Double Trouble but twice as nice

hypno06

I headed over after you posted on my diary, to see what it was you were confessing to, expecting to see something completely ridiculous and all I see is that you are confessing to the fact that you haven't managed to keep to proper budgets until now.

Well, missy, you have just joined the club!!! Why do you think I am constantly changing my methods - envelopes, named pots, "housekeeping" accounts......they are all "suck it and see" methods and the reason I have to continually change is because no one method ever works for long with me.....or rather, I never work for long with any one method!

I think I did eventually, once, post an SOA.....just because I don't think people really realised that when I was talking about a large deficit, I really DID mean a large deficit.....but in terms of criticism, I know that one of the reasons I didn't post it before was because of the amount I spent on the ski stuff, and I really didn't need people telling me I couldn't afford it. When of course I knew that already!

So.....Don't feel any need to confess, feel bad about the last couple of years blah blah blah......

Instead feel GOOD about the fact that you are addressing the issue and setting yourself up well for the future.

:T

funnyflipp

What she said above

I know I was too generous with the children as well but the older ones know the current situation
DTxx[/QUOTE]
Oh how familiar that sounds, I think you have done really well, I just picked up your post on Hypno's thread and came over here to look at your confession, in truth it is the same as mine I have done the quidco, tidying up spends, back of envelopes etc. but all without posting so all my slip ups are in secret, that is the reason for me starting my diary, don't feel bad that you are just more open and honest than some of us xxxx

Hope you have a feeling of calm when the emotion has died down

Funny xx

Double_Trouble

KM I have every intention of having some nice cheap days out we are a mile from the beach and a couple of miles from the mountains so plenty of opportunities. Because it is our house out there and they are now old enough to remember it they keep referring to things we do out there which make me a little sad but it is not for ever and if I get this budgeting thing right we should be able to keep our holiday house which will be nice for all of us in the future and gives us some security for our old age ( that must be when we are over 100 as I refuse to admit they we are rapidly approaching old age )

Hypno thanks for your post you are one of the people I really respect on here so your advice is always welcome and yes I can see your skiing is very much like my charity giving important to us but most would see as complete luxuries when our debts are and in your case were so huge.

Funny I am off to find your diary so I will be watching your progress too. I try to be open and honest on here it helps me to get things in perspective and there isn't anyone in the "real" world other than my OH who I would discuss it with and even he would get fed up if I kept on about it all the time. Whereas on here we are all in very similar boats to a greater or lesser extent. The threads that have helped me the most have been the ones that have been warts and all and I appreciate the trust that other people place on us not judge when someone messes up but to provide encouragement and ideas to get over it.

I dread to think where we would be today if I had not found MSE feeling soppy again off to diary hunt

DTxx

funnyflipp

Well I am not around for the weekend (hiddious hours) but have suscribed and will be checking back
it's nice to find people with similar goals, I couldn't believe it when I saw your goal for the year was almoast identical to mine
I think what I have been missing is the shove of people who can post along with me, as you said warts and all helps.

Well done on the weight, I can't beleive I let mine get this bad but hey ho that could be said for a lot of things!
Good luck on the running I shall be keeping an eye on your progress as I am not a "natural" runner but am doing the Moonwalk this year
and have decided I migt tackle running after that

xx

Gemmzie

DT, have you not posted an SOA or not done an honest SOA? Because there's miles of difference. If you've done an honest, workable SOA then it doesn't matter if you don't want to post it but if it's not done - then you aren't being honest with yourself.

Double_Trouble

Gemmzie wrote: »

DT, have you not posted an SOA or not done an honest SOA? Because there's miles of difference. If you've done an honest, workable SOA then it doesn't matter if you don't want to post it but if it's not done - then you aren't being honest with yourself.

Oh yes I have now done a very honest and complete SOA I know exactly what I have to spend on what just a pity I didn't do one even just for myself in Sep 08. However it may have been a step too far then we have come a long way and perhaps I needed to go through that process to get where we are today.

Funnyflipp my debt repayment target for this year was set before I knew about our further income cut so at the moment we are not going to reach anywhere near it but I have left it to see how close we get as I wouldn't know what target to set at the moment. In fact I must update my figures I have paid a bit more off need to sort the figures out.

