** Getting stoned at B&Q ** Urgent advice needed.

PhylPho

I'm sitting here wrapped in blankets with an aching back and yesterday's cash receipt from B&Q in respect of the purchase of BLKPEBBS at £7.48p.

On the back of the receipt is this: If you return a product unused, with the original receipt, in 45 days of purchase we will exchange the product or issue a refund. . . If the product you purchased is faulty, or is not as described, we may offer an exchange, refund or repair as appropriate, in accordance with your consumer rights.

Fair enough. But the thing is. . .

(1) Yes, I have the receipt; (2) Yes, I have the product; (3) Yes, it's definitely not as described; and (4) No, I can't return it.

BLKPBBS at £7.48p is a bag of B&Q Black Pebbles. And we finished up with it because Mrs P & I decided, in a fit of athletic insanity, to rake up a patch of horrible grey stone chips in our garden and replace them with. . . Black Pebbles.

So I bought the aforesaid bloody pebbles from B&Q yesterday -- in a bag so thick with inner condensation you can't see 'em -- and this morning, Mrs P & I have laboured mightily to rake up all the horrible grey stone chips and replace 'em with. . .

. . . Horrible old grey stone chips. Because that's what B&Q BLKPBBS at £7.48p a bag most certainly are.

The plastic bag had to be cross-cut open and as the bag was in the vertical position at the time of opening, the contents all fell out in a heap. We intended that (quickest way to spread 'em and rake 'em.)

What we didn't intend was for a heap of HORRGRYPBBS at £7.48p to pile up in the space freshly vacated by the previous HORRGRYPBBS.

So, says Mrs P (not unreasonably). Perhaps they look like that because there's dust in the bag or dirt or something that's made them change colour. Let's wash 'em. So by now I've slipped three disks and dislocated my shoulder but hey, I get out the hosepipe and turn it on and soak the HORRGRYPBBS in hope they'll become BLKPEBBS but they don't and the end blows off the hose anyway and now I'm drowned as well as half crippled.

So. Question: under what "consumer rights" can I get my £7.48p back *without* having to somehow shovel all the blasted stones into a container and lug it back as proof that B&Q is entirely colour blind?

Will the store believe me?

Do I have to invite the manager around for afternoon tea so as to view the evidence?

Is an expert witness in the guise of a bloke from SpecSavers needed?

Help appreciated. It may only be £7.48p's worth of mis-described BLKPEBBS to anyone else, but to me it's been serious orthopaedic stress, semi-drowning followed by hypothermia and the waste of money I now urgently need for various medications.

4743hudsonj

Do you really need to refer to them by their item codes and the exact price every other sentence?

Why not take the bag and a few handfuls and a photo and explain, they will then tell you what the next step is. If they ask you to return as many as you can, i cant see any reason you could decline to be fair.

PhylPho

Betcha you're a bundle of fun at any party, garden or otherwise.

Wicked_witch

I have no advice other than call them and explain, but thanks for the laugh! :rotfl:

Soubrette

http://www.diy.com/diy/jsp/bq/nav.jsp?action=detail&fh_secondid=10797515&ecamp=cse_go&CAWELAID=490730393

They pretty much look like horrible grey stone chips in the picture too

rugbymum

4743hudsonj wrote: »

Do you really need to refer to them by their item codes and the exact price every other sentence?

Why not take the bag and a few handfuls and a photo and explain, they will then tell you what the next step is. If they ask you to return as many as you can, i cant see any reason you could decline to be fair.

You obviously didn't see the irony & humour in the post!
I did, and as previously mentioned OP could you borrow a wheelchair, some heavy duty painkillers, a hot water bottle & wheel yourself back to B&Q, explain and see if they are willing to be reasonable?

wealdroam

Only one bag?

Why not pick them up, put a few each into several Tesco carrier bags and take them back?

As you don't want them on your garden, being the wrong colour, you'll have to pick them up sometime.

Sometime within 45 days would be good.

Lip_Stick

Well that gave me a giggle.

I take it grey is definitely not the new black then? Acutally, I think it it is. :think:

PhylPho

Many thanks from Mrs P & I to wickedwitch, Soubrette and rugbymum for their instant help, genuine compassion, and empathic comprehension of the plight of those with BLKPEBBS Syndrome, the onset of which always follows exposure to B&Q's trading practises and results in an obsession with item codes and prices to the annoyance of those with but minimal understanding of serious medical conditions.

Special thanks to Soubrette for that link to Black Pebbles
EAN: 0000003837634 (o-gawd-there-i-go-again) because it's perfickly obvious on that evidence alone that one should be very wary indeed about ever buying any tins of paint sold under the B&Q label, never mind BLKPEBBS at £7.48p a bag. (Whoops.)

We are indeed going to hire a wheelchair, two nurses, back-up ambulance, Alan Titmarsh, and an opthamologist so as to return to B&Q tomorrow in hope of presenting a convincing argument, albeit I never remember having this kind of trouble, taking something back to M&S.

Thanks again, gang. :T

hartcjhart

I didnt think M&S sold BLKPEBBS 7.48 or otherwise

tenmah

As ever, a brilliant post from Phylpho :T

Good Luck with the return of your BLKPEBBS at £7.48p (whoops)