Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

v8monkeyboy

On the subject of weddings, it reminded me of ours and my SILs.

Ours was quite a small one, with about 30 guests, no present list (we had been together for 7 years so there was little that we needed), but for those who wanted to give, we asked that they gave something we would remember them by. My best friends gave us: an urn she had decorated herself which we have willow in today and the other one gave us a quaich.

My SILs wedding cost over £20,000, and although they had been together for 7 years, they requested everything new, from a specific list, and again it was one of those 'expensive' lists with outrageous prices for things. Three weeks :eek: after they got married, she was out with my husband and told him she thought she'd made a terrible mistake. 18 months later they divorced. Apparently if he hadn't asked her to marry him she would have split up with him a year earlier, and she married him because she wanted to be a wife before she was 30!!

We're not perfect, but we are still together, and I'll be honest, it still bothers me to this day that people went to all that effort just for her whim. As an example, she gave us two wine glasses, but we (at a time when our business was failing and we had NO money) had to fork out for a specific cut glass crystal plate and bowl which cost £££££s. I know it's not about the money, but when it comes down to buying stupid things or eating, I find it matters greatly.

And breathe..... Sorry for the rant, just wanted to say that you're not alone.

T xx
I

fiftyeighter_2

My niece had a wonderfull wedding last july. They wanted no presents from anyone just to be there and bring a picnic. it was held in a beautiful park in Brighton. They had games and paddling pools for the babies. We all shared food and drink and a big barbecue was there for guests to use. The cake was made by a friend and covered in edible glitter. Guests were invited to tell poems or memories of our niece. There was a huge cotten white sheet on the grass which everyone signed with a little ditty to the happy couple. We did laugh though a little toddler with no nappy on decided to do a little wee on it. All in all it was a wonderfull day and everyone had a great time. Even the children and babies played and giggled all day. All the guests said it was the most delightfull of all weddings they had been to. And all it cost us were the petrol to get there. It will stay in our memories for a long long time.

NualaBuala

lambanana wrote: »

nualabuala yep, weighed up my options and my old coat is MUCH better quality and made of better materials than coats being sold for this winter in exactly the same shop in a very similar style and more expensive (though not sure what inflation would be between 2002 and 2010 so don't know exact cost of my coat in comparison) so yep...I'll stick with my trusty old duffle coat AND everywhere seems to be selling them again so it's even still fashionable (not that it's ever bothered me!)

I'm not surprised, I'm not at all impressed with the "quality" of stuff. It seems to have gone downhill. I suppose retailers and manufacturers are trying to maintain their profits by charging us the same amount for inferior stuff. I sound like my Mum - stuff used to be built to last ... but it's true!!!

I just LOVE the sound of all these simpler style weddings! I'm not a weddingy person but these sound just my cup of tea.

lambanana

NualaBuala it's true, they charge so much more for lower quality materials. A few days ago I looked at a chunky hooded scarf with a red and white fair isle design in M&S, they were charging about £30 for it and when I checked it was 100% acrylic I genuinely could have knit it using real wool for cheaper, shocking!

I'm not against paying more for genuine quality (finances allowing) as my grandma always said "you get what you pay for" and if it's something you want to last get the best you can afford as cheap stuff that falls apart is false economy. Now it seems that the expensive stuff falls apart as well or is made of nasty and cheap materials :mad:

AnnieG

lambanana wrote: »

NualaBuala it's true, they charge so much more for lower quality materials. A few days ago I looked at a chunky hooded scarf with a red and white fair isle design in M&S, they were charging about £30 for it and when I checked it was 100% acrylic I genuinely could have knit it using real wool for cheaper, shocking!

I'm not against paying more for genuine quality (finances allowing) as my grandma always said "you get what you pay for" and if it's something you want to last get the best you can afford as cheap stuff that falls apart is false economy. Now it seems that the expensive stuff falls apart as well or is made of nasty and cheap materials :mad:

I saw a tv programme a while ago about the cheap clothes that supermarkets sell. They said that as they're cheap they aren't designed to last, and that t shirts, jumpers etc are expected to last for 6 washes, after which they're ready for the bin :eek::eek:

MummyOfTwo

fiftyeighter wrote: »

My niece had a wonderfull wedding last july. They wanted no presents from anyone just to be there and bring a picnic. it was held in a beautiful park in Brighton. They had games and paddling pools for the babies. We all shared food and drink and a big barbecue was there for guests to use. The cake was made by a friend and covered in edible glitter. Guests were invited to tell poems or memories of our niece. There was a huge cotten white sheet on the grass which everyone signed with a little ditty to the happy couple. We did laugh though a little toddler with no nappy on decided to do a little wee on it. All in all it was a wonderfull day and everyone had a great time. Even the children and babies played and giggled all day. All the guests said it was the most delightfull of all weddings they had been to. And all it cost us were the petrol to get there. It will stay in our memories for a long long time.

thats sounds the most lovely wedding!!! i only got married last november, and we set a budget of 2k, so we could spend more on a fancy honeymoon! for our 2kk we got my 50s style dress, new topman suit for DH, a beautiful hotel with its own chapel, all registrar costs and fees, food, and £200 behind the bar. we just had family, i made my own cake, and my mother did the flowers. my brothers convertilble bmw was a perfect free wedding car! invites, favours, table plan etc were all handmade by me for next to nothing... and it was blissful! when i think back to the day i just remember grinning so hard my face hurt, watching our families eating, drinking, talking, laughing... on the other hand, my sibling just got married and spent 30k on the hotel alone. the day after she turned to me and said, all that money and its all over now, ive got to start paying for it all. its just not a good start to married life, such money worries.

LannyLee

Slightly off topic of clothes, but i've just read an article on 'How to slash your living costs in 7 days' & I read it going, 'do that, do that as well...in fact I do all these things!'

Looks like they need new writers, I'm sure any of us on here could do a far better job

alec_eiffel

AnnieG wrote: »

I saw a tv programme a while ago about the cheap clothes that supermarkets sell. They said that as they're cheap they aren't designed to last, and that t shirts, jumpers etc are expected to last for 6 washes, after which they're ready for the bin :eek::eek:

I can believe that. Until recently I worked at a charity shop and without looking at the labels most of the time you could tell a cheap item from a more expensive one just by the feel of it. Clothes from one well known super cheap shop were pretty much transparent, and some supermarket things were almost as bad. Of the supermarket brands I'd say the "Tu" range were the best for holding their size, shape and colour and were pretty much the only range worth reselling even in the ultra cheap basket.

I'm not saying that more expensive always means better just that ultra cheap "fast fashion" is very much that in my experience.

Kitcaboodle

With clothes I either buy super cheap or I buy expensive. I have a cashmere jumper I've been wearing for 20 years! I also have some £10 long sleeved tops from Tammy Girl that I've been wearing a little longer than that, though the velvet trim is now pretty much threadbare!

I don't buy clothes very often. I tend to buy them when what I have falls apart irreparably (I will spend some time wandering around wearing it while it's falling apart before then, to the despair of my mother!) To me clothes are like old slippers, I can't bear to get rid of them even if they're only just holding it together!

So yes, I don't mind paying for quality but I never pay a premium just for a name!

fiftyeighter_2

MummyOfTwo You sound very wise and your wedding day sounds wonderfull. After all this is what it should be about, friends and family enjoying the day and laughing. Such a shame your poor sister starts her married life in so much debt and to even feeling worried about it on her wedding day. How sad. I can understand its a very special day and we all want it to be perfect, but it shouldn't have to do with how much money (or debt) people spend or get into.
Well done you.