The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

jo1972

I can't tell you all how happy I am, I have found the tool to beat this

jo1972

Had a pretty rough couple of weeks and 1 or 2 of you know why, thank you to you for the support through it xx

I won't be a stranger RN, have no need to be anymore, I have nothing to hide from xx

cazzasmazza

Sorry to post a down post, given the current positivity, but it's also so nice to read lots of positive things.

I don't feel like me any more. Happy Caz, successful Caz, motivated Caz, hard working Caz - she doesn't exist at the moment. And hasn't done for a long while.

I've been drinking every day over the last week. Maybe because I can?? Here in this swanky house (I am house-sitting) undisturbed, this beautiful house with all the things and more I don't have and will never have. And it's a house full of booze (honestly, you have never seen so much alcohol - they have a fully stocked bar, it's ridiculous) and i was given free reign to help myself to whatever I wanted. My friends don't know of my bad relationship with alcohol. I keep it secret, as I know a lot of us do. So I have been drinking without reserve.

I have a large vodka now - it's a lovely way to spend a Sunday. It isn't of course, but I thought that when i started drinking. Free, unfettered drinking. I appall myself. But I am carrying on - wallowing in my own misery and drunkeness. And that appalls me, but it doesn't stop me.

When will it stop? It won't stop. I am an alcoholic and it won't ever stop. I keep thinking that when my life problems get better (which isn't going to happen any time soon) I will stop drinking, as they are related.

But it won't stop. Do I want it to stop? I do. I want it all to stop.

But i don't have the strength to stop.

Love you all,

Caz
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

penelopedee_2

Caz, hugs hun. Try and look after yourself.

I can tell you to pour it down the sink and put the kettle on - if you want

penelopedee_2

jo1972 wrote: »

I can't tell you all how happy I am, I have found the tool to beat this

Jo your post so cheered me up this morning. Good luck x

cazzasmazza

penelopedee wrote: »

Caz, hugs hun. Try and look after yourself.

I can tell you to pour it down the sink and put the kettle on - if you want

I have that option, I know that.

I haven't done it, because I am too scared and weak to live my life sober. Too much to deal with. I know I could deal with things much better sober, but it feels too hard to do.

Therein lies the problem.

Caz
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honeybear_2

SoS, good luck for tomorrow

randomname_3

Sorry HB I meant to say I hope you get better very soon.

Caz If you haven't read back over the past 24 hours I suggest you do. There are some really helpful posts. Hope all comes good for you. I know what you mean about Sundays though.

SOS good luck for tomorrow. Go knock em out.

CharlesCooper222

cazzasmazza wrote: »

I am an alcoholic

Love you all,

Caz
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Caz. You know the truth. You've faced the hardest part.

Alcohol is an addiction - that's all. An addiction that ANYONE can fall into - and get out of.

You don't have a personality failure.

You're house sitting a nice house at the moment aren't you? So you must be a decent person and trustworthy - despite what the alcohol wants you to believe...

All the other stuff - your life, misery, envy, whatever, is nothing to do with you. That's alcohol as well.

When we drink, all these emotions merge in our drunken state to become one problem that never gets fixed. Even when we think we're sober.

And the addictive nature of alcohol keeps telling us it is the only answer. It isn't.

You have to kick that little rat into touch and move on.

Today might not be the day, you have a glass in your hand. But don't worry.

You've done the hardest part. The rest will follow.

StressedOutSue

jo1972 wrote: »

Sue, will you be joining me and HB for a FALSS?

Very good luck for tomorrow, I shall be thinking of you xx

Yes, count me in, please Jo, and thanks!