Feeding babies

Becles

I breast fed both my sons, and want to breast feed the one I'm expecting now. As well as "breast is best" and all that, it's much easier as you don't need to worry about carrying bottles when out and about, and I found it much easier at night just to lob a boob out rather than make up or warm bottles.

It's my husbands first baby and he would prefer me to bottle feed the baby so he can have a go at feeding him/her.

I've explained I'll have a go at expressing again, but I didn't get on very well with it when I had my sons. It took hours to get anything out with the pump I had, then my eldest refused the bottle teat and was turning his head trying to suck on my Mam's nipple! The youngest was often thirsty, so he took water in a bottle between feeds, and I've said hubby can do that if this baby is thirsty.

What else can I do to make husband more involved in feeding? I really want to breast feed this baby, but I don't want to shut him out as he feels I am doing.

toria27

Hi Becles, could you not introduce one bottle feed in the evening that your husband can do?
When my daughter was born I mainly breast fed but I was told she was losing weight so I had to top her up with a bottle afterwards. I did express all I could but due to ill health I had trouble producing enough so we introduced 1 formula bottle a day. My OH loved it as it was his time to bond with her alone he called it daddy time!
Good luck with the new baby I can't even imagine having 2 let alone 3!

lizzie12_2

Hi
Could your OH help with her bath time instead? ( and the two eldest also) that would at least give you a few minutes spare and also he would feel as if he was helping .
I expect having three small children will be hard work for you both, so there are lots of other ways he could help
OH loves bath time with our little one - his time..... but then I have to clean the bathroom after they have had a play time. Not sure who is the child in this house - but they have a great time together.
Good luck

Rachie_B

i agree ,he may not be able to physically feed the baby lol

but "his special time" could be bathtime for example

then if / when you are able to express or you begin mixed feeding he could give a regular bottle to the baby

my youngest was breast and bottle ( expressed) fed from 6 weeks

HTH

jellyhead

i was going to suggest bath time too (or changing the nappies )

my sister breastfeeds and she had the same thing, her partner wanting to give a bottle feed at night (or her wanting him to, at 4 in the morning - not sure whose idea it was). expressing didn't work very well for her, she used a manual pump with little success and then a mini electric one. the health visitor told her some women don't get on with expressing - i know i certainly didn't. so their baby has a formula bottle at night, expressing worked okay when he needed 3 ounces but now he wants 7 my sis can't get that much out, even in several goes.

it's nice that he wants to be involved with it. perhaps he could fetch you cups of tea and sandwiches while you're feeding :T my husband has a great bond with our baby, he sings, tickles and throws him about, reads him books, takes him out for a walk etc. i think people can bond without feeding as long as they 'do' something fun.

ailuro2

Becles wrote:

It's my husbands first baby and he would prefer me to bottle feed the baby so he can have a go at feeding him/her.


What else can I do to make husband more involved in feeding? I really want to breast feed this baby, but I don't want to shut him out as he feels I am doing.

oh for goodness sake, can he not see how selfish he's being?

He'll get all the cuddles,hugs etc at naptime(when mum's in the bath and cleaning the kitchen properly, no doubt;) ) and can also do dressing,changing bums, putting down at night etc.He can also wind her/him after every feed.

But to deny his first child it's mum's breastmilk, or to expect you to be stressed just so he can experience feeding it from a bottle, sorry,but that's just not on.Get him a baby annabelle and tell him to get with it.

Sorry, rant off now! Tell him you'll stop excluding him when he grows breasts and can offer the top method of nourishment for his child.:rolleyes:

Mrs_pbradley936

I would just feed the baby and explain that topping up with bottles will lessen your supply (less sucking = less milk) for the first few weeks. Once you are happy to introduce bottles let him have a go by all means. Just be aware that any advantages to someone else being able to stand in for you are outweighed by have to steralize everthing, buy formula, make it all, ensure it is the right temp etc. Far easier to feed yourself if you want to and you can.

super41

I'm currently breastfeeding my 2nd baby and I'd fogotten just how lovely it is! More difficult to get going with this baby as he was a lazy feeder to begin with and things got very painful! Anyway thanks to a fab community midwife who really helped me - and baby! - we got over the early bad patch. Also had the problem that a previous poster said about not putting weight on and encouraged by one midwife to top up with formula. Fab midwife advised against it thank goodness and I persevered and he put on the weight. Sorry I'm digressing slightly!!

I think you must find yourself in a very awkward position and with the baby due you can do without this added stress! I agree with all you've said - convenient, good for baby, cheap (!). Have you told him there may be health benefits for you as well? Lose weight with no effort, as well as possible long term health benefits?

I really think this is one area where a woman gets to make the decision - you'll be the one doing the bulk of the feeding, whatever kind, I presume. He may get bored with baby feeding when the novelty is past and you'd be stuck with bottles! Also you don't want to regret it in the future as you'd maybe resent your OH putting pressure on you.

Not everyone wants to or is able to breastfeed for whatever reasons but in your case you are keen and I'd say go for it! Obviously just need to get OH on-side. Do you think he may sub-consciously feel a little jealous that you'll be so close to baby? Tell him there are loads of things that a new baby needs and feeding is just one of many. The other posters have said, changing nappies and bathtime in particular. He'll be able to take him out in the pram on his own etc. My OH has fully supported me in breastfeeding with both our babies and has made bathtime a special time right from the start. It makes him and them feel special and is something which still happens long after breast/bottle feeding is past!

Expressing is an option but doesn't work for everyone and not recommended before 6 weeks. Also its like doing the job twice, might as well get baby latched on in the first place! I realise its different if people return to work etc. and need a bottle for when they're away.

Have you got a good health visitor who could discuss the issue with OH?

I really wish you luck with this and hope you're able to make the decision that is right for you and you get the support you deserve.

bobsa1

Just explain that the best thing for you and baby is to breastfeed and that he will be invaluable taking baby out, bath time etc. My dh is fantastic with our dd's and all breastfed.

Do you think he is feeling insecure and this is a bit of an attention thing?

Mrs_pbradley936

I do wish someone would tell new mothers that it is perfectly normal for a new baby to lose weight. It is not a sign that the baby is not getting enough breast milk.

looby75

I didn't realise you were pregnant Becles Congratulations.

What I did with ds when I was bfing was had him right over to his dad as soon as he had finished nursing so that his dad could burp him. That way ex felt a bit more involved in the whole feeding time. I also buttered him up by telling him he could burp ds much better than me anyway (lol you know what men and their egos are like) Maybe something like that would help your DH feel a bit more involved.

Also has your dh done any reading about breastfeeding? If not I strongly suggest you give him some stuff to have a look at, my ex couldn't understand why I wanted to try bfing again with ds after I had had such a nightmare of a time trying to bf dd (she ended up in hospital with dehydration :eek:) but someone lent me a copy of "so that's what the're for" and ex read it after me (mainly cos he wanted to know why I was pmsl so much while reading it) and then he understood a bit better and wasn't so resistant.