Life after bankruptcy?

delicious_2

Hello Nohope. You don't know me at all but I'm a friend of Kit, So Sad Angel and Phil.

I'll start with the part about i've heard you have had to deal with some negativity on MSE. I have read your diary, I too had a diary going through bankruptcy and repossession and can tell you that every thing you write, every thing that you are emotionally going through just now smacks of bankruptcy and repossession. I know, all the bankrupt lot know, only we could know how hard it is.

Let me tell you this. No one really is bothered at all about your bankruptcy. No one. We think they are, we think it's obvious to every one butnope. Just us. We beat ourselves up so flaming rotten about it. I went BR in August last year, both DH and I did. The month after we were moving out of our home taking our then 5 year old and 1 year old to a new place entireley, new school. Man it was horrible. There's no describig in words how bad you feel, how rotten you feel for having to do this, The sense of loss mixed with despair mixed with stupidity for 'doing this to your self' is immense.

Mate listen, listen really carefully when I say gradually it does get better, slowly, very slowly but it does and it will. You'll take one step forward and two back but it's progress. last year was a horrible year. I lost all material things that mattered but I lost my confidence and self respect and in all honesty It's only very recently that I've began to sit up and work on getting myself well again.

Because your feeling so so bad is a testament to what a good good person you are. You won't believe it just yet, probably won't understand it but let me asure you that every thing you're feeling is correctto the text book procedure. I learned that during my psychology studies out of the blue. Smacked me in the face and allowed me to feel I wasn't a fruit loop... just text book. It's like the stages of grief it really is.

So, you're not the only one feeling the way you do, many of us have been there and can smile now. You will again. If me the silly sod I am can do it and over come it can do it you will. One day in the not to to to distant future you'll get through a whole day of not thinking about bankrupty and at that point is when you can begin to move on. It will come.

All these words won't matter to you because you'regoing through a process but I want you to remember what everyone has said to you hrough this. All the supportive suff, forget the negative crap, non of that is real. The supportive words is what you have to remember if you ever hit on a low point. Never let it beat you, as it's you doing the beating yourself up, don't ever let the demons win because it does get better. It does get better x

So_Sad_Angel

delicious wrote: »

Hello Nohope. You don't know me at all but I'm a friend of Kit, So Sad Angel and Phil.


Because your feeling so so bad is a testament to what a good good person you are. You won't believe it just yet, probably won't understand it but let me asure you that every thing you're feeling is correctto the text book procedure. I learned that during my psychology studies out of the blue. Smacked me in the face and allowed me to feel I wasn't a fruit loop... just text book. It's like the stages of grief it really is.

Hi NH.....if I were you I would read Deli`s post a couple of times ....she really, really knows her stuff & has been on such an epic journey of life (whilst looking after a her family too) that is a testament to her resiliance, strength & hope.

I can only echo your sentiments Deli that life does get better, its not the same by any means, but it is a more grounded life with appreciation in the things that matter rather than the materialistic stuff that often does not.

NH...I hope all is well & if I were you I would be so looking forward to sea air!! Wow will be quite a change for you but I know that you will make the most of every walking opportunity.

Angiexx

crumbling

nohope, I am so looking forward to hearing about what you decide to do when the shackles ease. You must do something spontaneous, something just for you to help you to feel good and yes, stuff what anyone else thinks x

miggy

Nohope wrote: »

Lots of walking next week. Lots of fresh sea air.

You are right, you so deserve a break and a let-up of the pressure. Soon you'll be in a different place mentally as well as physically. You'll have new horizons and somewhere on them will be new possibilities.
I can see you've got great friends and support here, too - people who know what they're talking about and really have your interests at heart.

When you get back on line, please let us know how you are.

ani_26

I did'nt expect to be back online quite so soon. However i'm still here' recovering ', so i might as well complete me diary to remind myself. I really should rename my diary to ' it could only happen to me '. It COULD only happen to me. Someone up there, must really hate me. I know they do. Still online, obviously, so might as well use the internet before i go. Because i was nearly ready to go. 3 hours ago. Then i heard a loud bang, as did all the neighbours. I came running down the stairs to find someone had hit my car. I knew there was a loud bang. Not just another car. A bloody horse waggon. Stupid mare. Taken out the side of my car, and driven off. Wing mirror, tyre, alloys, dented and scraped right along the side.

