Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

I hope you are ok miggy? :grouphug: Another cheesy hug, anyway

Well, its a rhetorical question, since i'm talking to myself.

I don't know what to do with myself, this afternoon. I've done all the cleaning / tidying one could possibly do. I've done all the job searching, one could possibly do. Its too wet to repair the car. I've got everything i need, except the weather. I've done a small amount of food shopping this morning and this has got to last me for the indefinite future. No more spending, full stop. Thats alot of nsd's. I can't be bothered to do anything anymore. The temptation is to just go to sleep and never wake up again.

Life, or should i say work, has never been this bad before. How many weeks is it now? I've lost count, 3 or 4? Theres no point in going on jsa as i'd be even worse off. Whilst the odd days work still comes in, its more productive to work, both financially and emotionally. With the knowledge i won't have enough money to pay my bills soon and there is going to be little pay due in august, i just don't know how i'm going to manage again. Just what is the point in life? I live to work and if there is no work, there is no point in living. There is no point in living just to work. Not work from merely an emotionally satisfying point of view, but work as in the not ending up in a cardboard box on the streets, perspective. Its just inevitable. What is it july 2011? Its never ending. Just never ending

Aesop

Trying to reply from work but browser keeps closing.

Hello all, been busy, but not busy enough at home still got more stuff to do before in laws descend.

I hope it rains while they are here, so they cannot go into my jungle of garden.

DH reckons I can get it cleared in a day! He really does not have a clue!

Ani, can only offer ((((((((((((ani)))))))))) can only do this, as at work and IE keeps closing, something dodgy must be open

I have no advice to offer.

Hovel_lady

Sending (((hugs)) sorry life is so tough for you. Wish I had an answer x

beanielou

No answer from me either Im afraid.

ani_26

Thanks all xx

I know no one has the answer. The simple answer is a ' proper job ' with a guaranteed income. £15 or £20k would do nicely. At least it would bring some sort of structure to my life. But this isn't going to happen overnight. I question whether it is ever going to happen. How many years have i been trying? I'm just a huge failure, lets face it.

I wish i could come and help you, Aesop, but its a long walk. x

Talking of gardens, i never realised there i sweet pea specific show. I read about it yesterday, it was last weekend. I would have loved to have gone. Can you imagine, a show devoted to sweet peas? I still have'nt been given my sweet peas. However, my very sweet neighbour knocked on my door with a g & t this afternoon, ( this was after i was already feeling down ). Bless their little cotton socks.


I decided to tidy my car out and resist the strong urges to go to bed. Its easier to go to sleep. Then you don't have to worry about life and all its complexities. Since its a workhorse, it was due a tidy out. However its still not been washed and polished.

Which led me on to thinking about getting some insurance quotes. I'm having to seriously consider whether i should finally give up the ghost with these cars and sell, not that i'd find anyone to buy, in this economic climate. I've had some very stupid insurance quotes. Whilst they value the cars worth at next to nothing, i'm then quoted £4700 to insure. Yes. You read that right. £4700 to insure a car worth a few hundred quid. I'm torn whether i should just sell, in the knowledge i'll never afford to buy another car, ( and being an ex br, i can't get finance ). If i sell, i might get one months rent. One months rent, is one months rent, but i've tried selling before i went br, to no avail. It will seriously affect my job prospects, but i'm running out of steam, anyway.



Divine intervention. I've just been interrupted whilst writing this. The charity who paid for my br and various other bits and bats. How am i doing? Shameful. No change. I'm already in debt again. One of those low points again today. How did they know? Anyway, they are going to meet me this week to see if there is anything they can do to help. I can't keep taking handouts. I do have a small amount of pride left. However, i've been dedicated to the industry, and i still am, despite everything. No long term solutions, but i'll go and meet them, anyway.

kerri_gt

Hey Ani, sorry it's been a couple of days since I've popped onto your diary (errr...does that sound a bit iffy?) Unfortunately none of us have the answers that can solve your current situation, but you're not a failure, you're not alone, there are other people that find themselves in the same position of you - its sadly a circumstance of live and a carpy hand being dealt, which is totally unfair.

Don't let pride get in the way of the charity helping you, I know it's much easier said than done and you're prob thinking 'what does she know, she's not in my position and she's not me' - you're right. But these charities are there to help people and there really isn't any shame in accepting help, we all need it from time to time in one form or another.

I'm sure in the past and/or future you'll pay that help on to others. Perhaps you already are by letting us into your diary and teaching us about being strong and surviving and having the will/passion/desire to make your life better for yourself standing on your own two feet. Just sometimes though we all need a helping hand :A x

Hovel_lady

I second what kerri gt says. Do let the charity help you if they can. Afterall it's what they're there for.
((hugs))

Firewalker

Good evening, Ani and big hugs. I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and that you are 'no hope' again. I wish there is something I could do but all I could do here is to let you know that I am thinking about you and I am sending wishes to the Universe to give you a break (you know I am a witch in training, don't you). But you hVe to be ready to recognise the break the Universe would offer; till you believe that you are a failure you can't do that.

I, just like many on here, know that you are so much more; please do all possible to get the support you need from wherever you can get it - charity, Jsa...Please!

Firewalker

miggy

Me again... a bit weary from travel and seeing to an old house that has decided to come apart at the seams, so I haven't any sparkling insights to offer, just want to second what these lovely peeps are saying... accept what help you can, you will find a time and place to pay back.

Remember other times when you've been in the position to give? I suppose now it's someone else turn, but it will be your turn again.

And HOW MUCH for the insurance? Do you do your own stunts or something?

JSA - I take it you can't claim if you work even one day?

And thanks for the hugs. I felt quite down at first but once the family had gone home I got into 'Mum's house mode' and actually got a few useful things done. Glad to be back - nearly got diverted a very long way as I didn't spot until two minutes before I caught the train that I had been given a ticket to somewhere very different!

I did think of you on the car journey over there - I expect you've been over Saddleworth more often even than I have but what I didn't expect, it being July, was a few miles of fog. That was, of course, the day when we were short of one light. Never mind, got there and back.

Catch up tomorrow.

Aesop

well we can do this

I can offer you one of these

and maybe one of these