Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Right, one more question while i'm here, that someone may be able to help me with, re subject of repo and baliffs.

I've not had a whisper from lender with regard to keys to said property. Maybe its too early. BUT - i'm not going to be here on repo day. Shall i just post the keys through the letterbox ? Now, even I fnd that humuorous at this point in time, (i'm sure i won't then ), and it will take them longer than 10 mins to replace one lock, for sure. They'll have to replace the door. Even i can smile at that. I'm not spending time and increasing stress levels by chasing them, again. Or maybe someone will turn up on my doorstep with a DOA at some point before then?

Thanks in advance x

tigerfeet2006

Doesn't matter what you do with the keys tbh. They are going to change the locks anyway. So post them back throught the letterbox, put them in the bin, keep them for a while so you can get back in until repo, post them to the mort. co. What ever you feel like doing.

JMV

Nohope,

There can't be many people who have read your posts and not been moved...I think you are in the dark place that most of us here are desperately trying to avoid...

When you are a proud, resilient and self sufficient man (or woman) the debts and their consequences can be a bitter pill to swallow...like you I am older than I'd like to be and feel that after years of working hard to build something for myself, it is all going to disappear in one fell swoop (of the OR's arm) and I am faced with started again...if I dwelt on it too much it would make me miserable beyond bearability...

I am a trained counsellor, and my instinct is to try and 'help' but any suggestions I could think of seem trite and implausible (at best) and unsympathetic and lacking in empathy (at worst)...

All I can do is share my thoughts about my own situation and how I am approaching the feelings of doom...

I dread the next year...and my only goal is to get 'beyond' it...I will take one step at a time and deal with what gets thrown at me with an objective and systematic approach - summed up as do what needs to be done and don't think about it too much.

For the future...a good strategy (for me) is to look at where I want to be...and, each day, do something that will help me get there(no matter how small)...If you are a reader then look at NLP and Cosmic Ordering (see...there I go giving advice..I just can't help myself)...writing helps me...writing about my feelings, thoughts (angry, sad, desperate, ludicrous any and all)...and writing about what I want out of life...

I can only view my situation as an opportunity to 'wipe the slate clean'...even if it means starting from scratch...if I viewed it as the end of things I don't think I could cope...so I have to remain optimistic (as much as is humanly possible)...

I am trying to be thankful for the things I DO have and not think about the things I don't...

My best wishes are with you

ani_26

I don't know what to say. I'm becoming, in some ways ,overwhelmed by the replies posted now.That people are reading what i've written and are replying to it, in this way. I suppose i'm replying to people now, rather than talking to myself, which is how its has been for so long. I'm talking mysefl through everything that is happening right now.Is still continuing to happen. but its an achievement in itself, that i'm talking.

Probably around this time last year, i was thinking along the same lines as yourself, although i was looking to go bankrupt early in the new year. At this point. But as you've probably read, alot happened in between now and then. My opportunity to wipe the slate clear, just never seems to become a reality. If i sit and think about it, after seeing others posts about discharge, think about my own, and in real terms i suppose i'm two thirds of the way through now. But it just does'nt feel like it. Am i really that far, post bankruptcy? Nothing has changed, perceptibly, from pre bankruptcy.Very little. I have to be honest about that. I still get some letters and phone calls, ( not as many as before), I'm still stuck in the place i used to love, but now mostly hate, and i'm still awaiting the outcome, of all of this, to see how far i will be punished, ( it very much feels ). Don't you feel i've had enough punishment? I can't talk about this too much, right now. Maybe i'll have some idea, fairly soon. Yes, it has been, is currently, and will continue to be detrimental to my health, until i can finaly commence with closure on all the issues that are STILL hanging over me. I think the only time i felt any sense of relief, ( for a short period of time ), was when i'd actualy come out of court, into the fresh air outside, and thought - i'm bankrupt, was that it. I should have known it was'nt.

Maybe i'm punishing myself, writing this now. It was' nt what i intended to write, at all. Having said that, i don't know what i intended to write. So i won't delete it, as i have'nt deleted any of my mish mashing, so far.I'm going more and more down the negative road again, with this. But i call it being realistic. I don't consider i'm feeling too bad at the moment, considering what i'm shortly about to face. But realisticaly, i HAVE to say. Yes, i'm leaving my home very soon, but its not over until the house is sold. That is realism. The debts won't ' disappear ' until the house is sold, ( unless i'm misunderstanding something ). From what i've read too, i've got a fight on my hands against the lenders, who will try, is it ' underhand methods ', after repossession of my home. Then i've still got the * ,who can make my life as unpleasant as they like, for as long as they like. THEN, i've got the madness of next week to contend with. What was i thinking of?

This was'nt the post i intended to make at all, so i'd better shut up.I'm keeping away from my emotional diary at the moment, since it was'nt a good place to be, last time. It looks like i've inadvertently ended up here again, whilst i try to put my thinking head on, and deal with all the practitalities, at the moment. And to ssa, yes, my * pay has gone to my old account. How could that have happened after all this time ? Now i've got to wait and hope it bounces. The waiting game. Maybe sometime soon.


JMV I admire you're positivity. I do have fleeting thoughts of what i might like to consider for my future, but its almost impossible to make any serious plans, until the slate really is wiped clear from all this,that it still hanging over me,even now. Maybe theres a degree of anger, in what i've written now. Which is good, because i'm going to need it, if i stand any chance of survival, but i know i'll end up changing my username to crumbling ( sorry crumbling ) x ,very soon.

