Feeling like I can't cope

SingleMumOf2_3

I have been doing so well coping with such a hard baby.. along with a toddler mostly alone. But I am getting to the stage where I feel asthough no one believes me and see's me as attention seeking.

Is it normal to feel this way? Do I seem to be attention seeking or would you do the same?

My son is now 12 weeks old. Since 2 weeks old he has cried for at least 3 hours everyday. He passes wind all the time and breastfeeding in the day is a nightmare because he screams while feeding as if it makes his wind worse. He also has reflux symptoms.

Basically I have seen midwives, health visitors, infant feeding co-ordinators, breastfeeding supporters and several gp's.

He has been on every colic medicine out there, has been on gaviscon and I even tried him on formula for 3 days.

He has now been on laxatives for 4 weeks.. the past week double doseage. The GP said if no better she will refer him to hospital for a 2nd opinion. But the waiting times are around 8 weeks!!

He is a perfect feeder and sleeper from 11pm'ish to 6pm.. which is why I am totally confused.

I have even gone dairy free for the past 3 weeks and have cut out caffiene and pop for 2 weeks.

I feel at the end of coping. Its effecting me and its effecting my 2 year old. I have had a nursery nurse teach me baby massage but t doesnt help him.
The IFC has now referred me to the attachment team. So now I feel like she thinks I am an over anxious mum who doesnt bond with her baby.

The only person whos seen him at his worst is my gp. As when I take him to the groups for advice hes had half an hour being pushed in the pram so is alot calmer.

Am I just being silly?

pigpen

ignoring everything you have said about the baby.. how are YOU?! Are you eating properly? Are you sleeping ok? Do you have family or friends you could inflict yourself on a few times a week?

Some baby's scream for no reason.. but for him to cry from 6-11pm is perfect colic time.. esp with the wind etc.. basically it will stop.. probably at about 4 months so only a few weeks away.. My oldest daughter screamed 24/7.. she would have 10 minute cat naps a few times a day and screamed the rest of the time.. at 6 months she started sleeping at night but still screamed all day.. she was just miserable by about 4.. years not months.

It sounds like colic and tiredness of you both is just wearing you down.. if you think he does have reflux maybe ask for a referral but the laxatives will be causing wind anyway.. if he has been given lactulose I'd suggest you got a second opinion.. that stuff and a 5ml dose landed me in hospital with massive stomach pains caused by a reaction to the chemical nature and massive amounts of wind.. otherwise known as.. colic! Why was he prescribed it in the first place? It is normal for breastfed babies to only poop once a week.. they either do every nappy or once a week (or even every other week is normal for some!!) so it could in actual fact be that causing him further problems.. the wind in the gut also bubbles into the throat and causes reflux like symptoms.. burping gagging, wretching for example.

Look after yourself first.. and take the baby back to the GP and start back at the beginning.. even if it means stopping all meds and seeing how he gets on!

But at 12 weeks colic is very scarily normal and does pass by 4 months.. promise!!!

SingleMumOf2_3

Yes hes on lacalose.. 5ml twice a day

And as for me.. I'm tired.. stressed.. moody. I am trying to eat 3 meals a day because I am breastfeeding. But sometimes end up skipping meals. At babys postnatal appt he screamed the whole way through. GP asked when he'd last pooed... I said a week. That along with him passing smelly wind constantly made her decide to try laxatives x

far2812

Well to me it seems that if your baby isn't pooing for a week then something doesn't seem right!

Have you tried him on just purified water? My daughter cried and I eventually figured out that she was thirsty! I know it sounds dead simply but you never know. If he is a little dehydrated then he would get constipated and would get tummy ache!

I would try water!!

And for looking after yourself, do you have any support? NEVER worry about being an over-anxious mum- mum's have great instincts and never stop saying something because you are scared people will say you are worrying too much! It's our job to worry! xx

SingleMumOf2_3

Breastfed babies don't usually need water as the start of the feed is more like a drink. But I did try boiled cooled water with a little sugar in it at some point.
I have home start help me for 2 hours a week, but shes leaving in a fortnight. My toddler stays at his dads 3 days and 3 nights which helps. But I still find it hard on my own.

zzzLazyDaisy

Oh I well remember sobbing in the bath because my baby wouldn't stop screaming. He would scream from 6pm to 11pm or thereabouts. Other times he was as good as gold, but I was exhausted. It stopped suddenly when he was about 4 months old (I can't remember exactly... it was 38 years ago!) My HV referred to it as 'three month colic' and basically just told me to nurse him and be patient.

Of course it could be something else and you are right to seek advise and reassurance, and we are not doctors - but many new mums will tell you of the same experience.

SingleMumOf2_3

Lazy.. I get confused because I didnt think colic would effect feeding? Feeding him makes he TONS worse. And in the day I have to pace the living room just to get him to eat because the jiggling about seems to help him. Also I always though colic was evening and night time. He only suffers in the day, at night he is a perfect little baby with feeding and sleeping.

Tulip09

My youngest was a 'hard baby' so i sympathise with you. I spent many hours crying, or trying to get people to believe me, that something was not as it should be. Trust your instinct, i bet you are doing a great job. See if you can get someone to take the baby for one night to let you catch up with your sleep. For me - I went out for a few wines and decided that night i had had enough and wouldnt breastfeed anymore after trying loads of things including spending alot for baby head massages etc. It took my daughter a few days to get used to formula but most of the problems stopped after that, within a week the Dr told me that she must have been having 'wind' from the way she fed and not getting enough; she put loads of weight on in the first 10 days of formula, slept through the night and went more regular.

If you are tired and stressed that wont help you or him or your toddler - get a break somehow, recharge your batteries - you deserve it.

madtrekker

Have you thought about trying cranial osteopathy? There are mixed reviews out there but has been very successful for a lot of babies with digestive / wind / colicky symptoms.

hitatotatus

You have my sympathies and reassurance that if it is colic this should soon go.
Please take a note of what you are eating. With my first, the girls from work visited me and brought the sandwich I always had when I was at work - turkey and coleslaw. Oh, the wind my son had that night and following day. Not eaten coleslaw since!!
My mother-in-law swore by eating food with cumin to counteract the wind - maybe an old wives tale, I don't know, but try adding a bit to your soup and see if you have results.
I, too, put my son onto formula quite early after being determined to BF and soon after the problems stopped - he was hungry. With my second, I did half and half which worked quite well so maybe you could try this.
BTW he often would go weeks without a poo. The doctor told me this was ok.
Take advice from all on this site, your midwife and doctor, and stick to what you believe to be right for you.

Tiredness is the worst thing but somehow we all get though and even forget how bad it was, although won't forget not having the time to brush my teeth until 4 in the afternoon! :eek:

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, honey. Is he having something for the colic like infacol? If so that can cause evil smelling farts.

This time does pass, both my babies were like this, but that said, you know your own baby if you think something is wrong, keep on at the GP for a referral.

I found it helped to lie baby on her back, and holding her legs, lift her bottom very slightly and very gently off the bed/floor. It seemed to help when nothing else would.