The Memorygirl Matrix

dirtyepic

jc2703 wrote: »

Morning all

Busy day for me but didn't want to read and run!

Dirtyepic - can you start a memory box? buy cards for birthdays and christmas, little gifts, write letters or a journal about the things that are happening in your life that you would have shared with them, letters telling them that you love them and are missing them (not really 'deep' emotional ones) so that the day they come back into your life (and they WILL) you can demonstrate to them how important they have remained to you. Would you other sister pass on photographs to you and keep you updated on their progress?

Laters :cool:

Hi jc!

That's a great idea, thanks so much. I will get on the case. We are putting money into a savings account with my other sister for birthdays and Christmas. Their mam was never happy with anything we bought for them and always used to tell us what we should buy them as gifts. Due to spoiling them both absolutely rotten (brand new laptops each at the age of 5 alongside a playstation, etc etc for Christmas, mobiles at the age of 6 as well as their 2nd ipods) so when we bought typical gifts for their ages they were just not interested!

But this idea will show that we do care - a lot.

I am quite looking forward to getting bits and pieces together for them now!

T
x

thriftyscotslass

Morning all :hello:

Okay time to commit to my 50-day challenge. Scottishlass, I like your "I" statements and don't fret my challenges are all about me too. Here goes:

1. I will lose 7-14lbs by following a 1200 calorie healthy eating plan.
2. I will buy Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred.
3. I will "do" Shred 5x a week, Mon-Fri, between 8-9am.
4. I will decorate our bedroom.
5. I will decorate our front porch.
6. I will put down in detail all the behaviours that my son exhibits that have led to him requiring a full-time carer (me).

The last one is going to be the "toughie". Even though I have filled in two DLA forms for him; plus he has had a medical for which he was accepted as needing DLA without question - I am still not at ease.

This is all to do with me finally accepting the limitations of my son's Autism. I know there is still a lot of denial on my part that I need to address and come to terms with. I have been so intent on trying to find help to "fix" things that I have successfully avoided looking at the reality of the situation.

So - it's down in writing - can't back out now :rotfl::rotfl:.

Hope everyone has fun with their extra hour today - mine was spent sleeping :T.

ClootiesMum

I'm away to get a large coffee & then try to catch up on this thread. T'internet went down on Friday night due to major BT outage & I have been ill since then - just mnaged to get back on.

Wish me luck in catching up

Surfbabe

Morning - am currently working on my 50 days challenge and will post later - just wanted to say HI!

Karmacat

Good luck clootie's mum, hope you feel better now.

ClootiesMum

OK - think I've got things now

Karmakat - I said the wrong thing- I was ill because of not having t'internet - withdrawal symptoms, I think - but all better now as I've had a fix...

Claire - take it easy - you don't want the making of jewellery to become a chore - you have to enjoy yourself.

Marru - glad accom is sorted out for the time being & good luck getting a permanent place

TMIF & OO - I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis..... Been there & done that (sadly) and I can't say anymore as I'm looking at Mum's picture just now - and if I don't move on I'll cry

MG & others re Gerard Kelly - such a shame - it was so unexpected & he was so young

Mike - glad you're still around & we've not scared you off

teapot - are you north or south of Edinburgh?

Now on to 50 day challenge

1. Lose 1 stone
2. Make up CV for me & DH
3. Make a start on tracing dad's money - long story & I might need to pull in some Matrix members to pick their brains for this
4. Make up house book with all details of bills, utilities, logons & passwords etc
5. Re read The Secret & Getting things done & put them into practice.
6. Have Christmas so sorted that I can sit back & enjoy it from 20th onwards

There - off to see Matrix now

Helen105

Don't worry Scottishlass we are all doing the challenge to get ourselves nearer the place we'd like to be so we are all selfish if you look at it that way.
Yesterday I had a go at making mini bagels. They didn't turn out so mini and the holes have all filled up in the baking but they will look (and taste) fab with cream cheese and smoked salmon and cost nothing as I had flour & yeast in the house already. They are now safely tucked in the freezer.
I also ordered a christening pork pie from here http://www.wilsonspies.co.uk/WilsonsSpecialityPies/CelebrationPies/

This morning I chopped up 4lb veg and put it to soak in brine to make piccalilli and made Delia Smith's Quick Flaky Pastry ready to make sausage rolls and cheesy rolls later.

We are now off to York to buy useful (and probably also less useful) baking stuff from Lakeland and to have a shufti at possible outfits in M & S and anywhere else that catches our eye. May also pop into Betty's after all the dieting part of the challenge doesn't officially start until tomorrow.

SouthernBellE*

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

Morning all :hello:

Okay time to commit to my 50-day challenge. Scottishlass, I like your "I" statements and don't fret my challenges are all about me too. Here goes:

The last one is going to be the "toughie". Even though I have filled in two DLA forms for him; plus he has had a medical for which he was accepted as needing DLA without question - I am still not at ease.

