I would really like a 3rd baby

Emmamumof2

onlyroz wrote: »

I think a conflict often arises in stay-at-home-mums when their youngest reaches school-age. Mum suddenly starts feeling useless because she's at home with not a lot to do anymore. So the choice seems to be to either carry on as they are pottering about in an empty house, to get a job (and hence feel like you're losing your "mum" identity), or to fill up the house with another baby.

In these circumstances I'd say that most of the time you're better off finding something more productive to do with your life, rather than feeling that the only thing you're good at is raising babies.

That really is very presumptious. I am very productive in my life. I actually run my own business and at the moment, due to redundancy, my husband does more running around after the kids than I do. It has meant that in the last year my business has become much busier and he is a brilliant dad spending time with both children, quality time. I am good at many things, not least being a Mum to my two kids, Despite the fact that I work like crazy, sometimes putting in very long days, I'd still like to think I have something more to offer by way of another child. I certainly do not feel that by working I have lost my "Mum identity" - in fact I think we have both instilled a really good work ethic in our kids and they understand that Dad can do just as good job as I can with reading the Oxford books they have at infant school and potato painting, to mention a couple of things he has done today.

If we decide to have another child it wont be because I need something to make me feel important or because I feel I have nothing productive left to do with my time (I wish) - it will be because we decide its the right thing for our family and because we have more than enough love to go around, a big enough house and we can afford it.

meritaten

I think some people have a 'feeling' about the size of the family they need. for some its one child or two or three or four or more! for me, I loved the thought of three children and thats what I had. family complete! I can understand that the OP has two gorgeous children but hankers after another one - in HER mind three is the ideal - but OH isnt of the same mind? difficult situation but time and talking may resolve that. either OP will realise that two is enough or OH will realise that the OP really WANTS another child! Its not up to forum posters to decide on the size of this family! thats between OP and OH! oh and mother nature may be the deciding factor!

poet123

Our fourth was a huge surprise:eek: but has been the light of our lives, and is adored by his brothers and everyone who meets him. So we would niot change a thing, OH did have the snip though when I was eight months pregnant.:rotfl:

onlyroz

Emmamumof2 wrote: »

That really is very presumptious. I am very productive in my life. I actually run my own business and at the moment, due to redundancy, my husband does more running around after the kids than I do. It has meant that in the last year my business has become much busier and he is a brilliant dad spending time with both children, quality time. I am good at many things, not least being a Mum to my two kids, Despite the fact that I work like crazy, sometimes putting in very long days, I'd still like to think I have something more to offer by way of another child. I certainly do not feel that by working I have lost my "Mum identity" - in fact I think we have both instilled a really good work ethic in our kids and they understand that Dad can do just as good job as I can with reading the Oxford books they have at infant school and potato painting, to mention a couple of things he has done today.

If we decide to have another child it wont be because I need something to make me feel important or because I feel I have nothing productive left to do with my time (I wish) - it will be because we decide its the right thing for our family and because we have more than enough love to go around, a big enough house and we can afford it.

Well you're hardly a stay-at-home-mum then, are you? You've obviously found something productive to do in addition to raising your children.

nancy17

Emmamumof2 wrote: »

We are a married couple with 2 children, 6 years married, son who is just 5 (conceived 4 months after marriage) and 2 year daughter - both planned.
I really really would like a 3rd - we live in a house big enough and can afford to have a 3rd, thankfully, but my hubby isnt as keen as me - he says now our daughter is almost out of nappies that in a year or so we will have more dependence and he doesnt really want to consider a 3rd.
Whilst I consider what he is saying carefully I also think he is being a little short sighted -
Has anyone else had a 3rd when their other hasnt been as keen and got any words of wisdom - bad or good - perhaps I need a reality check not him but also perhaps he is being a little bit quick to say definitely no - I would never consider going behind his back, I want it to be a joyous realisation if we did decide to go for it and have another, but if we dont I would also like to think that would be a joint decision rather than me feeling like he just says no - if you know what I mean.
I hate when people say, but you have one of each why would you want another!? My decision would not be any different if I had two boys or two girls, my desire is based purely upon wanting another little one -
Help!

I've been in your shoes with my ex-husband. I have boy/girl twins and everyone says "why don't you call it good with one of each" he always said we could afford more with just 2 and they're out of the baby stage and healthy so cal it good. I still want a 3rd and as long as age isn't an issue for you, give it some time and see if he comes around.

catkins

As one of three I swore when I had children I would never ever have 3 (or any odd number). As it turned out I decided not to have any.

Emmamumof2

I have heard that from a few people who have been one of three, but some of my closest friends are one of three and they have never had a bad word to say about it, I suppose everyone has differing experiences in life and we all just go about it doing the best we can for ourselves and our families in whatever situation we find ourselves in. All of my hubby's relatives have had three children and they are all as happy as you like! My husband hasn't got a bad word to say about his memories growing up!!

mumOf2wonderfulkids

oh my , i could have written that myself

i have one of each, almost 7 yr old girl and a 3 and a half yr old boy (who starts school next year *sniff*) and i am so broody it's unbelievable. i've wanted a third one since my little man was small but my hubby is dead set that he doesn't want anymore. im still fairly young so have a good few years to change his mind but i am finding that as time goes on, especially with ds at nursery a few days a week, that having those few hours during the day to crack on with the housework etc is actually quite nice. i work part time so do occasionally go into work while the kids are at school to pic up some extra flexi hours to spend during the holidays etc. Now i'm not too fussed about having a baby right now (ifykwim) but in a few years will definately discuss it but i dont see myself as not having another one.

one thing that bugs me a little about dh tho is he has said to me that if the two we have were the same sex then he would have agreed to a third, but because we have one of each he says no way to anymore

i also came from a family of 3 kids with no issues. My Aunty on the other hand, has 13 kids!! (she really should have invested in a tele!)