MSE Parents Club Part 15

kitkat5566

Evening all

Hope everyone is well!

I am feeling very sorry for myself (again). Me and OH took T shopping yest, it was so cold and busy and he wouldn't nap at all then we got home he screamed the house down. Me and OH then had a massive row which finished in him telling me to !!!! off out of the house, and out of his and T's life I was so upset, I think we were both at fault in the row, and everything kinda got blown outa proportion. But then things get worse, his family then turn up. I went upstairs to wash away my tears but I felt awful me and OH couldnt talk things over, then his family end up making my weekend hell and staying until 11.30pm, T is still not asleep by then (normally is asleep by 9-9.30pm) so I managed to get him to sleep with much screaming, then we go to bed and OH left for work 6am this morning. He did phone me apologising but I cant help feeling like I wish we could have talked more and sorted things instead of his interferring family coming over. And now he is away until Friday night and I feel so alone

Sorry rant over.

Another matter, has anyone any experience of discussing their birth with a MW/ going over birth notes? I am considering doing it , I cant remember it all but I just keep remembering odd horrific bits and I feel like its really affecting me. I really do not know what else to try. Does anyone know how I go about doing it? I was under a wales MW but actually gave birth in england so I am unsure which I contact?!

searching_me

((hugs)) kk ... dont know what else to say but ((hugs)) and i just popped the kettle on if you fancy a brew x

ladybirdintheuk

Pink_Princess_1 wrote: »

Bruno I remember the stage when naps were still needed and bedtimes were 10pm ish. Pleased to say its just a phase and now she dosnt have a nap at all usually and is in bed for 7ish so it shouldnt be long before E grows out of it

Thanks for that. It is just a phase, it is just a phase, it is just a phase.... how long does this phase last then?!

Kitkat :grouphug:. Can you talk things through over the phone while he is going? I find that we often make up far better sending each other texts after a row - no-one can hang up on each other or walk out in a strop that way (plus I at least am a bit more careful with how I word things when I'm writing them down... not that I say cross things that I don't mean, but I don't word things well enough for what I mean and what I say to be the same thing)... we start off with cross texts that get less cross until we start appologising to one another

Re the midwife thing, a few others have done it from here, so I'm sure someone will be along soon. I've not felt the need, just cause although I was a bit tramatised by mine, it was "just" that I tore quite bad, rather than medical intervention. It is not something where I feel that talking through why things turned out the way they did would help. My worries were more with "never being the same again" which is more just something you have to come to terms with iyswim. Talking on here (and to a sympathetic doctor) has been everso helpful. Just reading back, and that wasn't meant to sound like it wouldn't be useful to you.

CAFCGirl

Awww hun thats mega poop........

Could you maybe arrange to spend some time alone together next weekend so you can talk about it? Maybe your mum could watch T for a few hours.
Its kinda good that you recognise there may have been faults on both sides, could you maybe write down (when you're feeling better) some things that you'd like to discuss with OH, instead of rowing over them.... So one issue, how it makes you feel and what you'd like to do about it and what you feel he could do to help....

Its got to be so hard with him working away, I guess theres no way he can request to stay at home for a bit/work locally for a week so he can be home at night etc....

And frankly for them to sty so late is beyond selfish in my opinion and you and OH need to make an agreement that the dont come over unless invited and you stipulate a time they have to leave by...

Sorry just realised I sound mega harsh.... i think you've still got my number so if you need to talk, you know where i am xx

MadDogWoman_2

Hugs KK, I'd try your MW first.

PP - Once Katie was dry for a week overnight we left off the nappy, I then switched to lifting her for a wee just before I go to bed. Mind you the odd night I have forgotten there hasn't been any consequences.

Bruno - that is one busy Sunday, that crumble sounds yummy.

CAFC - Whenever we have DH's family over (Christening/Katie's birthday) I have to give them a going home time otherwise they'd be here all night. They all know that if we go there once Katie's had it it's home time for us, I even change her into her PJ's to emphasise the point.

Hugs and Hello to anyone I've missed.

Had a quiet day here, church this morning, walked there and back without pushchair Then watched old Christmas movies on Sky whilst Katie had a nap.