That was enough. I've reached my limits now. Totally distraught, the foodgates opened, they have damaged my beautiful car. No regard, to anyone. But i was fotunate, two of my neighbours saw it happen, and knew who it was. So i've had to go and find them and sort it out. Theres no need to get upset they said. No need to get upset? Its alright for you, you're not me. But it really pushed me over the edge, and i could'nt stop sobbing. My beautiful car - trashed. And i've got somebody's wheel nuts, just in case they change their mind, and deny it. But the thing is, whose wheel nuts are they? They don't appear to be mine, but i'm worried about driving back, all the same, especially at speed. But they could be their wheel nuts? Hmmm They must have given it a real whack. But i did hear the bang. But i'm keeping those wheel nuts for evidence, from whence they came. I can't afford my insurance premium to rise, when my car was stationary, and empty. So are they your wheel nuts? Maybe they did come off my car,No, everyone is fairly sure, they're not mine. Its still driveable, well it will have to be.

So now i've got to come back again tomorrow, which i did'nt want to do. My nieghbour has been helping me, the last few days. They said, did'nt you have an accident when you moved in? Its true. I'd forgotten. The day i moved in, some kids were looking at my car, and ran all the way down the side of it with their bike handlebars. Scratched right the way along. I was so upset then, too. So is'nt it fitting something would happen to my car, when i moved out. But now i've got to bloody come back again tomorrow, and an insurance claim to sort out ,into the bargain. I reckon they've probably done up to £1000' s worth of damage, and i'll be furious if they write my car off.Absolutely fuming. 15 year old car, with absolutely immaculate bodywork. In pristine condition. Mint. Was. Not now. Beautiful car. The only thing i have/ had. Don't get upset about it. Don't ******* get upset about it. YAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR


There now, thats better. No its not. It is'nt. It bloody is'nt. What have i ever done wrong?

I can't even be bothered to drive back now. This is an incredible story, is'nt it? Who could ever believe this? Well all my neighbours this afternoon, for sure. Gawd give me strength. Oh i forgot. You take it away from me.



Aaw bless. theres some trick or treaters just come round. A dozen or so 4 or 5 year olds, all dressed up, with pumpkin lanterns. But i'm not part of this community, anymore.

savingwannabe

Oh what a day. There are terrible days. I am so sorry. If you can survive this and you are you can survive anything. I admire you so much. Glad you spoke to the neighbours. You may feel you are not of the community but everyone has a place you will feel better after you have moved. Nearly there petal, nearly there.

beanielou

Sorry to hear that it just keeps coming.
Keep plodding x

Woowoo

That really, really sucks NH. I can understand why you feel like someone up there has it in for you at the moment

Fingers crossed they don't write your car off xxx

ani_26

Back again. Car loaded up. Just hope its ok. Maybe i'd better drive ahherm, not like i usually do. Just having a sit down now, because i'm too exhausted to move. Thats not quite how i planned it. Have to have an early start tomorrow now, and i've been awake since 3.00 am. Did'nt sleep well at all.

Thanks for all your posts today, guys. It has meant so much to me. Maybe i will have to swallow my pride and stop being so stubborn, ( i am an arian ), and accept offers of friendship, over this next week.At least i know its there if i need it. Even my neighbour said today, they could'nt see me struggling on my own.Thankyou all so much. x

No one at insurance company. Did'nt expect it , on a sunday. Got to mess around with that now, first thing tomorrow morning, and see if i can get my car repaired, for when i get back. Just another hassle, i don;t need, right now.So unavoidable. Some one should learn to drive, or pass a HGV test, to drive one of those things. My poor car, must be feeling like me, right now. I can't even get to my bed, i have'nt had chance to unpack, yet. I think i'll sleep on the sofa. I don't remember the last time i slept in my bed. I suppose it was monday or tuesday. I'm fed up of sleeping on the floor, now.

I can access the forum from my phone, though i don't know if i can reply. I have'nt set up an email, yet.Typical me.Thinking about it, i've lost my charger again, aaargh

Love to you all, Nohope xx

Geebee

Hugs.....