So, if my obscure ramblings help prevent any one descending into the cesspit i'm currently in, or they identify in any way, with how i'm feeling, i suppose, in some way, you could say its been worthwhile.


Aaaaaarghhhhh

JMV

NoHope,

Rambling is good...it's a stream of consciousness kind of deal...it can only be good to let it out and if you've bottled it up for years and not had anyone to share it with, then I, for one (and I'm sure there are more of us) would say...ramble on dude! People will always have a choice whether to read it or not...

I hate my house too...it's not the same, because I don't own it and I'm not in any danger of losing it...but I used to love it and take care of it and now I can't be bothered...I do feel like I will be bothered again at some point in the future...

I also wanted to say that I used to work with Homeless People so have a background in housing and social work...so have a lot of knowledge in all things of that nature...I was known for my veracity and there was not a housing officer in my local council who didn't fear the sound of my voice on the telephone...if I can be of any help in the practical sense shout out...

I am also happy to listen...and if you need to pm (and I will give you my email address) ...I will offer you a sympathetic ear and certainly some strategies for coping - if that's what you feel you need...

The offer is there but I won't take it personally if you don't take it up...

Take care of you x

ani_26

tigerfeet, i think i knew that was a stupid question, before i asked it, doh. Ah well, i hope they have fun, and no, i not going to tell anyone what i'm going to do with the keys........................

ps, i did try to be a really decent citizen, on this occasion, by trying to return the keys in a formal manner.


JMV Someone else mentioned the stream of consciousness thing. I'm afraid thats all way above my head, although i'm slightly concerned it might make me certifiable. I just noticed your other post. I was looking for something else, ( because i'm not organised enough even on a computer ), to sign up to something i want to read. I thought it was well buried and forgotten, on page 100 or whatever, by now. I should be so lucky, ( i'm not having a go at you ). i'm sure i'll be back there at some stage, ( probably tomorrow ).

I too, stopped reading books, a long time ago, and believe me i've read some very aherm books. I read alot of Solzhenitsyn, in my youth, pre teenage in fact. One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich, and all that. Rather bizarre taste for a child. It reflects my penchant for Russian Classical music, as well, ( i'm of no Russian descent ). But anyway, i simply don't believe in reading this or that book, or listening to this or that theory, in the hope you will help yourself. Theres only one person that can help yourself, to my way of thinking. Maybe thats the wrong way of thinking, but i hold with my theory.The last books i read, were the Charley Boorman and Ewan McGregor escapades, on their various biking journeys, ( i watched the tv series' too ), because i'm into travel and things that are powerful and fast. Well, theres a positive, at least.

I've just realised i'll be getting into trouble with admin or whatever, for going ' off topic ' , so maybe i will have to continue elsewhere.



Oh, and thanks for your offer of help. Its much appreciated,maybe in the future. I just need to focus on those stupid small steps i tell other people about, in order to ' survive ' the next two weeks.

So_Sad_Angel

What an excellent thread NH....I know you still have a way to go but your posts have a really bright glimmer of hope now. I can feel your postive outlook shining through & I know you will be able to get through these coming weeks to a better place in your life.

I think getting thoughts out of your head & down on the page is a massive step forward & you have helped so many others at the same time by sharing.

I am so glad you are walking. It is great exercise for the mind, body & soul & even better than everything it is free!! Wow 7 miles too...well done you! ( I take my cameras too when I go walking....hehe I like to bore everyone on FB with them LOL)

Have you written a `to-do` list yet? ....I find its a really empowering feeling as you start crossing off the things you`ve done.

Angiexx

JMV

Nohope wrote: »

I too, stopped reading books, a long time ago, and believe me i've read some very aherm books. I read alot of Solzhenitsyn, in my youth, pre teenage in fact. One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich, and all that. Rather bizarre taste for a child. It reflects my penchant for Russian Classical music, as well, ( i'm of no Russian descent ). But anyway, i simply don't believe in reading this or that book, or listening to this or that theory, in the hope you will help yourself. Theres only one person that can help yourself, to my way of thinking. Maybe thats the wrong way of thinking, but i hold with my theory.The last books i read, were the Charley Boorman and Ewan McGregor escapades, on their various biking journeys, ( i watched the tv series' too ), because i'm into travel and things that are powerful and fast. Well, theres a positive, at least.

This all made me smile (wryly)...sounds just like me....reading War and Peace while my friends giggled over Bunty Comics....And listening to Scheherazade by "Rip-yer-Corsets-Off" while my friends drooled over Donny Osmond...

Having said that...and begining to feel like I have found a bit of a kindred spirit...I will say that, whilst it's true that only you can help you...you can also learn a few tricks along the way...writing was invented to communicate - books are just communication...of an idea or theory...

however, because of your apparent dislike of 'self-help' type books I will only recommend one - Families and How to Survive Them by Robin Skyner and John (yes that one) Cleese...brilliant, funny and OMGobsmackingly Insightful...

Have a good evening and I am sorry for resurrecting your other 'thing'

ani_26

Oh its ok. Like i said, i'm sure i'll be back there tomorrow, at some stage, hmmm

Thats right, i read War and Peace, Dostoyevsky..................

But i was into ' pop ' music too, and rock music.

Scheherazade, you'll set me off singing that, now


SSA - i can barely walk today, my hips are so stiff. I must work out how to download my photis from my phone, although they were fairly random, as i have'nt read the instructions yet. I can't see how well they have actually turned out. See if you can identify where it is, lol

dscott

I wish you good luck and strength in this life challenge. You'll get through this and will be looking back at all this with a smile.:)