Life after bankruptcy?

miss_spooky

Ok, each council must have a different scheme, as ours doesn't pay the dep as you say, but they guarentee to the landlord that the house will be looked after & that any damage will be taken when T eventually leaves. So they are guarenteeing what a dep would cover.

Ours tries to push everyone into the provate rental market under this scheme as there are so few social houses.

Hope the place you found comes off. It's a start, may not be a good one, but it's a start & a step in the right direction.

It's taken my oh & I 6 yrs to be able to afford to eat out, esp with the kids now. We've gone out twice this month - Pizza Hut & Harvester cheep deals - and now they want to know when are we going out again...lol.

ani_26

I'm blinded by the illuminations !! Thanks now x

Thanks miss spooky x Yes,thats exactly what the council is trying to do, get you into private rented, but there's a shortage there too. They say there are landlords who will give people like me, a ' chance ' , i think they have lists of these people, but theres a shortage there, too. I think the landlords recieve support from the council to do this.

I've found somewhere, with alot of extension of the truth, shall we say, and i am slightly concerned what will happen, when they find out. But if you have no other option? At least i've got a roof over my head, and to be honest, a really nice one, at that. Its only temporary, for 6 months, and i need to find somewhere thats my own space. so in the meantime, i'll continue with this never ending wait with the council, for whatever they can find.

Nohope xx

Angiepange

Nohope wrote: »

I'm blinded by the illuminations !! Thanks now x

Thanks miss spooky x Yes,thats exactly what the council is trying to do, get you into private rented, but there's a shortage there too. They say there are landlords who will give people like me, a ' chance ' , i think they have lists of these people, but theres a shortage there, too. I think the landlords recieve support from the council to do this.

I've found somewhere, with alot of extension of the truth, shall we say, and i am slightly concerned what will happen, when they find out. But if you have no other option? At least i've got a roof over my head, and to be honest, a really nice one, at that. Its only temporary, for 6 months, and i need to find somewhere thats my own space. so in the meantime, i'll continue with this never ending wait with the council, for whatever they can find.

Nohope xx

Hi Nohope

Just wanted to say Im so glad you may have got accommodation sorted. Fingers crossed it works out for you.

My council produces a list that is updated each week. You can get it emailed direct, but have to request it each week, they wont just send it out automatically. But you are right, it has landlords that are less strict with their criteria, some that might accept less deposit or homebonds or people on benefits, pets etc etc. But again all areas are different.

Anyway am really rooting for you and hope it all works out.

Angie x

ani_26

Thanks Angie xx

Its a huge relief, but theres still a long way to go yet. I'll just be gald when its the 1st Novenber to be honest.

Nohope xx

ani_26

Its a long time since i've been here. Maybe i have got to start talking. Its so hard. Right back to where it all started, in this thread. Any good ,undone, wasted. What did i say crumbling? small steps? Is'nt that what i've been taking? Now one huge leap, right back to the beginning. But its not going to stop there, is it? I've now got all that trauma to go through in a few days time. Then moving most of my stuff out, the week after, then finally d day itself. Its all getting so close now, and i'm virtually on standstill. I can't do anything anymore. Maybe it took it out of me too, earlier this week. Pretending i was a human being for a day, to secure myself a job, for a few weeks.That really took it out of me. Then being hit by this, when i did'nt even know about it. I thought it was coming at some stage though. I'm letting it all go, now. I can't be bothered to do anything, anymore. Even have a shower. I normally have a shower once a day, if not twice. I keep meaning to have a soak in the bath. I've had a shower now, but i can't get rid of that smell, thats around me. I can't be bothered to cook anymore. I've got good, fresh produce thats going off now. Because i can't be bothered to eat it. I'm not hungry anyway. Its down to toast. The only thing i can be bothered to get, now. I've lost the will to pack. I've been doing it for weeks. I still can't find what i'm looking for. Lost forever. I have to accept that. I can't post in my diary, because thats for how i'm really feeling. All the leaves are falling off the trees now. Its going to be bleak soon. Theres snow forecast for next week, which means snow here, for sure

So_Sad_Angel

Hi NH.

Moving is one of the most stressful things you can go through & the feelings of overwheming-ness are normal....well I certainly had them when I moved in January....that feeling like a steam train is heading right at you & you don`t seem to have the energy to get off the track :eek::eek:.....I know it well.

Do you have friends or family that can help? ...if not then don`t worry. Draw up a plan of action so you have some organisation to work towards & get plenty of boxes & bin liners ( or if monies tight then those freebie bags from the charity shops do just as well;););))....worst case senario is to just bag everything & sort it in your new place.

You must eat though.....& maybe some multivitamins to give you more energy.

