MSE Parents Club Part 15

Sarah_Joanne

emlou2009 wrote: »

How easy is that stuff to lay? We've got carpet tiles and they are absolutely vile, who puts carpet in a kitchen anyway?!
Have been looking to replace them for ages but cant afford someone to come and fit a new floor for us. I was going to get vinyl tiles and cut them to fit myself using the carpet tiles as stencils but they will need to go under the oven and washing machine and I dont think I can do that

I hope it's really easy to do cos and me and my mum are going to do it! I think the hardest bit will be cutting the edges straight and the right size.


I'm a bit sad tonight. My mum admitted to me today that she definitely does want to leave my dad. That's fine, and I agree with her, I think she should too. The problem is that she can't (really can't, not just whiney can't) cos all the money is too complicated. Whited the rest out so you can feel free to ignore my ramblings

Basically she has a mortgage on my grandparents' house and can't leave until that is paid off (5 years' time at current rate :eek:) or some miracle happens where she could afford to pay it (£600 per month), and for her own living expenses as well. She would have had it paid off by now but they remortgaged it to pump some money into their business (the one they just liquidated). They can't sell their own house until at least next summer as they have a subsidence problem which won't be rectified until then. And I also worry that they will struggle to sell it seeing as it's now got this problem. They also had this mortgage free but remortgaged a few years ago, yet again to pump money into the business. I really want to help but there's not really anything I can do. It just really is too complicated. It makes me so sad to see her sounhappy cos he really is a pr1ck to her a lot of the time. He used to be really funny but he's gotten to the stage where he just makes jokes at mum's expense, putting her down in front of other peole a lot and never recognising anything good she does. He had some sort of breakdown a few years ago and stopped going in to work, so she had to take over the reins and go in every day, while he sat at home. She continued to run the house too, he doesn't do washing / cleaning / cooking etc. So yesterday while my grandparents were over there for tea, he made a comment that he was going to go to the old premises today to get the last of their stuff out, mum said "oh I didn't realise you were going to work tomorrow" to which he replied, "Well, somebody has to". I almost burst with anger when she told me this today. And she couldn't say anything back at the time as all the grannies were there. Sorry this turned into such a rant but I just needed to get it out I think :(

Hugs all round as there are plenty of people having a harder time of it than me.

As you were

Krystaltips

JAM1376 wrote: »

Krystal, did you say OH was having a colposcopy earlier or am I going mad? It's changed now...

Hugs to all xxx

I certainly wouldn't have mistyped a very important rear investigation that my poor husband is having to suffer with a gynaecological procedure that was talked about on the PG thread earlier now would I? :whistle:

SugarSpun

SJ it is a similar situation with my parents, although my mother seems to prefer martyrdom to being proactive. Nothing I can do but offer :grouphug:. Although quite often changes in behaviour follow on from brain events - if it is a side effect of his breakdown then it's possible that meds could help him stop saying cruel and hurtful things, which may not save their marriage but may make the interim period more bearable.

Edit: Krystal, I'm sure your husband's cervix is fine and the procedure will show nothing untoward

gill_81uk

Krystaltips wrote: »

Which reminds me... Hubby has his colonoscopy tomorrow... He's spent the day on very strong laxatives and is only allowed clear liqud and jelly for tea...

Noone told me I was allowed jelly when I had a biopsy done I remember drinking some vile soup while everyone else was eating their Sunday dinner!

Krystaltips

((hugs)) SJ, I have nothing constructive to offer... But your Dad sounds very much like mine... He's very sarcastic and quite nasty in some of the things he says, but to him he's just joking... Could your Mum maybe go and stay with your Grandparents for a while?

And glad you're feeling better too GISI

Lol Gill, he had a letter with a list of suggested meals, tonight is clear soup / bovril / oxo and jelly... My Mum had it done a few weeks ago, she just got told to take laxatives before bed, no special food or anything...

JAM1376

:rotfl:When I read it I thought - thats what I had, it must just mean a general probe and not in a particular place. :rotfl:

Glad I'm not cracking up speed reading. Good luck to him (has he had them before? All our family have cos my aunt and uncle had bowel cancer an apparently I'll need one in about 20 years time. Hope I've not forgotten something that I shouldn't have , I try and remember who has what problems )

Big hugs to SJ and mum xxx

Sarah_Joanne

SugarSpun wrote: »

SJ it is a similar situation with my parents, although my mother seems to prefer martyrdom to being proactive. Nothing I can do but offer :grouphug:. Although quite often changes in behaviour follow on from brain events - if it is a side effect of his breakdown then it's possible that meds could help him stop saying cruel and hurtful things, which may not save their marriage but may make the interim period more bearable.

Edit: Krystal, I'm sure your husband's cervix is fine and the procedure will show nothing untoward

Thanks. He has got progressively worse, it hasn't seemed like a quick change. Either way there's no way on earth he would ask for help or take any meds so possibly doesn't matter anyway.

ETA Krystal she can't stay with grandparents as they're ina granny flat with no space. They have a spare box room but there's no bed and it's full of their stuff. She does have a couple of friends who would let her stay , and I have actually said she can come here, but it'd just be on such a long timeframe she doesn't want to impose for so long. And I think she'd rather leave the "I am leaving you" for a time when she can go and things can be sorted straight away. I (and she) like to think he wouldn't be awkward over money etc but you just never really know, do you?


:rotfl: Krystal. My dad was once waching a show with people (women lol) complaining about the menopause and its symptoms, to which he declared that he thought he was suffering from it too :rotfl: (He is a hypochondriac as well as a tw4t)

tiamai_d

Becky, that first !!!!!! to the nasties is hard but oh so worth it

SJ, thats a bad situation to be in for your mum. Hope she gets something sorted out soon.

beckyandjack

will someone please tell my baby its sleepy time for her and wine time for me, NOT jigging round the room while she screams for no apparent reason time!!


hugs SJ, nothing constructive to add

got-it-spend-it

Massive hugs to you SJ. I think seeing your parents, or a parent, suffering and miserable is really, really tough so I hope there is some way that your Mum's situation can improve. I can remember when my Mum and then-Stepfather were having problems and he was really aggressive and I felt horrible and helpless because there was nothing I could do.

Thanks for all the well wishes.

Did MFD come back after her posts earlier?