This is all to do with me finally accepting the limitations of my son's Autism. I know there is still a lot of denial on my part that I need to address and come to terms with. I have been so intent on trying to find help to "fix" things that I have successfully avoided looking at the reality of the situation.

So - it's down in writing - can't back out now :rotfl::rotfl:.

Hope everyone has fun with their extra hour today - mine was spent sleeping :T.

Hi Thrifty, I don't generally post here but I can empathise with many of your posts regarding your DS. Although my DS's 'disability' is very different from your DS, I am also a full time carer for my 19yr old. His DLA expired in May and so far, I haven't been able to face filling in his reclaim forms. It's something I've always hated doing and is SO depressing. When you're forced to focus on what they can't do in comparison to other 19yr olds, what help they need & how many times a day and how it affects them etc. 62 pages of questions that are heartbreaking for any parent.

Trying to find something that will lead to employment for them that will mean they can support themselves financially one day has been my main concern for my lad right now but is only one aspect, as his mum and his carer, I want him to lead a productive and fulfilling life but I also feel guilty that I miss the things I can not do to feel fulfilled and productive in my own life. One problem can't be fixed without the other & at the moment, I'm struggling to find the solution. It's hard when you see no end in sight.

No answers I can give you, wish I could. I understand how hard it is to accept the reality of it all and am shocked that it took so long for any diagnosis, his school years sounded as though they were more traumatic for him than they ever should have been & help should have been given to him then and support should have been there for you. I've known about my DS's disability since he was almost 3yrs old. No name for it other than SLD, no way of knowing at 3yrs old how far he would develop mentally without a real diagnosis but as feared, not as well as I'd hoped.

:oNot quite sure what the purpose of this post is. My intention I guess was to say I understand how you feel & share your worries, you're not alone & although I can offer you no practical help, I'm here for any moral support. The good news is that your son has achieved so much already, did extremely well in exams and has skills and abilities that will hopefully lead to something better, for him and for you.

Wishing you both well.

SB
X

fantasia322

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

Morning all :hello:

Okay time to commit to my 50-day challenge. Scottishlass, I like your "I" statements and don't fret my challenges are all about me too. Here goes:

This is all to do with me finally accepting the limitations of my son's Autism. I know there is still a lot of denial on my part that I need to address and come to terms with. I have been so intent on trying to find help to "fix" things that I have successfully avoided looking at the reality of the situation.

:T.

Am loving your honesty in the lastparagraph, and because of my sons situation I can relate to it totally. Empathise, is that the right word?
1. I will accept that my sons schizophrenia is not my fault and will accept his issues totally.
2. I will stop causing problems by pushing him to do things he isnt comfortable with. Instead I will encourage but accept it if he is uncomfortable.
3. I will take respobsibility for my OWN frustrations. They are not HIS fault. They are mine for not dealing with situations realistically.
4. I will be kinder to myself and stop wallowing in self-pity.
5. I will sourceand read The Secret.
6. No more excuses for not getting motivated.
And I will try to exercise and tone up.
This isnt much of a challenge when I read other peoples, but small steps will lead to bigger steps.
Good luck to everybody.

fantasia322

SouthernBellE* wrote: »

Hi Thrifty, I don't generally post here but I can empathise with many of your posts regarding your DS. Although my DS's 'disability' is very different from your DS, I am also a full time carer for my 19yr old. His DLA expired in May and so far, I haven't been able to face filling in his reclaim forms. It's something I've always hated doing and is SO depressing. When you're forced to focus on what they can't do in comparison to other 19yr olds, what help they need & how many times a day and how it affects them etc. 62 pages of questions that are heartbreaking for any parent.

Trying to find something that will lead to employment for them that will mean they can support themselves financially one day has been my main concern for my lad right now but is only one aspect, as his mum and his carer, I want him to lead a productive and fulfilling life but I also feel guilty that I miss the things I can not do to feel fulfilled and productive in my own life. One problem can't be fixed without the other & at the moment, I'm struggling to find the solution. It's hard when you see no end in sight.

No answers I can give you, wish I could. I understand how hard it is to accept the reality of it all and am shocked that it took so long for any diagnosis, his school years sounded as though they were more traumatic for him than they ever should have been & help should have been given to him then and support should have been there for you. I've known about my DS's disability since he was almost 3yrs old. No name for it other than SLD, no way of knowing at 3yrs old how far he would develop mentally without a real diagnosis but as feared, not as well as I'd hoped.

:oNot quite sure what the purpose of this post is. My intention I guess was to say I understand how you feel & share your worries, you're not alone & although I can offer you no practical help, I'm here for any moral support. The good news is that your son has achieved so much already, did extremely well in exams and has skills and abilities that will hopefully lead to something better, for him and for you.

Wishing you both well.

SB
X

Again, I'm loving the supportive honesty here. Can relate totally, having an 18 year old with Schizophrenia (he's 19 on x:eek:mas day).
Thank you. x