Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

mardatha

I've got that kind of a husband... I know what you mean !

Primrose

Sammy - that sounds like real progress, even if it was a painful conversation for both of you. It seems that you are both in your separate lonely places at the moment - your OH with genuine worries about his deteriorating eye condition and his problems at work, and you feeling alone and unsupported in all the burdens you're carrying at home. I wonder if Owen's employers understand his health problems. Could you persuade him to sit down and talk to them and get them to understand that his anxieties about this may have caused his behaviour lapse? If it's uncharacteristic, they may be prepared to make some allowance for him, especially if he shows that he's prepared to go the extra mile to try and make amends. When so many jobs are vulnerable at the moment, perhaps it's worth him trying to repair his track record there. .

If he finds it difficult to talk about his emotions, it may help if you try and make time every evening, even if it's just for 15 minutes, to sit down together and talk about your day, and the problems and concerns and the ups and downs you've both had. It may help you both to stay connected, especially when you're both under pressure. But it sounds now as it he recognises that damage has been done, and how he behaves going forward will be a mark of how he really values your relationship together. In many ways it sounds as if you are the more mature of the two of you, and stronger. But even strong people need somebody they can lean on occasionally, so perhaps in a subtle way, he needs to learn from you on how he can raise his own level of providing support.

Well done for standing your ground. Hopefully things will go on a more even keel for you going forward.

dollydaydream07

alec_eiffel wrote: »

That's a tough one, it probably would save money to make the pasties rather than have it like a roast but there is the psychology aspect of it. I don't know if you have any trouble getting DH on side with money saving but if you do I think it's a good idea to not make him realise you're eating budget meals, if that makes sense.

I'm not talking about tricking him or lying to him but if it brings out feelings of deprivation then maybe sometimes it's better to just lose this particular battle and give him the treat he wants. I'm like this, I need to trick myself sometimes when we're having very basic stuff, if I feel like we're scrimping I just resent it, but if I can jiggle things around to make it feel like a treat then it's good. If I feel deprived then I'm more likely to have a bit of a blow out at another time - the danger of a takeaway or something like that. Not that I'm judging your DH by my bad behaviour :rotfl: If you made the pasties would he eat them without complaint?

Of course your DH might not be like this at all, in which case ignore me! Then again I can't believe anyone would refuse pastry when offered it. I don't think this post makes sense (I don't mean it to sound like you should pander to DH), but I know what I mean...

he LOVES anything with pastry, he did say that if was to make the pasties then it would make him want to eat more of them and we are both trying to eat more healthily and have less naughty food to save money and our waistlines :rotfl: so who knows what his thinking was??

LovelyLollipop

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster here Wanted to hive Sammy a ((((hug)))) first of all.

When ironing the children's school shirts, I just do the collars and sleeves, then I hang them in their wardrobes. They wear jumpers all day so nobody really sees the shirt itself. I only buy short sleeved shirts for the same reason - why make work for myself and pay more for the privilege?

Hoping to post a little more often now that I've been brave and taken the first step!

xxx

alec_eiffel

dollydaydream07 wrote: »

he LOVES anything with pastry, he did say that if was to make the pasties then it would make him want to eat more of them and we are both trying to eat more healthily and have less naughty food to save money and our waistlines :rotfl: so who knows what his thinking was??

He's obviously just trying to keep an air of mystery in your marriage! Good luck with the weight loss.

Our boiler is now fixed, cost a fair old whack but needs must, and I've been told I have to keep the heating on until 1.15, it is very hot and I must say I'm quite enjoying it.

Pink.

Originally Posted by Hippeechiq
"

Love the sound of the Tumbling Tomatoes that can grown in containers. although forking out for the containers might be a problem.

Hi Hippeechiq,

I got a lot of pots from Asda this year...the one's that they use for displaying cut flowers. They were completely free. :j I was a bit dubious about asking for them, but the lady on the customer service desk couldn't have been more helpful and was more than happy to give them to me.

I used a Philips screwdriver to make holes in the bottom with no problems.

Most of them are at least 12 inches in diameter and some are deeper than others. They're perfect for both tumbling and cordon tomatoes and also deep enough to grow carrots in. They all match (yes, I can be a bit ocd about things like that too:o) and if they're too deep for your needs a good tip is to save any polystyrene you might have to fill the bottom third of the pot. It saves on compost and makes the pots lighter and therefore more easy to move around your patio if you need to.

Pink

RAS

mardatha wrote: »

RAS, that's spooky ( I love spooky)- I was looking for you! I want to grow a plum tree. I have a nice space all marked out. Which kind should I go for up here? Cold exposed site, just under 1000ft up. My next door neighbour has one and its covered in nice red plums, but was in when she got the house & she doesnt know anything about it. And do I plant it now or when?

m
Seen the request and will be back - RAS

Pink.

Originally Posted by mardatha
RAS, that's spooky ( I love spooky)- I was looking for you! I want to grow a plum tree. I have a nice space all marked out. Which kind should I go for up here? Cold exposed site, just under 1000ft up. My next door neighbour has one and its covered in nice red plums, but was in when she got the house & she doesnt know anything about it. And do I plant it now or when?

Hi mardatha

You aren't too much further north than I am and I have found Victoria plums do exceptionally well here. I even dug one up last year to make room for the greenhouse and in the upheaval I forgot all about it. It lay behind the greenhouse all through the winter snow and frosts with it's roots exposed and I was certain it wouldn't survive but once re-planted it began thriving again. :j So I'd heartily recommend that variety.

Pink

hellsbells45

sammy - glad you;ve sorted things out a bit, but do keep an eye on things, don't be as soft as I was.

hi lolli nice to meet you.

well not much to report stll stuck in bed:(. Billy 8 bells (cat) has been very os today though brought home a guinnepig:eek::eek:he did share it with the others though:o. Now i'm faced with a moral dilema. if anyone asks if i've seen a guinnepig, do i a)deny all knowledge of said animal or b) admit to the fact that cat had it for breakfast..........got to be a all the way:D

kezlou

sammy aw fantastic news hun, hope everything calms down. Oh and don't forget to have that day out!!!
Seems like you both had the same conversation me and my OH had not so long ago.
julie good luck with the interview!
greent you mad hatter :rotfl::rotfl:

hi lolli lovely to meet you

what ya like hells bells!

Well been trying to sort stuff out today, then gave up bleeding cramps arghhhhhhh

Thanks for the info on the trees i'll look into them. REallyw ant an apple and plum tree. Its just more space i need now.
Well the delivery came, now i'm finding it hard to cram everything in.
ah well wehave lots of pasta and flour now, so when the boys come were going to make cakes for pack lunches tomorrow. Tea i still have no idea, just defrosting some stuff that looks vaguely like carrots and lentil hmmm mystery foods.
after that blackberry flan and custard yummy! (i found it under the aforementioned mysterious foods).

Oh better go an get the boys from school.