Dumb in debt and danger

bluejeans53

Hiya Jo,

GET OUT NOW or as quick as it will take to find safe shelter, My first marriage was abusive. I was promised so many times "it wont happen again" S*d the debt for the moment and get to saftey with your children, this alone when make you stronger. Your family will be there for you, they will not see you homeless or starve and that is all you need concentrate on at the moment, shelter, warmth and food. Mine family were shocked "they though the sun shone from his *rse, he was different in public. They were so there for me. Bulling, abusive cowards have the ability to make everything thing look like its your fault.

I will watch this space with great concern.

BIG HUGS

Tish_P

Good luck Jo. The debt is scary but it is only money and *you* matter more than any sum of money. Besides you will be in a better state to deal with finances when you have got your life and confidence back together a bit. Get in touch with a women's refuge and put your safety first.

Wishing you all the best in this terrible situation.

bluejeans53

Hiya Jo, somewhere along the line a page of your thread went missing at my end ?

Brilliant that you went to the housing officer and you have priority status. You will feel stronger with each step you make. Keep going Girl, you are on the right track.

Iam sure your family will store bits and pieces for you for your move, use every trick in the book. As you know know, everyone in your thread will let you know what tricks they.

Hugs

RAS

jo

I assume that your OH goes out to work for a full day? Does he ever make a long day of it?

You have 6 children and good parents; that's 6-9 people who could gut the house whilst he was out, depending on how much you think you could let the youngest know.

Yes you need to "sort out stuff that you want to put on e-bay" so that you have the stuff you want to take collected together. if your elder children and parents can start collecting large cardboard boxes now and dismantling them, you could get them into the house, tape the bases up and fill in a very short time if one person took one room, literally open the drawer, grab the contents and put in the box and tape the top. Someone needs to do the kitchen and living rooms more carefully but if you know what you want, it should not take long to wrap up the most useful and prized possessions.

Beds, "spring-clean" and use the opportunity to undo and redo the bolts or allen key points on any metal frames, then you know where the required tools are and they will come apart in minutes.

Old furniture that is worn out, leave. Check out the Furniture Recycling Network for replacements http://www.frn.org.uk/. They need a referral from a social worker or housing officer.

Be discrete by packing in the house and then whack it all in a large hired van in about an hour and you could be away before he even knows about it

bluejeans53

Jo,

Internet is free at the library and safe, if its not safe at home. You can access this forum from the library, some sites are retricted but this one is not, well not at mine, hope its the same for you.

Hugs

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Just pay the debts that are in your name and leave the rest to him! You're better off without him. Good luck and stick with your decision no matter what.

AMD

Magnolia

Jo - I know this is a frightening situation but don't be nervous or frightened. You have a great support network around you with your family and now the authorities are involved then you will have protection as well.

Dont ever be afraid of calling the police if you feel threatened or vulnerable - you have a right to live your life in safety and without threat so hang in there and do what RAS suggests (great post btw RAS) Start to involve trusted members of your family and make a plan for your 'great escape'.

You may not think you can do it but with a bit of support you will manage it.

I will be thinking of you sweetie.

Woowoo

Jo just wanted to say good luck & were all thinking of you x

midgetsmum

I've had customers on who've had court orders taken out against their former partners to keep them from making claims for benefits for their children. In a lot of cases the former spouse will only make the claim as they know it will cause trouble (CB payments are stopped while a claim is in dispute), so when you get away from that house I would advise you to see what advice your solicitor could give you about that option.

I really hope this goes well for you Jo, good luck!!!

DreamerHelen

Jo, just posting to say that I really hope you're okay and that you've managed to get away from him and I hope you and your Children are now safe.

Let us know how you are if you can.

Lots of Love and to say that I'm thinking of you.