Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Judampre wrote: »

Hi Ani stroke affected my left side. doing things one handed is difficult. most things seem to take an age and gettin underwear on is a bit hit and miss. I've discovered who my friends are - most surprising! and life has taken on a different perspective. not being able to get out is very claustrophobic and the all consuming tiredness which I'm told is common makes even simple tasks huge. DD1 took me out for a meal before I came home and it was a 'steak night' I just looked at it having no idea how I was going to eat it and then suffered the indignity of having my food cut up for me. glad you enjoyed your f & c

Life. You are dying from the minute you are born. Most people don't understand my insane obsession to analyse everything into oblivion, but i can't help it. It's who i am. :rotfl:


I'm sorry you are having difficulties, too. They say we start life as an infant, being looked after. All the from childhood to adulthood and reverting back to childhood and having to be looked after. Difficult to accept? Impossible to accept?

I was just reading this.


The Paradox of Living Life

"This post is meant to be a gentle reminder to one of the basic facts about life, and to inspire you to live your life to the fullest.
This basic fact is: “The moment you are born, you are simultaneously dying”…let that sink in for a bit….
Life only exists because of death, and death exists because of life, they are polar opposites of the same thing, one can’t exist without the other.
The problem is that when we cling to life, we then become afraid of death. We cling to life, because most of us never enjoy life in its totality, so we become afraid of death, which is the root cause of all our fears.
We are constantly on a search for an ultimate feeling of aliveness, of permanent peace, somewhere in the distant future. A place where everything will be ok, a land full of magnificent double rainbows and where pretty unicorns await our arrival.
We are constantly postponing life for this imagined world, so if death comes a knocking, we say “please… not yet…I still have not lived my life..what about the unicorns?” But why are we even seeking in the first place? It is essential to understand the seeker, before you try to find out what it is he is seeking.

Overcoming The Fear of Death

The reality is that whatever fulfillment we are searching for is available to us in this very moment, it is the first and last freedom.
When you learn to live every moment of your life for its own sake, each moment will then be lived totally, you will use it all up, no matter how mundane. You will be constantly fulfilled.
When each moment is lived totally, the fear of death begins to disappear. You quit clinging to life and actually start to live it, you go beyond fear.
Next time you are impatiently waiting for the future to arrive, remember that whatever you’re waiting for to happen, will happen, but don’t sacrifice these precious moments just because you think the future is going to be better.
Sacrificing a moment that is truly alive in this very instant, for something that does not exist, will keep you in bondage and in a constant state of fear. You’re destroying the delicate thing called life.
In reality life is just one continuous moment; past and future are only concepts of our mind. The question then is, when it’s all said and done, was the majority of your life spent alive in the moment?…or where you already dead in the past and future?
My message to you is, don’t wait, waiting is a waste of time, wake up and live your life here and now. Be alert, be sensitive to live, discover your awareness within.
When you realize that every moment you are living you are simultaneously dying, you see the simplicity of life, you need to relax and be at ease with it.
Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, keep your awareness on your breath and just be. Guess what? Your home,you have arrived, no where to go, this is all there is and all there will ever be, so take it all in. Beautiful isn’t ?
Live your life totally and whenever death comes, welcome it, it allowed you to live."





Most people live in fear of dying, but i never have. Odd?

ani_26

Since nowadys we live life in the fast lane with all the stress this entails, i have now decided i will have one day a week, when i do nothing. Absolutely nothing. No plans. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do that. I'm not even going to do the gardening, although who knows, this may change at some point?

The point of this is there is nothing to achieve. Not even the washing up. Does it matter? No, it's not important. In the olden days, we all had a day of rest. Traditionally, sunday was a day of rest. In these changing times of work work work, shiftwork, cleaning, shopping, or whatever it may be, this isn't always possible to be a sunday. But everyone should have a day when they shake off that pressure to do that " something, " whatever it may be?

For me, at the moment, sunday is MY day. Duly deep cleansed in mind, body and spirit, i am now messing about on the computer. Well, i can't do much, so i'm just messing. But i am going to go and have a relax and do absolutely NOTHING.