You will get setbacks....so just be prepared for them as best you can.

lilibet1

nohope, do you mind me asking where you live? It might be that one of us lives near to you to give you some support x

tentimes

Nohope wrote: »

Its a long time since i've been here. Maybe i have got to start talking. Its so hard. Right back to where it all started, in this thread. Any good ,undone, wasted. What did i say crumbling? small steps? Is'nt that what i've been taking? Now one huge leap, right back to the beginning. But its not going to stop there, is it? I've now got all that trauma to go through in a few days time. Then moving most of my stuff out, the week after, then finally d day itself. Its all getting so close now, and i'm virtually on standstill. I can't do anything anymore. Maybe it took it out of me too, earlier this week. Pretending i was a human being for a day, to secure myself a job, for a few weeks.That really took it out of me. Then being hit by this, when i did'nt even know about it. I thought it was coming at some stage though. I'm letting it all go, now. I can't be bothered to do anything, anymore. Even have a shower. I normally have a shower once a day, if not twice. I keep meaning to have a soak in the bath. I've had a shower now, but i can't get rid of that smell, thats around me. I can't be bothered to cook anymore. I've got good, fresh produce thats going off now. Because i can't be bothered to eat it. I'm not hungry anyway. Its down to toast. The only thing i can be bothered to get, now. I've lost the will to pack. I've been doing it for weeks. I still can't find what i'm looking for. Lost forever. I have to accept that. I can't post in my diary, because thats for how i'm really feeling. All the leaves are falling off the trees now. Its going to be bleak soon. Theres snow forecast for next week, which means snow here, for sure

Putting my counsellor head on: this is you punishing yourself, on top of everyone else giving you a hammering you are giving yourself a kicking for good measure. Think about it

As someone who has been deep in the abyss too, many years ago, I eventually began to be able to seperate what others where doing to me from what I was doing to myself. When my mind cleared a bit I was able to stop doing things to myself. Easier said than done - we all have a natural tendancy to behave in this way.

I would urge you to find a focus, preferably not money related. When other stuff crowds your mind and it feels like you can't control the overwhelming negative thoughts, switch your focus. If you have any CDs left that have any sad songs on them, get rid of them, maybe give them to someone who needs them. When you have pondered a problem more than twice in succession in your own mind you won't solve it yourself, you need to externalise it and talk to someone else.

I found that I was my own worst enemy during these times and I eventually got help and support, learned to trust other people bit by bit, and took their advice sometimes, even when I really didn;t want to. They were able to know what was best for me better than I was in my state of mind. Handing over control helped a lot actually. In retrospect I think it was the overwhelming task of trying to control the mess that my life has become that actually caused me more stress and anxiety than everything else. I just worked on the little things I could control and left the rest.

You WILL get beyond this, and when you do, you will get much more out of life, for the rest of your life, even the simple things. That is something that stays with me - people often wonder why I am contented most of the time - it's the fact that I appreciate a lot of the small stuff that most others don't notice or take for granted. I got that from being where you are now.

Look after yourself and I will be thinking about you as you make your way through, round or over this. You will do it

P.S. I am not religious in any way, in case you are thinking that that is what I am talking about

neilscot44

tentimes wrote: »

Putting my counsellor head on: this is you punishing yourself, on top of everyone else giving you a hammering you are giving yourself a kicking for good measure. Think about it

As someone who has been deep in the abyss too, many years ago, I eventually began to be able to seperate what others where doing to me from what I was doing to myself. When my mind cleared a bit I was able to stop doing things to myself. Easier said than done - we all have a natural tendancy to behave in this way.

I would urge you to find a focus, preferably not money related. When other stuff crowds your mind and it feels like you can't control the overwhelming negative thoughts, switch your focus. If you have any CDs left that have any sad songs on them, get rid of them, maybe give them to someone who needs them. When you have pondered a problem more than twice in succession in your own mind you won't solve it yourself, you need to externalise it and talk to someone else.

I found that I was my own worst enemy during these times and I eventually got help and support, learned to trust other people bit by bit, and took their advice sometimes, even when I really didn;t want to. They were able to know what was best for me better than I was in my state of mind. Handing over control helped a lot actually. In retrospect I think it was the overwhelming task of trying to control the mess that my life has become that actually caused me more stress and anxiety than everything else. I just worked on the little things I could control and left the rest.

You WILL get beyond this, and when you do, you will get much more out of life, for the rest of your life, even the simple things. That is something that stays with me - people often wonder why I am contented most of the time - it's the fact that I appreciate a lot of the small stuff that most others don't notice or take for granted. I got that from being where you are now.

Look after yourself and I will be thinking about you as you make your way through, round or over this. You will do it

P.S. I am not religious in any way, in case you are thinking that that is what I am talking about

Does not come across as religious in any way as neither am I. What you have said as someone how has been there, the depths of despair i could not have put it better myself, well done and thank you for putting this message up. I am sure there will be a lot of people find it helpful. What you say is so true. As for the sad music.. ooh yes for sure when your down its like a drug and it just makes things worse.

thebeeches

I don't often post but this thread has really got to me.

Nohope, I wish you all the best. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. Please take one step at a time, you will get there in the end. You have somewhere to live for 6 months which is good. Enough time to establish a base and time for you to seek and arrange your next accommodation.

I wanted to reassure you on some points. I am a landlord (only one property and its occupied by the way). In no way will your credit rating effect your new landlord. Credit ratings are linked by name not address these days so anything that effects your credit will not effect your landlords.

Although it can be difficult to find landlords that accept tenants on housing benefit there are people out there who will consider each case on its merits. For a tenant on housing benefit, the landlord at least knows that if the tenant gets into arrears, the council will start paying direct. So the rent will be virtually guaranteed. In these economic times any tenant paying rent themselves could easily lose their job and not be able to pay the rent.

I would prefer to have a tenant that doesn't wreck the property, even if that means waiting for the council to pay the rent. At the end of the day you know the council won't run away leaving a mess behind with no forwarding address!

Two most important things are a roof over your head and to eat properly.

Following close behind is the support from the lovely people that hang out on this board. They are hear for you, so let them support you.

Hoping things get better for you

TheBeeches