Made CFR Roast Pork for tea followed by slow cooked rice pudding.

DH cheered me up this morning as he has overtime on Wednesday which will be paid in December

Katie is too clever sometimes, I had to go and do a bit more sorting in the kitchen for tea, when I came back in she'd paused the programme we'd been watching, she said "I did it for you as you were in the kitchen" *heart melt*

SugarSpun

:grouphug: Kitkat. I agree that it is impossibly inconsiderate of your ILs to stay so late, and hope you can manage to sort things out.

A friend of mine is currently competing in Total Wipeout - I'd never heard of it before he said he was in the qualifying stages and am addicted already. They're filming today and apparently he's doing very well indeed.

got-it-spend-it

Buttonmoons wrote: »

:rotfl: The small things in life amuse me Lady, and the 555 thing is because in all American shows, phone numbers always start with 555, cause it's fake and the 8008 was just cause if you put that in on a calculator, it looks like boob.


God I am so childish

I got the boob bit, but the 555 should have been 455 (as in a s s) :rotfl:.

kitkat5566 wrote: »

Evening all

Hope everyone is well!

I am feeling very sorry for myself (again). Me and OH took T shopping yest, it was so cold and busy and he wouldn't nap at all then we got home he screamed the house down. Me and OH then had a massive row which finished in him telling me to !!!! off out of the house, and out of his and T's life I was so upset, I think we were both at fault in the row, and everything kinda got blown outa proportion. But then things get worse, his family then turn up. I went upstairs to wash away my tears but I felt awful me and OH couldnt talk things over, then his family end up making my weekend hell and staying until 11.30pm, T is still not asleep by then (normally is asleep by 9-9.30pm) so I managed to get him to sleep with much screaming, then we go to bed and OH left for work 6am this morning. He did phone me apologising but I cant help feeling like I wish we could have talked more and sorted things instead of his interferring family coming over. And now he is away until Friday night and I feel so alone

Sorry rant over.

Another matter, has anyone any experience of discussing their birth with a MW/ going over birth notes? I am considering doing it , I cant remember it all but I just keep remembering odd horrific bits and I feel like its really affecting me. I really do not know what else to try. Does anyone know how I go about doing it? I was under a wales MW but actually gave birth in england so I am unsure which I contact?!

Massive hugs for you KK. I can't imagine how hard it must be having him work away all week, and (without excusing him at all) I can't imagine how hard it must be for him working away from you and T when he is so young. I hope you get a chance to talk, even if only on the phone. Or could you email him and maybe tell him how you are feeling?

I've done the notes thing. It's called birth afterthoughts here, so you could try googling that. Or else just phone up the maternity hospital and you should be able to arrange to see a midwife.

I wasn't traumatised by my birth as such, but I had questions over what happened, why (or best guess at why) and would it happen again. It was a useful exercise and I'm glad I did it. It helped me set straight in my mind that I had taken the best decisions at the time, and what I would likely do with future babies.

Just having a goat's cheese version of the CFR onion tart for tea. Very nom.

pinknico

Hugs Kitkat that sounds very upsetting.xx

Bruno I wish my OH had half your energy, he is currently asleep on the sofa and I am waiting for my birthday dinner to be cooked looks like I'll be doing it myself.
Hope you get some you time soon. E sounds adorable thanking his dadden.x

MDW awww lovely Katie,clever girl.

searching_me

God ... i want chocolate .. its driving me bloody mental ... honestly ive not craved chocolate this much in ages x

ladybirdintheuk

I don't want to jinx myself, but I've only put Izzy back to bed twice tonight, last time was at 8:15... She hardly had any sleep today, so I think limiting naps may be the way forward. I'm not sure how practical it is though - today she fell asleep in the car, then wouldn't go back to sleep in the buggy when we got out, which is why she didn't have much sleep, but she did have a long stretch of quiet time in the buggy while I took her for a walk (we went up to th motorway bridge to look at the cars - spoilt or what ). But on a normal day I would have to wake her up, then cope with a grumpy child who had been woken up too soon. And I'm not sure nursery/my mum would be prepared to do that. We shall see.