Dumb in debt and danger

determined_new_ms

are you ok Jo? Just read this & I feel sad & very concerned for you. Women in domestically violent relationship are in the biggest danger when they attempt to leave their partners. I think its really important you delete all history from your comp. Get an emergency bag together of the things that are absolutely necessary & leave at the earliest chance. Please contact Women's aid & get help. If you're anywhere near me (kent) I'll come & get you & your children. My thoughts are with you x

sp1987

Make sure you protect your computer adequately from him finding this thread until you can get yourself somewhere safe.

You only get one life and being miserable and downtrodden by someone who doesn't deserve your time is no life. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate you and treat you properly (plus with 6 kids loneliness will never be something you'll suffer from I'm sure, lol).

Don't feel guilty, whoever ran the debts up (and it sounds like him!) it's only money and he has acted awfully for a long time from what you have said. Your safety is so much more important than that.

No reason to stay for another 22 years, or even another 22 hours. Please keep reminding yourself that it isn't normal. You talk like it is your fault and it isn't. You say how he isn't 'all bad' but he is. The fact he may have 1 or 2 minutes a week when he is bearable does not make the times when he hits you worth anything.

He sounds really awful. I'm so sorry somebody has treated you like that

rosiedee

I have nothing constructive to add to all the advice that has been offered, just wanted to wish you good luck and god bless.

DreamerHelen

I don't have anything constructive to add but, like others, I didn't want to read and run.

This Man (if I could Call him that) clearly doesn't care about you and is treating you in an appalling way...and I am so glad that you are getting out.

As others have said, please just gather the things of utmost importance (kids photo's, birth certificate, passport) and just go...Refuge are very very good and they will help you feel safe for what I imagine will be the first time in a long time...and you should feel safe, you have the right to feel safe!!

I don't know if I could help but please please feel free to PM me if you need a listening ear....

Good Luck and keep us updated as to how things are for you...

Hell1

Hello Jo,
I am hoping you will post again to let us know you are ok. This is a terribly difficult time for you, but to echo what others have said, you need to put yourself in a position of safety. Your family and children may be able to help, or a refuge, if you think their places would be the first place he would look. My advice would be to leave, tell all your family and friends to expect him, so they can be prepared. You can build your life again without this man. Debts are not as important as your family, your health and your safety.

Take care,

Hell

SuzySu

Hi Jo

Just came back on here to check that you're ok. Please post when you can to let us know how things are going. Hope you are ok hun.

Ames

Things might have changed but when I lived in a Refuge 11 years ago they could organise for a policeman to go back with you to get your stuff when the ex would be out, so just take the important stuff, documents etc.

jo6

Thanks again everyone,

Went to Housing Executive and a very nice lady there told me that its not my fault and I need to get out. I have received high points and she is ringing around other offices today so that I am a priority..

Feeling nervous but good at the moment (long may it last).

Percy1983

Just picked up this thread, all I can say is sorry this is happened, its times like this I am embarrassed to say I am the same species as such people.

You are making all the right moves and its seems there is many people who know a lot more than me on what to do.

I hope it all figures out for you.

BlimusOreilly

jo6 wrote: »

Thanks again everyone,

Went to Housing Executive and a very nice lady there told me that its not my fault and I need to get out. I have received high points and she is ringing around other offices today so that I am a priority..

Feeling nervous but good at the moment (long may it last).

Jo, this will turn out well for you now that you are seeking help. The relief you will feel will far outweigh all the worry of being in this over-poweringly stressful and dangerous situation. And then when you have yourself out of harms way the debt will get sorted too. I can almost guarantee that when you come to face the debt, it will be somewhat of an epiphany for you and life will change for the better.
Just want to add my support and best wishes.