DTXX

gilligansyle

Just catching up.

Don't feel guilty - in fact, that's exactly why my diary is called what it is:D and I needed the wake up call to take it all seriously enough. In fact, I'm in danger of drifting again, so need a kick every now and again too!
Your income was enough that you didn't need to take drastic measures, that's now changed. These things happen and you just have to move on and make the best of it.

P.S could you PM me your address:)

mooomin

Oh for the love of the wee man, I thought from your post on Hypno's thread you had bought a car or something!!

Don't beat yourself up. DFW only works if you do the things that suit you. For example, I love the PAD thread and couldn't have paid off my debts without it but others can't make it work for them.

It's swings and debt-laden roundabouts, innit?!

*hug*

MrsMoo2U

DT - why are you even thinking that you need a kick up the bum? You have done what needed to be done over the last couple of years with regards to money, ie quidco etc. We all start somewhere and baby steps (or mouse bites as cheery calls them) are sometimes all that is required. You have been paying your debts off but still living which means that, at the time, you were living within your means at that moment. Some people still havent started paying debts off and kept minimum payments and that might be right for them at that time. Now your circumstances have changed you simply need to tweek your budgets and planning. Thats it end of. As for justifiying what you spend your money on - well others can give opinions but you dont have to justify anything to anybody other than you and OH. SOAs dont need to be published, I have never published one. Like you I have a very honest one and I know where my money goes. So once you know this maybe you can pick out bits where you think you could save and need some advice from others that you are happy to open up to. For example, I am currently wittering on about buying a car. Do we need a second car, can we afford a second car etc. Use your diary to sound out your ideas but you dont have to take the advice either.

As for holidays. You littlies will be referring to the things that they do at the house because they enjoy them. It wont really be about where the house is more about the time and effort that you put into entertaining them. This for children usually directly relates to holidays because that is the time that parents actually (NOT judging here) have to put the effort in to entertain kids without other things in their way. The idea to take them to the beach, forest with lists etc is spot on. They will enjoy that. How about flying kites, having a barbecue on the beach etc. Sounds like you (as do I ) live in a beautiful place could you do a house swap with somebody in a city that you like the look of in the UK and do some sightseeing with them. Also there are the Megatrain deals that you could make use of to go to cities for days out. I bet that this time next year the kids will be talking about what you do at your everday house as much as the holiday house. Then when you get to the holiday house next time it will be extra special for them.

Sorry for long post.

Double_Trouble

Thanks for all the lovely posts and I know you are right about the baby steps and hindsight is a wonderful thing. Also I am very impatient and I realise if we had been budgeting properly we would have been much further along the debt free road but we are on the journey and thats what counts

Love the holiday ideas cheri - but house swap :eek: that is a step too far I would have to clean to within an inch of my life and I would definitely need a holiday then and also OS is usually home when we are away and invites his mates round so I don't think house swappers would be very amused especially when I spotted a picture on fb last year with my lounge completely devoid of furniture with a drum kit set up (placed on a rug though to protect the floor :cool:) if it hadn't been for the curtains I wouldn't have realised it was my lounge:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:OS was surprised too when I asked him about as it was one of his mates that tagged DDs partner it

I am a very last minute person work better under stress etc. well last night it worked to my advantage as I hadn't booked my hotel room for tomorrow night and when I checked my emails I had a travelodge discount so I am now staying in one of my least favourite travelodges just down the road from where I normally stay (it does say it has been recently refurbished so heres hoping) for £20.95 just under £30 less than where I normally stay and it is only for one night although I will miss the brilliant shower and much comfier room in the other hotel and the staff are really nice there but £30 is better in my pocket than theirs:D

Grr to banks though my card kept being declined and I couldn't use another one because travelodge charge if you use a cc instead of a debit card and I was beginning to think the online discount was a con and that you couldn't actually book it but it turns out that my bank's fraud department had put a stop on the transaction even though I had used verified by visa a bit OTT I think not exactly a suspicious transaction but anyway sorted now.

Gill I will pm you my address I am intrigued;)

DTxx