Feeding babies

zippybungle

Becles wrote:

I breast fed both my sons, and want to breast feed the one I'm expecting now. As well as "breast is best" and all that, it's much easier as you don't need to worry about carrying bottles when out and about, and I found it much easier at night just to lob a boob out rather than make up or warm bottles.

It's my husbands first baby and he would prefer me to bottle feed the baby so he can have a go at feeding him/her.

I've explained I'll have a go at expressing again, but I didn't get on very well with it when I had my sons. It took hours to get anything out with the pump I had, then my eldest refused the bottle teat and was turning his head trying to suck on my Mam's nipple! The youngest was often thirsty, so he took water in a bottle between feeds, and I've said hubby can do that if this baby is thirsty.

What else can I do to make husband more involved in feeding? I really want to breast feed this baby, but I don't want to shut him out as he feels I am doing.

There are loads of other things your OH could help with other than feeding. How about he is responsible for 'bath time'?

I have happily been BF my son for nearly 16 months now (planning to stop at 18 months) and he has never once had a bottle (can't be bothered expressing!). My DP has never felt left out. Good Luck :A

inkie

Funny how all this talk of breastfeeding makes my boobs tingle and its 7 yrs since I stopeed feeding my DD

lil_me

I expressed from day one with my oldest as he was a special care baby and had to be taken in to feed him. I tried numerous pumps, indesperation, and the Avent one was the best. A teacher at my sons school is using one with much success aswell as she wantedto return to work, she agreed it is the best one after trying many. Those tips on expressing I would also agree with, but expressing one whilst feeding from the other can be a bit fiddly. I agree with maybe trying to talk him round to there isn't just feeding that has to be done when baby is little, there is so much else to do once the little one is here he'll probably be too busy to be worried about not feeding. I agree with what others have said and those usually opposed to it were not breastfed and aren't used to it, being as bottle feeding is so much more 'convenient' now. I remember where I worked when I was pregnant a lot of the young men I worked with lookied in disgust if I mentioned breastfeeding but one young man went on and on and on how breast feeding is best and if he met someone and she didn't want to breast feed he wouldn't have children with her which shocked me. Good luck on reasoning with him on this, I hope he sees that you only want what is best for your son.

bobsa1

Just on the best for you, best for baby point, last xmas I had a breast lump scare and first question from consultant was "have you any children, did you breastfeed?" when I replied Yes and Yes, he said you've done all the right things to protect yourself.

Sounds stupid but I wasn't aware just how important breastfeeding was (for mum) until this consultation, so if you can breastfeed then go for it.

ailuro2

I remember sitting expressing during my breaks at work so dd could be fed while I was at work, sitting for an hour twice a shift and on days off as well.It was a nightmare.(went back to work on continental shifts when she was 16 weeks old- nightmare,and something I'd never ever repeat:sad: )

I wasn't having a serious go at Mr Becles attitude towards breastfeeding, just at him expecting to be able to be involved in feeding, when it's kind of obvious it's easier for it to be something only the mother can do easily.Plenty other opportunities for quality time, is all I was saying.;)


It's amazing how easily he'll adapt to you getting the old boobies out in almost public. MY dh was bottlefed, along with his other 5 siblings.
Of course my m-i-l did the old "you do know don't you that she needs a drink of water too?" I serenely replied that babies who were exclusively breastfed didn't need anything other than their Mum's milk and carried on feeding my 8 week old baby, without any sterilisers or bottles in sight:j

OF course, I'd suggest that once baby is a bit older you could maybe express for special occasions, such as when you fancy a curry and a wee glass of wine-:beer: since you don't want baba getting the runs from curry and wine.

full-time-mum

ailuro2 wrote:

OF course, I'd suggest that once baby is a bit older you could maybe express for special occasions, such as when you fancy a curry and a wee glass of wine-:beer: since you don't want baba getting the runs from curry and wine.

This is a valid point but remember that, many babies will be fine, it all depends on what your normal diet is. Asian mums don't stop eating curries just because they are breastfeeding. It is all a case of trial and error, if you're not used to it then don't eat curry for the first time in a situation where you can't deal with the consequences!
My sisters baby reacts if she eats salmon, whilst it was dairy with her older one.
One of mine was iffy with red peppers and tomato if I remember correctly.

Just don't get drunk. The odd glass is ok.

A friend of mine worked in the food industry and related a research paper she had once read. They took mums and babies. Mum had alcohol. The group was split into 2. One group breastfed normally and the other expressed and baby was give it in a bottle.. It appeared that the alcohol had more effect on the mothers ability to feed rather than the alcohol in the milk affecting the baby (hope that reads OK).

If your baby seems to be restless and you think it is food related, then keep a diary and see if a pattern emerges.

I'd say express so you can leave baby behind once in a while!

Crispy_Ambulance

Sorry to sound a bit blunt, Becles, but Mr B cannot breastfeed. And there is absolutely nothing he can do that substitutes for breastfeeding. He is just going to have to bond with his baby in other ways (nappies are a good start!)

Breastfeeding is the biggest gift any mother can give her child and expressing too early and introducing bottles so another adult can feel good is not the way to go.

Express by all means when your baby is much bigger, but when they are tiny, you know you will have enough on your plate to worry about expressing.

bumpybecky

full-time-mum wrote:

Just don't get drunk. The odd glass is ok.

not if it's cider! half a pint at lunchtime and then 8 hours of hell - scream, burp, scream, burp, scream, burp........ :eek:

Jay-Jay_4

Becles, I agree with so many of the above posts, sometimes I wish I could thank people twice!

I guarantee that once your baby arrives you will get on with it and your husband will learn that feeding is not the only way to bond with a baby. Until that time comes he will conjour up a picture of 'parenting' in his head of doing what he sees on soaps, movies and in magazines of the doting father poking a bottle into a baby's mouth.

When he sees your baby suckling at the breast and has a million other things to think about he will realise that the image he carried of a 'Father' was slightly wrong.

I had the same argument with my husband when I was pregnant with my second child. My first child (different father) was succesfully breastfed for 17 months but the new husband was from a bottlefeeding family and was not very keen on the idea or the 'supposed benefits' of breastfeeding. Once baby came he changed his mind very quickly.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating and it would be very difficult for a father to take his baby away from a warm, comfortable, milk producing breast and shove a lump of plastic in its mouth for his own benefit without feeling at least a little pang of selfishness.

ooobedoo

I just want to add that I have found this thread really informative, I tried to breastfeed my son and DH supported me, he dropped to much weight and the midwife told me I had to bottle feed him.

Armed not just with this information, but talking to a woman from the NCT yesterday and my GP and fab people that have breastfed I am so determind to feed my daughter(due in Dec) myself. I have a much more supportive widwife now and she knows the problems that I experienced. I was told my one of the nurses at my GP#s surgery that they have different charts now, one for bottle fed babies and another for breastfed babies.

Becles-I am sure he will come round, good luck and thank you for this fab thread!!!

Ooobxxxx

(just tell him about the amount of money it will save!)