baby's right to left).

babyboysmommy

DS was the same. He got a lot worse when I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. The HV was not helpful.. In the end we put him on lactose free formula (you can buy it in Boots but it's not cheap) & he was literally cured over night. Thankfully we were able to get it on prescription although the first tin we had to pay for as no one else supported us when I thought this could be the cause. I had asked the HV if he was dairy intolerant she insisted he wasn't. I'm glad I ignored her! It was horrid seeing him so distressed for so long. You have my sympathy, so hard whatever the cause is.

Glad

Hi
sorry you're having a bad time at the moment

as this thread hasn't been started as a moneysaving thread, and contains some medical advice (which isn't allowed on MSE), I'll close it, but please join in the parent club thread where you will find lots of support and advice