What can I do about my Mum?(Long. sorry)

PONDSAVER_2

I have a grandfather who is 82 and his problem is he used to have a papergirl and he used to tip her weekly??? But now she doesn't do papers but stillcalls round for money - i found out last year that he was landing her the cash card and hundreds went missing. She even cust his phone line twice. I got the police involved but grandad wouldn't press charges but they gave her a warning and it went quiet - up untillast week when his neighbour rang me and told me that girl had just entered his house again........so is it all satrting agin i don't know the neighbours are lookingout for me and said they'll ring me when they appear but they can't look out of their window 24/7 can they. He won't move as all his memories are there. I did check his bank accounts last year but haven't done since.....maybe I should but it scares me what I might see.

Sorry to highjack your thread janey51 ""HUGS""

Janey51

Hi PONDSAVER. Hijack all you want...I'm not precious about my threads and if it helps to share then feel free.
In a way, although what we are discussing is so sad, it also shows there are a lot of caring children out there.I just hope my kids are the same with me when I go dotty (er).
That girl who is being so awful to your grandfather needs sorting out by someone. It makes my blood boil. How old is she?

rog2

Janey - you could not have done any more. It looks as if your mum has 'Gullible' tattooed on her forehead - she just can't, or won't, see that these people are taking the pi$$! If you try any harder you will make yourself ill - just let her know that you will be there when she sees things differently.

PONDSAVER - your grandfather needs help.

PONDSAVER_2

Janey51 wrote:

That girl who is being so awful to your grandfather needs sorting out by someone. It makes my blood boil. How old is she?

Teens now I am assuming - He cut his hand last week and he said it was whilst opening a packet but it does make me wonder as she cut his phone last year so maybe he was trying to defend himself - I try to drop by at random times to catch her at it but have not yet. I know where she lives but going round there won't sort anything and I may get myself in botheration that way. I am going to ring one of the naighbours now as her son is a copper so maybe she can ask him for advise.

anniestar

Janey51 wrote:

Thanks again everyone.:A

elona and Emmzi: I have just phoned Mum and she is quite adament she wants to keep hold of her own finances. After Dad died I had a few heated arguments with her about money along the lines of:

No, you don't need to order something out of every catalogue that comes through the door.
You don't need the Sports channels and the Movies on Sky "because Dad liked to watch them"
You don't need papers every day when you never read them.
Do you really need to subscribe to a chocolate supplier at £40pm when you're diabetic?
Getting a "free" fleece from a catalogue when you spend £50 is not really free. Especially when you never open the things you bought.

The thing is, she's not mentally incompetent just financially irresponsible! It must be hereditary but I haven't passed it onto my kids, thank goodness, they are both very solvent and have no credit. All credit cards are cleared at the end of each month.:D

I did manage to sell a load of her stuff on Ebay and at car boots and used the money towards the funeral expenses.

dancingfairy: My neice has a disastrous emotional history with men. She has just got divorced and the new BF is a drug dealer who, I think, sees her as a soft touch for money. I do worry about her but my sister says "its her life.She's an adult!"
I don't even have her telephone number now.

Trouble is, I have always been seen as the strong one in the family but I don't feel strong at the moment. Still trying to support my husband, my boss at work whose father has just died, my friend whose marriage is falling apart and has embarked on an affair with a married man. Plus I'm grieving in advance for my house which I am having to sell to get us debt free. Its the only option we have to clear £80000+ debt.

What a moaning minny I am:o

I have a wonderful husband who loves me to pieces, two great sons and daughters-in-law. I live in a beautiful part of the country. I have 3 huggable cats.
And I've lost 6kgs since August!
Its not all doom and gloom.

You are FANTASTIC a strong woman who couldn't be "a moaning minny" if you tried. Having a supportive husband is worth its weight in gold. As for cats well mine kep me sane(sometimes!!!!) mind you i've got a few more than you. Keep smiling(and strong) loads of love AnnieXXX

Mum_on_a_mission_2

You could also register your mum's address with https://www.mpsonline.com etc to stop "junk" mail - won't stop anything related to open accounts but might remove some new temptations!

L

rog2

Mum_on_a_mission wrote:

You could also register your mum's address with https://www.mpsonline.com etc to stop "junk" mail - won't stop anything related to open accounts but might remove some new temptations!

L

Excellent idea!

Janey51

Thanks Mum on a mission. I'd forgotten about that! I did have her registered at the old address but you've reminded me about it again.
Will do it now.

Aww shucks Anniestar. Not feeling very strong at the moment but I'm sure I'll be fine by Christmas!
Have a fantastic friend who's taking me on holiday after getting some unexpected money!
Now, you can't buy friends like that on quidco.:D

LJD1_2

Janey51 wrote:

I have a wonderful husband who loves me to pieces, two great sons and daughters-in-law. I live in a beautiful part of the country. I have 3 huggable cats.
And I've lost 6kgs since August!
Its not all doom and gloom.

Great to see you're looking on the bright side. I only have two huggable cats and i've only lost 3lbs but then my mum only admitted her problems two weeks ago so i've time to catch up!!! The two guinea pigs and dog might make up for the missing cat too! Sorry i've no more practical advice to give but your positivity will help you no end. Take care xx

anniestar

LJD1 wrote:

Great to see you're looking on the bright side. I only have two huggable cats and i've only lost 3lbs but then my mum only admitted her problems two weeks ago so i've time to catch up!!! The two guinea pigs and dog might make up for the missing cat too! Sorry i've no more practical advice to give but your positivity will help you no end. Take care xx

Well I'm having a total b***dy nightmare with some of mine this morning(cats that is) One of them got out(shes not allowed out when Simon-another cat is out), the obese cat(on a perscription diet) pushed Simon & Rupert out of the way when they were having their Pouch(which they have in the morning so that I can give them their medication) When Mavis made her break for freedom she overturned one of the litter trays(nice!) Livingston went for Phoebe, Fergal got into a scrap outside AND... cane into to living room to find my beautiful lamp in two pieces(VERY UPSET) AND...my best cup(my cow cup) without its handle(and handle in at least 4 pieces-have found 3 up to now ) BOO HOO Anyone want to have a cat(or discounts for bulk!!!!!) Only joking i think!!!!!Sorry for hijacking your thread. Annie(ARRRGGGGHHH)