In fact, sunday isn't hugely removed from other days, at the moment. But at least i've given myself "permission" to do nowt, :rotfl:although it has to be said i don't put myself under pressure to " achieve" anything anyday, at the moment, because i can't. But it's a good theory having a day when you have permission?

ani_26

Thinking about it, this still applies in some religions doesn't it. It's a very sane approach to life.

With that, i've just seen my plants which definitely need watering, in the name of life?

Ok. I shall go and water my plants, and that is it.

ani_26

Another day when i don't have the energy to do anything constructive? Well maybe not. But methinks the plants need watering again. Ah well, the rains are on the way? Which also means the sc's are on their way. Yep the small amount of foliage i have, is already peppered with holes, They came out of hibernation and returned to the best eatery in the area, several weeks ago. Little booga's. Do i care? I don't have the energy. :rotfl: Made my one phone call of the day. I'm having the NEW kitchen shelves repaired < sigh > Still, that was quick.


I was watching s & s. For all those bb's, it's shocking the amount of people who don't know what help they are entitled to. Or where to look to get it. Then there's the small question of those who are simply too proud. Makes you think what the system could? be like.

Erme

Okay Ani...

Sunday being a day of rest. Kind of though not a day of rest so much as a day of rest from the world...

Watering your plants is fine...as is feeding any small furries (I want two more after holidays LOL...shall have to think about it and debate social worker's ire LOL). Also try and get out for some air just to notice the air and do some mindfulness

Even if this is just sitting in the garden noticing the sights and sounds and smells (or just the sounds and smells)

So yeah Sunday/Christian Sabbath/Lord's Day - day for the soul though not necessarily a day of rest? Maybe you can make it that? Just a thought?

E

ani_26

A day of rest is good for the soul?


Religion has been tried and tested, believe me, but somehow, i just don't connect with it. I went to an " alternative meeting" a few months ago, and although they were very kindly and i'd love to go again, i just don't connect with the whole religious package, as it were, and as such, i would feel a fraud. However, i still don't believe it makes you any lesser of a person, if you are not religious.

ani_26

NL, do you still have any of that slug repellent? I've forgotten what it was. :rotfl:



Thanks

ani_26

I guess it's time for closure with this particular diary, as i'm now debt free, and not for the first time in my life, but hopefully, it will be the last.


Some might question becoming insolvent twice in rapid succession, but the second time honestly was circumstances completely out of my control. Looking back, it bought time and kept an irreplaceable roof over my head. I don't want to dwell on it, now. It's all gone. All in the past?

Life is on a level path at the moment, although i know nothing is forever. I still have health issues, and there is still a long road ahead. I still don't do futures, and live very much in the minute.


You never know who you are going to meet on the internet, as you hear all the time, you never know what to believe. But there are some good people, and i certainly was genuine. I'd like to thank all those who helped me along the way, even by conversing with me. That alone, was sometimes, all i had at the time. My special thanks to miggy, who i will never forget, she will always remain in my heart and i still hope that one day we will meet. Also special thanks to Flaxseed, i will never forget your kindness. SSA and RD, your plants are still thriving. Which is more than can be said for the chocklit plants. They didn't survive the winter. However, my gardens this year, have been beautiful, and everyone who passes, comments. Oh yes, green fingered, i am. Thanks to everyone who supported me through, if only with words, what can only be described as a living nightmare. Some things still haven't been resolved, but these days, i avoid stress of any sort, wherever possible, maybe they will, maybe they won't be resolved. My objective is to remain debt free and to keep a roof over my head, on a daily basis.There are some things which should never be taken for granted?

kerri_gt

Hey Ani, not sure if you will read this or not based on your post but I just wanted to say it's so good to hear from you. It sounds like you are in a better place now than at times before and I sincerely hope you continue along that journey. As you say, the internet is full of people, some genuine and some not so, but my good wishes and thoughts for you have always been of the former. Your garden sounds delightful, and even though the chocklit plants might not have made it through the winter, they have gone back to the ground to help other plants grow so are still in your garden in a way. Right, well that's me getting far too philosophical for a Sunday so I'll sign off by saying look after yourself Ani, remember that I (and I'll not be alone) will be thinking of you and wishing you well xx

beanielou

Ani~I can only echo Kerri's words.
Was just thinking of you just the other day.
Take care xx